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One thing that I've always found is that your local supermarket is usually a great place if you want to witness a douche or two. These days a trip to the local food store is about as exciting an outdoor adventure I get, and so I usually jump at the chance to tag along.
Last night did not disappoint.
Sunday night is always an interesting time to go shopping. You've generally got a fair amount of people doing their frantic last minute shop in preparation for the coming week, which usually bring out the SCs in droves. At my local supermarket, they also put out a range of end-week specials, which seem to attract those bat-shit crazies who shouldn't really be allowed to leave their house unattended.
Last night was a wonderful mish-mash of the two.
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SC, standing in the bread aisle - [to her little tiny daughter] - 'Honey look at this. All the good bread is gone. Mummy wanted to get us the good $1 bread, but it looks like all the mean people have come here and bought it already! All that's left is this rotten $3 bread, and we don't want that! The cheap stuff should be ours!'
Daughter, who seems completely uninterested - 'ah-huh, okay mummy'
SC - 'Honey, if we cant have the bread we want then NO-ONE can have the bread that THEY want. Be a good girl and gather up all the bread that's left here and go hide it around the store, okay? Mummy will meet you down near the frozen food section, you go be a good girl and hide all this bread okay?'
Daughter - 'okay mummy'
And sure enough, she picks up a few loaves in her little hands and bit by bit, runs off and comes back empty handed.
We let one of the supermarket guys know so he could go round up the bread. But wow. Good job mum, ten out of ten for your parenting fail right there
___________________
Horrible young boy - 'Hey mum, muuuuuum. Hey. Get me this chocolate' *throws a handful of chocolates into the shopping cart'
SC, the mum, not paying any attention - 'Sure son, just put it in the trolley'
Horrible young boy - 'And this too....and this...and this' *starts throwing random candy bars and packs of lollies into the trolley'
The mum, still staring into space and paying no attention - 'Okay son, whatever you want'
Horrible young boy, walks over to a mum who is there with her own trolley and bunch of kids - 'Hey mum, MUM! Get over here! I want this too!' *starts taking food and drinks out of this other random woman's cart!*
Other mum, who thankfully IS paying attention - 'Oh, hey there, sorry little guy, that's my shopping! I need that for my kiddies too! If your mum says its ok, you can get all of this just the next aisle
'
Horrible young boy to random mum he just stole from - 'Fuck you lady' *keeps taking her food*
Other mum, now just standing there looking shocked - 'Um....sorry.....sorry little guy, I'm sorry but that's our food buddy'
Horrible young boy, now YELLS at her - 'I said FUCK YOU lady!'
The horrible boys mum finally looks up and starts to ALSO yell at the other random mum - 'HEY! What did you say to my child? Dont you dare fucking talk to my child! Look, you've upset him! What did you say to him!
Other random mum, still shaken - 'I'm sorry, he started taking food out of my trolley and when I nicely asked him not to he swore quite badly at me and in front of my kids'
Young boys mum - 'He's only a fucking child! He can take whatever he wants out of your fucking trolley! Jesus! Come on son'
And with that, she grabbed the horrible brat by the hand and walked off
Again, two thumbs up on the parenting there, you fucking nim-rod
______________________
We were at the deli counter looking to pickup some lunch meat, when all of a sudden we heard a kerfuffle to our left infront of the BBQ chicken section
SC, to the person serving - 'What do you MEAN there aren't any BBQ chooks left? How can you run out of the chooks?!'
Guy serving - 'Sorry sir, they go on clearance on a Sunday and because it's quite late [it was now around 10pm] and we're closing up soon, we aren't putting any more on tonight'
SC - 'This is a fucking joke! What the hell am I meant to give my kids for their lunch this week then, huh? My kids won't have nothing to eat now because of you!'
Guy serving - 'Uh, well, I mean, the store's full of good healthy alternatives that you can pick up for you kids lunches, we've still got a variety of lunch meats on sale if you'd like to have a look over here' *gestures to where we're standing - and note, we were getting a massive stack of devon slices for around 60c - great bargain!'
SC - 'I don't wanna feed my kids none of that shit, they're having REAL chicken. How long do I gotta wait for you to go cook one up for me, huh?
Guy serving - 'Like I said sir, we aren't putting any more chicken out tonight'
SC - 'Like fuck you're not!'
*Because he'd been yelling and swearing, a manager walks over at this point*
Manager - 'Hey buddy, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down and not swear infront of the other customers. What's the problem here?'
SC - 'This idiot claims you've got no more chooks and he won't cook up one for me either! It's a joke!'
Manager - 'Sir we're actually closing soon and we sold out of BBQ chickens well over an hour ago. We'll have another batch out for sale early in the morning, but there aren't any more going out tonight'
SC - 'My kids are gonna starve at school 'cause of you people!'
