So Gyno visits... What's up with those? (TMI)

[MelodiousBubbles]

Okay, so I went in for an appointment for birth control because for the first time ever, I've actually needed it (only took me almost 23 years, but whatever). One of the stipulations to this doc signing off on my script after the first six months is making an appointment for going in for a gyno visit and starting on those super fun yearly exams all women know and love. Whatever, I'm almost 23, so I should be doing this anyway, and my insurance fully covers one exam/pap a year so cost isn't going to be an issue.

My problem comes with the fact that I'm going to have a complete stranger looking at my vagoo. That, and the fact that I have NO idea what to expect. I don't have problems with answering the questions and divulging the nitty gritty details, but when it comes to the actual exam, I'm rather clueless.

Anyone care to tell me what goes on during these mystery exams? Any tips or cautions or anything? I still have five months on my script, but I just want to make sure I'm prepared because I'll be a nervous, anxiety-ridden wreck if I'm not.

[Sparky]

Okay, here's what goes on during those mystery exams:
1. If you have a male doctor, a female nurse will be present in the room. She won't be doing anything, just serving as a witness that your doctor isn't doing anything he's not supposed to. This is for his protection as well as yours.
2. You'll get the usual sort of "once over," a listen with a stethoscope, etc.
3. The doctor will have you lie down and will probably examine your breasts. Then will push gently on your belly here and there.
4. Now comes that mysterious part - your doctor will ask you to put your feet in the stirrups. You remain on your back, and you slide way, way, WAY down the table until your butt is almost hanging off the end. At this point, he or the nurse will probably drape a sheet (probably paper) over your knees. This serves as a screen so you don't see what's going on. I think the purpose of this is to make you less embarrassed. Amazingly, I always found that it works, but YMMV. If you don't want the sheet, you can just push it out of the way.

While you're in this inglorious position, your doctor will
a. insert fingers into your "vagoo" and feel around
b. poke you in the tummy with his other hand while feeling around
c. insert the speculum. This is a device that looks sort of like two spoons. It may be made of plastic or metal, and if it's metal, it may be cold. Nice doctors keep in under a lamp or something to keep it warm. When he opens it it feels like a tiny umbrella being opened inside you. It feels weird and may be slightly uncomfortable, but should not hurt.
d. scrape your cervix with a brush to collect cells for a Pap smear. This may or may not hurt a little.
e. turn the speculum sideways while it's still open, so he can see the parts that it previously covered. This feels even weirder.
f. remove everything else, and stick his finger in your rectum for a second.

It's all kinds of fun but seriously, nothing to stress over.

Tip: Do not schedule right before your period. You'll be more sensitive then.

[MaggieTheCat]

Here is a good thread with a lot of info for anyone who's never had a "well woman" exam:

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=74387

Highlights:

-Don't go when you have your period (including if you're spotting) unless you have abnormal periods and the dr. wants to exam you then.
-Don't have sex for a couple of days before your exam.
-Know when your last menstrual cycle was.
-Try to relax as much as possible, it helps the exam go by faster.

Good luck!

[dragon_wings]

Everyone's covered what I would have said.
I'll tell you from experience going on the first day of your period? Interesting in a not so cool way. But I was desperate I was about to see my ling distance boyfriend for a long weekend.... So yeah. I needed birth control.

[Blade]

Note: I think Sparky's post should be the default reply when men start whining about needing a prostate exam when they hit 40, heh...

Notice how "fingers up the butt" is just a last-minute comment tossed into the rest of what we've been doing every month for at least 20 years by the time WE hit 40?

Mmmmhm. Quit cryin'. ;-)

[Missyanthrope]

Frankly, the first thing I would tell you is to relax. I know that is hard, but hear me out on this.

I have a good friend who is an Ob/Gyn, and the way he put it to me was that he sees dozens of "vagoos" a day, and frankly it lost its magic YYYEEEAARRSS ago for him. He equates it to a GP looking in someones ears during an exam. Its just what he does in order to practice the line of medicine he wants.

I think each and every woman who goes in feels this way at least once, if not every time. Talking with him has helped me realize that my "vagoo" isnt the only one my Ob/Gyn will see that day, and five seconds after my Dr. is done he won't remember mine from the next womans. They are all sort of the same, really.

In fact I am 37 weeks into a high risk pregnancy and am due for a pelvic today to see if I'm effacing/dialating. And that lost its fear factor a LONG time ago when I had to have them weekly for two months with my previous two children. My teen foster daughter isnt sure she wants to see her sister born, and cant believe I'm willing to lay there with my legs open to everyone in the room whilst I give birth. Its not like I have a choice I tell her, and besides, given that this hospital has an average of 7-10,000 live births a year? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they have seen what I have a LOT and could care less.

Work on realizing this is just in your head. The Dr. won't be judging you like you are in a "vagoo" beauty contest. To him, its basically a body part, just like everyone elses. And it gets easier the more times you go have it done. Relax, and just be proud of the fact that you are willing to put your discomfort aside in order to remain healthy. Some people aren't, and end up paying dearly for that.

[Little Retail Rabbit]

Bubbles, this is exactly why I fear moving to the US.

In the UK, we only have to have the exam once every 5 years (I haven't started yet as I'm not 25 nor have I had children or a relevant health problem). We certainly do not require the exam to gain birth control.

I have major anxiety and tokophobia and all sorts of phobias regarding "vagoos", pregnancy...anything basically connected with "down there". People rarely take it seriously, but as Maggie pointed out, in that topic I found I'm not alone in my anxieties.

