*bomp*bomp*bomp* Another One Rides the Bus (very long and some profanity)

[JustADude]

Only now in addition to an extreme state of unwashedness, he also sports a very grubby and dirt-encrusted plastic hospital wristband.

Hmmmm? Psychiatric ward, perhaps?

[Caveat Emptor]

I had to ride Trailways to and from college for semester breaks. Mostly it was OK, but I remember once instance where a person (I will not call him a Man) started spewing his racist philosophy to the bus driver. One of the other passengers told him to shut up, to which the Racist yelled back about "free speech." The Pissed Off Passenger then answered. "Not on here. We have to be here, we can't leave until our destination, and we don't want to hear it!" That got some applause.

[csdrone]

He apparently asked me a couple of times according to someone else at the bus stop and after not receiving an answer he did the dumbest thing ever. He proceeded to reach into my personal space and remove my headphones. And to top it off after I literally ripped into he tried to lecture me about playing my music so loud that I couldn't hear people ask me questions.

Ask dickhead his name then tell the driver to have the COPS meet you at your stop. Press charges against dickhead for assault and battery.

[Gawdzillers]

My mother and I once didn't push the crosswalk button.
Heck, we didn't even know there was a button.
Of course, we live way out in the middle of nowhere, and only go to the city once in a blue-with-stripes-and-colorful-designs moon.

I felt bad, we held up a poor jogger who seemed to be getting a good workout but had to stop because of our foul-up.

[Andara Bledin]

More fun with freaks on the bus.

This morning's episode started with the man who didn't want to have to cross to the bus stop so thought the bus driver should let him on at the signal. She wasn't having any of it and made him walk the extra 30 feet.

He gets there, gets on the bus, and then proceeds to fumble with a handful of change. It took him a full stop to pick out enough to pay his fare, and he had a sour attitude the whole time.

Once he's paid, he tries to just stand by the fare box but the driver makes him move back, so he finally sits, but not before saying, rather loudly something about "raining on Negros." I, being the person I am, said rather audibly, "try just cranky old peole." Alas, I think he was hard of hearing, for he did not hear me.

Then, as if that first statement were not enough, he goes on to proclaim something about "slavery," just as loudly as the first stupid statement. To which I responded (not that he was listening), "That ended over 100 years ago, and you're not that old."

Thankfully, the old coot was only on for a mile and got off at the next stop. Good riddance.

Then, at the next stop, we had a guy who had one of those large foldable walkers that has a padded seat with a storage area under it. The bus driver told him, before he got on, that he would have to fold it up.

Some backstory: It seems that someone had a similar walker the day before, and it was left in the aisle and allowed to roll, so when the bus had to make a quick stop, it rolled up the aisle, sideswiping a couple of other passengers. Our driver was the one that was driving during that incident, and the SC was also on the bus when it happened.

So, the SC has heard that he has to fold it up, and he knows why he has to fold it up. So, he folds it up, all nice and neat, right?

As if.

He shoves it onto the bus, pays the fare for himself and his son (why his son couldn't have paid while he folded is something known only to SCs), and then proceeds to try to fold up the seats that are over the wheelchair anchors so he can put his unfolded walker there.

After several stupid attempts by him to avoid folding up his stupid walker, the bus driver gets fed up, comes back, folds the walker herself and stuffs it onto an area just inside the doors that is barely large enough for the folded walker.

SC, being who he is, proceeds to gripe at his kid about the whole affair for at least a mile. Then he shouts some question at the driver (about how far the bus goes in that direction), and when she fails to answer him, he uses that as an excuse to get even more pissy.

Thank goodness my stop was up. I'd already used up my "be snarky to idiots on the bus" alotment for the day on the cranky old oppressed guy.

^-.-^

[protege]

And to top it off after I literally ripped into he tried to lecture me about playing my music so loud that I couldn't hear people ask me questions.

...and this twit is still breathing?

When I'm at the gym, I always keep my volume up high enough that I *can't* hear people talking. After overhearing some woman talk about her husband's, um, "bedroom problem," I thought it was better that way. Trust me, I did *not* need to hear about that. However, my iPod tunes aren't so loud that you can hear them in the next county. There is one guy though, who has an iPod, and plays gangsta rap loud enough you can hear him in the next room!

[Nekojin]

I saw one yesterday (the sixth - almost an entire week past the start of the month). I was on one of the long-route buses that stops at a "Transit Mall" (a place where a lot of different buses - and one train - stop. But no shops). When we reached the Transit Mall, there was a large crowd of people waiting to get on, as usual.

The very first person to get on the bus was some withered old guy, who flashed a monthly pass at the driver, and started to hurry past. She sait, "Wait a minute," and had him come back. He came back, and started muttering under his breath.

She took a good look at the pass, and declared, "This is an OLD pass, you have to get a NEW one." She let him stay on the bus anyway - I think so that he'd stop blocking the aisle, and let other people on the bus.