And with that he THREW his food basket to the floor and stormed out mumbling to himself.
Crazy bitches, the lot of them
Last night did not disappoint.
Sunday night is always an interesting time to go shopping. You've generally got a fair amount of people doing their frantic last minute shop in preparation for the coming week, which usually bring out the SCs in droves. At my local supermarket, they also put out a range of end-week specials, which seem to attract those bat-shit crazies who shouldn't really be allowed to leave their house unattended.
Last night was a wonderful mish-mash of the two.
________________
SC, standing in the bread aisle - [to her little tiny daughter] - 'Honey look at this. All the good bread is gone. Mummy wanted to get us the good $1 bread, but it looks like all the mean people have come here and bought it already! All that's left is this rotten $3 bread, and we don't want that! The cheap stuff should be ours!'
Daughter, who seems completely uninterested - 'ah-huh, okay mummy'
SC - 'Honey, if we cant have the bread we want then NO-ONE can have the bread that THEY want. Be a good girl and gather up all the bread that's left here and go hide it around the store, okay? Mummy will meet you down near the frozen food section, you go be a good girl and hide all this bread okay?'
Daughter - 'okay mummy'
And sure enough, she picks up a few loaves in her little hands and bit by bit, runs off and comes back empty handed.
We let one of the supermarket guys know so he could go round up the bread. But wow. Good job mum, ten out of ten for your parenting fail right there
___________________
Horrible young boy - 'Hey mum, muuuuuum. Hey. Get me this chocolate' *throws a handful of chocolates into the shopping cart'
SC, the mum, not paying any attention - 'Sure son, just put it in the trolley'
Horrible young boy - 'And this too....and this...and this' *starts throwing random candy bars and packs of lollies into the trolley'
The mum, still staring into space and paying no attention - 'Okay son, whatever you want'
Horrible young boy, walks over to a mum who is there with her own trolley and bunch of kids - 'Hey mum, MUM! Get over here! I want this too!' *starts taking food and drinks out of this other random woman's cart!*
Other mum, who thankfully IS paying attention - 'Oh, hey there, sorry little guy, that's my shopping! I need that for my kiddies too! If your mum says its ok, you can get all of this just the next aisle
'Horrible young boy to random mum he just stole from - 'Fuck you lady' *keeps taking her food*
Other mum, now just standing there looking shocked - 'Um....sorry.....sorry little guy, I'm sorry but that's our food buddy'
Horrible young boy, now YELLS at her - 'I said FUCK YOU lady!'
The horrible boys mum finally looks up and starts to ALSO yell at the other random mum - 'HEY! What did you say to my child? Dont you dare fucking talk to my child! Look, you've upset him! What did you say to him!
Other random mum, still shaken - 'I'm sorry, he started taking food out of my trolley and when I nicely asked him not to he swore quite badly at me and in front of my kids'
Young boys mum - 'He's only a fucking child! He can take whatever he wants out of your fucking trolley! Jesus! Come on son'
And with that, she grabbed the horrible brat by the hand and walked off
Again, two thumbs up on the parenting there, you fucking nim-rod
______________________
We were at the deli counter looking to pickup some lunch meat, when all of a sudden we heard a kerfuffle to our left infront of the BBQ chicken section
SC, to the person serving - 'What do you MEAN there aren't any BBQ chooks left? How can you run out of the chooks?!'
Guy serving - 'Sorry sir, they go on clearance on a Sunday and because it's quite late [it was now around 10pm] and we're closing up soon, we aren't putting any more on tonight'
SC - 'This is a fucking joke! What the hell am I meant to give my kids for their lunch this week then, huh? My kids won't have nothing to eat now because of you!'
Guy serving - 'Uh, well, I mean, the store's full of good healthy alternatives that you can pick up for you kids lunches, we've still got a variety of lunch meats on sale if you'd like to have a look over here' *gestures to where we're standing - and note, we were getting a massive stack of devon slices for around 60c - great bargain!
'SC - 'I don't wanna feed my kids none of that shit, they're having REAL chicken. How long do I gotta wait for you to go cook one up for me, huh?
Guy serving - 'Like I said sir, we aren't putting any more chicken out tonight'
SC - 'Like fuck you're not!'
*Because he'd been yelling and swearing, a manager walks over at this point*
Manager - 'Hey buddy, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down and not swear infront of the other customers. What's the problem here?'
SC - 'This idiot claims you've got no more chooks and he won't cook up one for me either! It's a joke!'
Manager - 'Sir we're actually closing soon and we sold out of BBQ chickens well over an hour ago. We'll have another batch out for sale early in the morning, but there aren't any more going out tonight'
SC - 'My kids are gonna starve at school 'cause of you people!'
And with that he THREW his food basket to the floor and stormed out mumbling to himself.
Crazy bitches, the lot of them
they have hot BBQ chooks. Which are also yummy 
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