The comedienne cashier

[Spiffy McMoron]

Alleration in the title, oh my!

This seemed like the best place to put this event, which happened to me not 30 minutes ago.

So I need a few things for supper tonight, and I head off to the grocery store. Today, it's +24C, sunny, and gorgious! Convertables are converting, bikers are biking, and girls are pulling out their summer wear.

So I get my things and am standing in the express lane, trying not to be too obvious as I'm trying to eyeball the two cute girls in the next lane. I'm about to punch my debit info into the machine, which they leave. I failed at subtlety, and the cashier followed my gaze.

"Fake," she muttered.

It's the first time I've ever been bent over with laughter at a grocery store.

[Tria]

"Fake," she muttered.

So, did you concur with her appraisal?

[Becks]

That cashier sounds like me. Well, if I were a cashier. And in Canada. Anyhoo.

[Spiffy McMoron]

So, did you concur with her appraisal?

No. I thought that they looked real--truth me told, I thought that they were of an average side.

Well, I would think if my girlfriend would let me think.

[Lace Neil Singer]

A mate of mine reckons that the way to tell fake is if a girl's braless, but her boobs are still standing to attention. Or lying down and they are standing up.

[Banrion]

Fake boobs are spherical or disc shaped. Real boobs are rounded on the bottom, but have a gently sloping curve on the top.

[Broomjockey]

Well, since no one else has been saying it, I'll give the obligatory

"Useless without Pictures!"

Bit more serious now though, I wonder if Ms. Cashier was at all offended by your looking? Or if she was just having a bit o' fun

[blas]

I can say without a doubt that cashier probably would have said the same thing about me. Happens a lot

If the offending person is female, I offer them a feel. If they are male, I say something witty like "Too bad you'll never get the chance to find out!"

[Spiffy McMoron]

Or lying down and they are standing up.

Sadly, there's no lying down in a busy grocery store.

"Useless without Pictures!"

Bit more serious now though, I wonder if Ms. Cashier was at all offended by your looking? Or if she was just having a bit o' fun

Oh, I think that she was having quite a but of fun--I'm willing to bet that I wasn't the first one to ogle someone that day in front of her.

If the offending person is female, I offer them a feel. If they are male, I say something witty like "Too bad you'll never get the chance to find out!"

Hmmm...the goatee is a dead give away, so I probably wouldn't bother asking. I don't think they noticed me anyways.

[sportsmom]

A mate of mine reckons that the way to tell fake is if a girl's braless, but her boobs are still standing to attention. Or lying down and they are standing up.

A few years ago, I was at work, when a couple of guys on the staff were looking at one of those "fitness" magazines. (Not the ones that are actually useful, one of them that features several scantily clad models not doing anything that even closely resembles exercising.) They were discussing the girl in the photo, when I walked over, grabbed the magazine, tooka glance and said "Fake." They both looked at me and asked how I knew. "First, as cut as she is, she wouldn't have those, they would be gone. Second, she's lying flat on her back, and Laverne and Shirley are pointing to the ceiling. I don't care how young you are, with D's they're going to fall to the side." When I walked away, the each had a look as if I had just shot their dog.

[Rapscallion]

Reminds me of when I did a week of archaeology on a dig. Most of the people there were students, and they ended up discussing the size of cuppage on a page-three model. One of the girls took one glance and pointed out how the positions used in the photo made them look bigger.

Nice lass. Wonder what became of her?

Rapscallion

[Canarr]

I can say without a doubt that cashier probably would have said the same thing about me. Happens a lot

If the offending person is female, I offer them a feel. If they are male, I say something witty like "Too bad you'll never get the chance to find out!"

Hey, that's discrimination!

[blas]

Be that as it may, my dear, I'd rather offer a jealous woman a feel, so she could feel how squishy and natural they are to put her doubts to rest so she'd shut up.

I'd rather not give unworthy men the opportunity to oogle at them more than they already do, much less touch them.

[Ree]

Why do people make such an issue about breasts?

Some people act as if the fact that women have breasts are their only redeeming feature. Yeah, you're a female so, unless there is some serious problem, you're gonna have breasts. Hey, guess what? You got a head, 2 ears, 2 eyes, hair, a nose, a mouth, 2 shoulders, 2 legs, 2 feet, 10 toes, 2 arms, 2 hands, 10 fingers, ...and so on.

I really don't know why some people feel they deserve a medal because of they have managed to acquire 2 lumps of fatty tissue and mammary glands on the front of their chest.
I also don't know why people feel the need to comment on whether they are real or not. Does it really matter? Isn't this the 21st century? Have we really not come that far at all, that women are still being judged on their breasts? Why are they being made to feel that they need to prove their worth by advertising the fact that, hey, my breasts are real, thank you very much?

[Gabrielle Proctor]

I agree with Ree. I have huge boobs for being 5ft tall...D cup, my body could probably fit a B cup much better and look more natural...no one has ever commented on if they're real or fake (they're real), but I feel that sometimes people think that it is my only redeeming factor.

Except my wonderful boyfried who is reading this post right now over my shoulder and saying, "You're not just a pair of boobs, that's not right!" While I appreciate the things that he values about me, I don't want to have to wear baggy clothes to hide what I have because the old perv at wal-mart is oggeling me. Truthfully, I'd rather not have that kind of attention.

They're not all they're cracked up to be. I still get traffic tickets, I have to go to specialty stores to find bras that fit (they are always so uncute too), at night I feel like someone has been wailing on my back with a sledge hammer, and any simple graphic tee shirt becomes something "provocative". The girl who used to work at the hobbyshop with me would always comment on how I dressed to provocatively...in my work uniform...that has a collar...with an undershirt. I don't know why she would be so jealous, she's getting married and she can fit into cute clothes that I cannot!