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I don't need snow, I need cocaine!

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  • I don't need snow, I need cocaine!

    Backstory:

    About 3 weeks ago my biz partner was relaxing at home when, around 10pm, someone comes knocking at his door. It was a young guy in his early 20's who said he was homeless and was offering to mow his grass.

    "At ten o'clock at night?"
    "Oh, I don't really know what time it is."

    The kid offers to give biz partner his mom's phone number to verify he's on the level (why he doesn't live with his mom is anyone's guess) but Mike shoos him away.


    Now flash back to a week ago last friday - Snowmageddon for those of us on the East Coast. It had just started snowing and I was planning on cutting out a couple of hours before normal closing, but I stayed a little later to let someone stop by to pick up their computer. I'd hate for them to be without their laptop and snowed in for the weekend! I know I would.


    As I'm about to pack up, I hear someone outside, in front of the next store over, yell, "I don't need snow! I need cocaine!"

    So this young guy notices me and wanders in, offering to shovel the walk. I tell him the neighbors do it for us (which is true) and he says he'll check back in case it doesn't get done. I'm already picturing him coming back on the Monday after the storm to claim that he shoveled for us, but fortunately he didn't try it. The kid looks like he got hit in the face with meth. Red blotches and marks all over his face.

    After talking to my biz partner that weekend, he confirmed it was the same guy.

    Now, for the last week, he's been wandering up and down the main street in town, panhandling, bumming cigarettes from people, and so forth. To which I say, do what you gotta do, but don't panhandle in front of my store, which he did at least once. I didn't call the cops or anything but it did piss me off a bit. I don't want one of my customers coming or going and having someone hit them up for money.

    I digress.

    We had done work on a police officer's laptop, which he picked up this last Saturday. I asked if anyone had called to complain about the guy panhandling. The cop said no, but they were "very familiar with his work" and the kid had a bunch of scams constantly running, like he'd offer to do a tattoo for someone for a ridiculously low price, draw the design on their arm, and then charge them for drawing it. And if the person left in a huff, he'd try to keep their cell phone and lock his door so they couldn't get back in. Which blew my mind because just looking at this kid, even if he was doing legit tattoos, I wouldn't trust a needle in his possession. Probably catch Hepatitis just from being in the same room.


    I've been off for two days and I haven't seen him yet today, but if I see him begging people for money in front of my store I'm calling the cops. There's a big difference between being down on your luck and being a druggie scumbag running scams on everyone.

  • #2
    So....less snow, more blow, amirite?

    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • #3
      I don't need snow. I need...snow!
      To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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      • #4
        OK, he doesn't know what time it is on the clock - but can't he tell IT'S DARK OUTSIDE??
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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        • #5
          Quoth MoonCat View Post
          OK, he doesn't know what time it is on the clock - but can't he tell IT'S DARK OUTSIDE??
          Maybe he thought he was wearing sunglasses.

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          • #6
            Was he going to Chicago?

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            • #7
              Quoth Sandman View Post
              Was he going to Chicago?
              It's 106 miles away. You've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and you're wearing sunglasses.

              Hit it.

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvKs2VLmVnY
              Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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              • #8
                Quoth mjr View Post
                It's 106 miles away. You've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and you're wearing sunglasses.

                Hit it.
                Blue Brothers FTW! I love that film. Me and some friends went to a fancy dress party once dressed up as cast; I was the Mother Superior. The DJ saw us coming down the corridor and put Shake Your Tail Feather on as we came through the double doors!
                "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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