I suspect he's not after repeat customers

[Rapscallion]

I popped into the post office today to pay a bill, and while I was waiting in line a chap of unpleasant aspect came in. When I say unpleasant, I'll point out that he was scrawny, unkempt, missing several necessary teeth, stinking of (assumedly) cheap alcohol - you get the idea.

"Excuse me, sir," he said, throwing me off. I'm not used to being called 'sir'. "Would you like to buy this large bar of Dairy Milk for three pounds?"

"Sorry, I'm lactose intolerant," I told him.

He went down the line and tried with everyone, filling the air with the delightful scent of strong booze. Oddly enough, he didn't find anyone willing to take him up on his offer of cheap (though of suspect origin) chocolate.

"Bastards," he muttered loudly as he left in disgust.

I exchanged comments about his charming manner with others in the queue, paid at the counter, and left. Well, I tried to. He was coming back in the door as I was going out, and started to try to sell to me once more. Something in his brain finally connected and he sounded more like, "Excuse me, sir, but would you .... bastards."

Poor soul - I assume decades of SCs have worn him down...

Rapscallion

[Ackee]

((shudder))

Oh, I would hate to think where he got that chocolate from

[Rapscallion]

I'm assuming stolen. The three quid he wanted for it wouldn't have paid for much cheap booze, though, so no idea how he was intending getting more.

Rapscallion

[CurlyLocks]

Hmm, here in the US there's a wine called Three-Buck Chuck (actually there are Two-Buck Chucks as well). Surely you guys must have the 3 pound equivalent?

[zzapp the witch]

You made me think of that scene in Trading Places where Dan Ackroyd's character is the drunken dirty Santa on the subway and he takes that smoked salmon out of his jacket and starts eating it through the dirty beard, and goes, "Bleeeaaaaaaa!" at everybody.

[Rapscallion]

We do have really cheap wine, last I looked. It's used for cleaning silverware.

Rapscallion

[protege]

Some places in West Virginia have cheap wine. It's usually used for loosening the lugnuts on 1970s Chevy pickups though

[KuzcoLlama]

Hmm, here in the US there's a wine called Three-Buck Chuck (actually there are Two-Buck Chucks as well). Surely you guys must have the 3 pound equivalent?

You talking about the Charles Shaw? That sells for two or three bucks at Trader Joe's. People buy those wines by the truckload.

[tollbaby]

One of my favorites was the Kelly's Irish Wine that my ex-bf's mom bought for a special dinner one night. We took one look at the bottle, grabbed her car keys, and went and bought a decent bottle (underage, mind you) so her new boyfriend wouldn't be entirely put off LOL

[BlackIronCrown]

Hmm, here in the US there's a wine called Three-Buck Chuck (actually there are Two-Buck Chucks as well). Surely you guys must have the 3 pound equivalent?

Except that 3-buck chuck is actually a damned decent table wine.

[CurlyLocks]

Yes, it's the Charles Shaw. I've heard it's very popular but I've never tried it. I guess I'll just take BIC's word for it.

[repsac]

There's a couple brands I remember from my short stint at the Gas Station.

They are, in order of grossness (best to worst)

Barefoot. Wine cooler type of thing, if you must drink it the apple isn't half bad. Strawberry just tastes like a strawberry soda with a kick.

Boone County. This one isn't half bad I'm told. It's not really a wine, so much as it's a wine cooler. Usually costs three dollars a bottle.

Wild Irish Rose. Bottom of the wines, this one is cheap. It's also one of the few wines you'll see that have expiration dates. It's not uncommon for the wine to go out of date within a week of stocking. It usually congeals in the bottle into a rather odd smelling slime, then grows hair. (I kid you not!) It's also not uncommon for it to burst the bottle in its slime form. I often thought it was trying to escape.

MD 20/20. Aka Mogen David 20/20. Usually sold in pint flasks, rarely costs more than a dollar or two to buy. MD 20/20 smells faintly of grapes, with a slight hint of sweetness and an overpowering palor of turpentine. (Again, kid you not.) MD 20/20 is best used for cleaning silverware. Its shelf life is very short, only a few days. Usually at the end of its life, the alcohol/turpentine content of it will have risen to the point that given a good spark the bottle could double as a molotov coctail.

Night Train: Worst of the bunch. Night Train's flavor, as described by a conissour, is something along the lines of gasoline and paint thinner mixed. In fact, Night train WILL take paint off of a car hood, and burns a clear flame. It makes a good substitution for a sterno can should you run out of fuel for your hot bar.