Ugh, just had to call the police on my downstairs neighbors

[blas]

Imagine the worst door slammer being this little troll of a five foot tall little leprochaun.

And no, I'm not talking about my mom. I'm talking about someone even smaller and more socially clueless than her.

At my last apartment, for the last 9 months or so that I lived there, I lived above a young baby mama who had a helicopter mom (I'm assuming because there was never a man around) who literally spent 4-5 days a week at this girl's apartment while she was pregnant and even more after she had her baby.

This chick looked like Meg from Family Guy. Her older kid, a 4-5 year old girl, was really really cute and very well behaved, but the grandma was always yelling at her. AND SLAMMING DOORS!

Oh my god, this little freak could slam a door like no other! And she probably was no bigger than 85-90 lbs and no taller than 5'0!

Then last May, I moved back home to my parents' house. Even though I lost a lot of freedom and my ability to smoke whenever I want, I'm back in a really nice neighborhood where the only problems are dumb small dogs.

[Crossbow]

Hannelore!

Oh, that wouldn't have bothered me. Ten o'clock is fine. 3:00 AM isn't. Besides, Hannelore has acces to orbital bombardment systems. I don't mess with her.

[dakhur]

I found David Attenborough docos to be oddly effective. Something about the voice and descriptions just puts anyone off their 'stroke'.

Of course, you have to pick the right doco. His description of Elephant seals mating is good for rhythmic couples, while his learned discourse on the bellows of elk and deer seem to work on louder ones.

[fireheart]

The last family that lived above Mom had problems like that. The rules were "two hours a day" for practicing music. The woman's son seemed to think that "20 minutes every hour, all day long" somehow met this rule.

When Mom got sick of it she'd play her stereo, figuring that it would make it impossible for him to keep rhythm. And mostly it worked, except for one day when the guy just wouldn't STOP. I was there so I pretty much said, "Mom, I got this!" I opened my computer, queued up Mandy Patinkin singing supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ... in Yiddish. Within 2 minutes the kid was silent.

Damn that's funny
Also, unless the kid is a musical genius, 2 hours every damn day is not exactly the recommended for kids to practice. (Usually its 20-30 minutes unless the kid has an exam on)

[Pagan]

The old fart upstairs now, seems to spend an inordinate amount of time taking a shower and then a bath. Then, it sounds like he's dropping and dragging weights across the floor....or maybe a body.

He (or his annoying-as-hell grandkids) left his tub faucet running one day. Tub filled up, ran over into the spill-over, and leaked out of there, down the inside of the wall and into my bedroom and soaked the carpet in the corner of the bedroom. This is the third time I've had to deal with a leak caused by the assholes upstairs.

Of course, they also blasted their music at this hour as well. That stopped when they found out that Mrs. Crossbow and I like bagpipes and we have bigger speakers than they do.

I've been threatening to hoist my speakers up to the ceiling and do the same thing.

I did complain, however, when it was 1:30am and it sounded like she was rearranging furniture with a forklift. I knocked on her door and she said she had three children under the age of three in there and what did I expect her to do? I told her I expected her to be the grown-up and put the kids to bed.

I had one upstairs that the 8-year-old was jumping of the bed at 2am. Mom seemed surprised that I could hear this.