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Hello, nurse -- Make me a sammich!

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  • Hello, nurse -- Make me a sammich!

    Another story from my boyfriend, the Sturdy Nurse. (He cut his hair again so he's no longer the Rasta Nurse.)

    A man was admitted, and his wife was keeping him company. These appeared to be extremely upper-crust sorts of people. As such, they were appalled at the level of service and amenities to be found at the hospital.

    "Don't you have slippers for my husband?" the woman asked my boyfriend indignantly. "What kind of hospital doesn't have slippers? He'll catch cold!"

    This might be a valid complaint... were it not the Emergency Room we're talking about here. The ER does not have time to fret about slippers. It's usually too busy trying to get your shoe off your severed foot so it can be reattached to fret about slippers in fact, and it does have socks for patients to wear if they need them.

    In short, save your slipper indignation for the possibility that the patient is admitted for a prolonged stay. Bitch at the people on the cardiac floor or the cancer ward, or the pulmonary floor for not having slippers for people who will be there for weeks on end. Don't spew it at the ER personnel when the patient isn't going to be walking the floors because the patient is going to be there for a day at most.

    But wait! There's more!

    After it was established there were no slippers and none would be forthcoming, the wife settled down to stew about it.

    Then she got hungry. She summoned my boyfriend.

    She wanted a club sandwich and a soft drink with five ice cubes in the glass.

    Five -- any more and the drink gets watery, any less and it's too sugary, she explained.

    Boyfriend waited a beat (he has very good comedic timing), then gave very detailed directions to the cafeteria and the drink machine, voice rising over hers when she attempted to interject.

    Then he walked away. What else can you do in a situation like that?
    Drive it like it's a county car.

  • #2
    I love your boyfriend's response. It's a hospital, not Club Med!
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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    • #3
      Reminds me of 4 minutes in the life of a nurse.

      These people are so ridiculous. The doctors should prescribe them a heavy dose of reality.

      Comment


      • #4
        Good for Sturdy Boyfriend! Cheers from the former ER nurse. That's exactly how I would have handled it.

        And she wouldn't have gotten slippers on the floor, either. Just the grippy socks.

        And people wonder why health care costs keep going up
        They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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        • #5
          Australia has a couple of options for health care.

          You can rely on public health care alone, or you can buy health insurance to supplement it. (Or you can 'insure yourself', and save lots of money.)

          Public hospitals never charge anything more than the public health care system covers: so they're free.

          Private hospitals can charge whatever the hell they like. So yes, in some hospitals, she could be waited on hand and foot by the nursing staff. And complimentary slippers, and robes, and even chocolate on the pillows, can be available.
          Seshat's self-help guide:
          1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
          2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
          3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
          4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

          "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hey, nurse! Get me food before I get hunger pains! Wazzat? You need to stitch up that little boy's leg before he bleeds to death?!! Don't be so dramatic! He can last 10 minuts while u get me a sammich!
            Answers: $1
            Correct Answers: $2
            Answers that require thought: $5
            Dumb looks are still free.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Seshat View Post
              Australia has a couple of options for health care.

              You can rely on public health care alone, or you can buy health insurance to supplement it. (Or you can 'insure yourself', and save lots of money.)

              Public hospitals never charge anything more than the public health care system covers: so they're free.

              Private hospitals can charge whatever the hell they like. So yes, in some hospitals, she could be waited on hand and foot by the nursing staff. And complimentary slippers, and robes, and even chocolate on the pillows, can be available.
              Except that she'll have to pay for those extras, since private health insurance doesn't cover everything .
              The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

              Now queen of USSR-Land...

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              • #8
                Quoth fireheart View Post
                Except that she'll have to pay for those extras, since private health insurance doesn't cover everything .
                Oh, of course!

                Yes - sorry, I realise I was ambiguous. Fireheart's clarification is needed. Private health insurance will cover private hospital fees, but only to a point. And while they'll cover some optional things (eg private rooms), they are health insurers, not luxury hotel insurers.

                Beyond a certain point, Ms Expectation would be paying (even more than 'just' top level private health insurance) to have her expectations met.
                Seshat's self-help guide:
                1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Seshat View Post
                  Oh, of course!

                  Yes - sorry, I realise I was ambiguous. Fireheart's clarification is needed. Private health insurance will cover private hospital fees, but only to a point. And while they'll cover some optional things (eg private rooms), they are health insurers, not luxury hotel insurers.

                  Beyond a certain point, Ms Expectation would be paying (even more than 'just' top level private health insurance) to have her expectations met.
                  And a further clarification is needed-in a public hospital you can choose to be treated as a public or private patient. No real difference between the two except that with private health insurance you can pick the surgeons provided they can practice at the hospital. (oh and obviously you have to pay)

                  In a public hospital, rooms are allocated according to needs. Private health insurance does not guarantee someone a single room.

                  ETA: Last time I had to go in the hospital for mental health issues, the nurses were friendly to us as long as we treated them the same. I even got cake on a couple of occasions.
                  Last edited by fireheart; 01-17-2012, 10:24 PM.
                  The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                  Now queen of USSR-Land...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Lvl_9_Gazebo View Post
                    "Don't you have slippers for my husband?" the woman asked my boyfriend indignantly. "What kind of hospital doesn't have slippers? He'll catch cold!"
                    Perhaps I'm ignorant of some health-related details, but I fail to see the connection between bare feet and rhinovirus. Unless he has an open cut or abrasion on his foot and steps on some kind of vector for the virus, how would not wearing slippers cause him to contract the disease?

                    His feet might GET cold without slippers, yes, but how does that also mean he would get A cold?


                    Also, why should she get a sandwich if she's not the patient? When my son was born, my wife got all the attention (which she deserved). I didn't get any free food. I didn't get any special treatment. All I got was directions to the cafeteria, a lumpy pillow, and a bemused look from one of the nurses when I asked if I could watch her change the first diaper as I had never done so and wanted a demonstration so I wouldn't foul it up too bad when my turn came.
                    I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
                    - Bill Watterson

                    My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
                    - IPF

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                    • #11
                      Quoth HawaiianShirts View Post
                      Perhaps I'm ignorant of some health-related details, but I fail to see the connection between bare feet and rhinovirus. Unless he has an open cut or abrasion on his foot and steps on some kind of vector for the virus, how would not wearing slippers cause him to contract the disease?

                      His feet might GET cold without slippers, yes, but how does that also mean he would get A cold?
                      It's the myth that being cold makes you vulnerable to rhinovirus. "Wear a sweater when you go outdoors, you'll catch your death of cold!"
                      Seshat's self-help guide:
                      1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                      2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                      3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                      4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                      "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I loved his response. I hope his work doesn't have 'customer comment cards' though

                        "Staff would not stop goofing-off and fetch food for me"
                        "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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                        • #13
                          Quoth LillFilly View Post
                          I loved his response. I hope his work doesn't have 'customer comment cards' though

                          "Staff would not stop goofing-off and fetch food for me"
                          We get crap like that on the Press Ganey reports.
                          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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