I had to quit therapy so I have not had any of my issues resolved, but the NHS (UK) procedure, I was sloooooowly warming to.

I think I'm going to have MASSIVE problems with stirrups. I was informed the NHS procedure requires you to lie down and put your ankles together, knees spread. I find that more emotionally comforting for some reason. Also, I was told we don't need to undress if we were a skirt, and as I love long skirts, that suits me right down to the ground.

In fact, this is what the NHS website states:

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cervica...performed.aspx

It was in an e-leaflet I read the other bits of information in but I can't locate it.

Basically, my new issue is that while I can coax myself round (eventually) to do it by the UK procedure, I cannot simply take the jump to the procedure that Sparky describes with my anxieties. I'm going to have to find a doctor who will do things the way I can do it, even if it seems unconventional by his or her American standards.

The way I look at it, the doctor must conform to my wishes. I am perfectly aware of how important the test is, but it doesn't change my fears. So they must be accomodating towards me...if I've made the effort to turn up to the appointment, and they refuse to meet me halfway, then I'll walk out.

[Treasure]

Little Retail Rabbit - I am nearing 30, and I can honestly say that I have only done this ONCE.

yes I know, there are all kinds of reasons for me to go... but lack of Ins./funding has been my biggest reason for not... add to that the fact that I am not on BC and won't (my reason's are my own - DO NOT let that go into fratching!) and except for stress related skips, I have a VERY normal and regular cycle, I am not prone to infections, etc - so I don't see a need.

[Solumina]

Let the doc know that it is your first time getting an exam, even though you are new to their practice at 23 it is somewhat unusual for you to have never had one. If there is anything that makes you uncomfortable either emotionally or physically, let the doc know so that they can put you at ease, especially since you are new so just explaining exactly what they are doing and why can be a big help. These exams puts you in a very vulnerable (and quite frankly really odd position) so docs are used to people being nervous and such.

[Aethian]

Geeze I had my first visit at 28. It was time I thought, that and I had a guy pawing at me who I wanted to paw back at.

My doc is very soft spoken and will have a conversation about almost anything other then what he's doing. My first visit I had a student doctor in there with me and she held my hand cause I wasn't used to anything there. The second time a female nurse was just by the door. This third time I didn't have a nurse. And the conversation was how he was a AF gyno on the same base my BF is currently moving to.

So in other words, relax and you'll be just fine.

[Luna Baby]

I agree with what everyone else it telling you--relax. That is the absolute most important thing you can do. I've been having annual exams since I was 16 (nearing in on 22 years of it now). I can say that it doesn't matter how many gyn exams you've had or how comfortable with your doc you are, it is still an uncomfortable time. Not meaning pain uncomfortable, just that it's not everyday you have someone poking around while you feel exposed--that type of uncomfortable. I would recommend you set an appointment to meet and discuss only with your gyn what your will be seen for (continuing BC) and to discuss your own personal issues with the exam. He/she can tell you exactly what to expect. You also get a chance to decide if this is the doctor you will want to continue with. It is very possible that you could do this all in one visit, so long as the scheduling staff knows in advance that you want time to meet/discuss first and then, and only then, will you proceed if you feel comfortable enough.

BTW, my first OB/GYN helped me learn to relax. He could sense I was nervous and he stopped all exams and asked me to place both hands on my upper abdomen (out of the way of his exam), find a focus point, and breathe. Deep breathe. It works everytime!

Good luck to you. Knowing that you are taking responsibility for your own bc and sexual health should go a long way in getting through this.

~Luna

[42_42_42]

f. remove everything else, and stick his finger in your rectum for a second.

I've been getting these every year since I was 15 and I've NEVER had that happen.

[MaggieTheCat]

I just wanted to add that no one should feel "embarrassed" or "ashamed" or anything else no matter how young or old you are when you have your first exam, or first have sex. I had some hangups about this when I was younger and I don't want anyone else to feel the same way. I was 23 when I had my first exam (and shortly thereafter lost my virginity) -- I had every reason to go in earlier than that, since I'd been having abnormal periods since I was 10, but I never knew since no one ever told me. I didn't even know pelvic exams/pap smears existed until I started researching oral contraceptive on my own when I was 22-ish. I felt kind of embarrassed during my first exam because I knew then that I should have had one done a lot sooner, but my gyno didn't even bat an eye at the fact that I was nearing 24 and had never been in the stirrups before.

I think it's recommended (in the U.S.) that ladies normally start getting regular exams starting around 18-20, or when you start having sex, whichever is sooner. But do not let your age stop you from going; if you're 14 or 34 and it's your first time, don't feel bad. The docs have seen and heard it all and will not (or at least should not) judge you; if they do, they're not worth keeping.

[MelodiousBubbles]

I just love how everyone put the word vagoo in quotes, honestly. And it's not so much me being nervous about the doctor or anything. I just like knowing well in advance what's going to happen. I have anxiety problems, but when I know what to expect, it's not nearly as bad and I can usually convince myself to relax.

Thanks to all of you for your input, though!

[Pagan]

My biggest problem is that it is so undignified. Got your butt haning off the table, your feet up in the air, and you're cold!

The practice I go to is almost entirely women. I think this helps some because they know what it's like. The keep the speculum on a heating pad, there's a nice relaxing picture taped to the ceiling to give you something to focus on. There's even a note on my chart to use the smallest speculum they got. I usually make sure to either wear or take socks with, they don't mind you keeping those on to keep your feet warm.

f. remove everything else, and stick his finger in your rectum for a second.

I've been getting these every year since I was 15 and I've NEVER had that happen.

Me either! I'd be up off that table in a heartbeat if mine did that!