As he shuffled back down the length of the bus, he muttered loudly, "Don't tell me old, YOU the old one," and continued mumbling profanities under his breath.

The kicker: He's clearly older than she is, by at least a decade.

[CrazedClerk]

I have a few:

Here he comes to the save the day?

This guy must have been feeling pretty mighty because he got into the bus and proudly stood near one of the posts, not holding on to anything secure, apparently content his superior sense of balance would see him through.

When the bus started moving, he stumbled badly and nearly faceplanted into the floor. Good comedy.

Can't say he didn't warn you

I was watching people board the bus and there was a bit of a step down just behind the driver, he was cautioning everyone about it but apparently one guy didn't listen as moments later I heard a loud SMASH! as the guy hit the floor. The driver just kind of craned his head a bit and stared blankly at the guy (who got back up momentarily)

Caught?

The major bus route in town uses those big double buses with the accordion thingy in the middle. Anyway these buses have two doors that people with passes are permitted to board WITHOUT having to offer any proof to the driver. As you can guess, this was abused regularly by people who DIDN'T have passes. So they have transit security guards that randomly board buses and check that everyone has a valid transfer or pass. Of all the times I took that bus, I barely saw them.

On this particular day I snuck on without a pass (I know, I know) and just my luck, the transit cops board the bus and check everyone out. I don't know how and I don't know why but by some freak chance, they MISSED ME! That's right, they checked just about everyone but me. I got off the bus at next stop. not wanting to push my luck, but damn what a break (it's $100 fine if you are caught on a bus without a pass or transfer).

"Funk"ytown

I once got on a bus that REEKED of B.O. It was one of those double buses. I got in the front and the smell was UNBEARABLE, so I moved further back but the stench was still pretty noticeable. It was so bad I actually GOT OFF at the next stop and waited for another bus.

I'm seeing double here!

On a bus in pittsburgh, at this one stop, a rather robust black lady with a ton of makeup and a ton of braided hair on her head hopped on board. At the very next stop, another robust black lady wtih a ton of makeup and a ton of braided hair on her head boarded. They could've been long lost sisters they looked so alike!

[wagegoth]

I've posted some before, but there are always more:

BART:
Older bag lady, swearing, talking, top of her lungs. Thankfully, I only have to ride for 10 minutes. (On hot or really cold, rainy days, street people will score enough money for a BART ticket, then ride it up and down for hours, unless the police pull them off.)

On the first few "Spare the Air" days, you can ride public transit for free. Which led to a lot of people taking advantage of the air conditioning on BART and the buses that I ride, sprawling across four seats on BART and sleeping. The bus drivers would make them get off and take the next bus, not letting them just keep crossing the Bay.

More than once, I've gotten on to find piles of sunflower seed shells all over the seats and floors. Frikkin' pigs.


Bus:
Video ho wannabes in training get on the bus one morning. Stop bell is rung, bus stops, we sit. No one moves, driver asks if anyone is getting off, VHWITs finally get up and mosey their way off the bus. A few days later, same VHWITs get on the bus. Stop bell is rung, bus stops, we sit for only 5 seconds this time, then the driver pulls out and heads for the next stop. VHWITs start screaming from the back seat. Driver ignores them, drops them at the next stop, and they have to walk about 4 extra blocks. Never saw them again. My driver's the best.

Foreign tech workers with cologne fixations. I have allergies. I don't want them to think I'm racist, but I'm not spending my ride coughing, sneezing and choking.

About three times I've seen this woman get on the bus. She always tries to get a disability discount, but doesn't have a card. Driver refuses. She starts yelling that she's too busy to keep getting disability cards, and she has mental problems, and, and, and, AND the bus driver tells her to pay the full fare or get off. She finally does, then spends the rest of the trip talking loudly on her cellphone, complaining about everything.

Twice I've seen this woman, both times the driver called her back because she paid $2.50 instead of the $3.50 fare (the bus is a special that crosses the Bay). Both times she accuses him of calling her a thief and a liar. He points to the fare box that electronically reads what is put in, which states that she only paid $2.50.

The old guy in his electric scooter chair, who made a perfect 17-point turn to maneuver into the wheelchair area. I counted.

People who have decided to start riding the bus, but don't find out ahead of time when the bus runs, how much the fare is, or where the stops are, then show up without correct change or b***h and moan the whole ride about what they didn't know and how that's the bus company's fault.

Happily, I normally don't have to ride the neighborhood bus, because those stories would be a lot like Andara's.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"Then, they proceeded to sit there, smoking joints, while waiting for their bus. "

I've said it before and I'll say it again. This right here, my friends, is in a nutshell why I don't do weed.

"If you're going to be dealing a controlled substance in quantities high enough to be a felony, don't you think you'd keep a slightly lower profile?"

Well, it's called "dope" for a reason.

[DesignFox]

I took mass transit for a good period of time in college. Fortunately, not too many are horribly memorable...but there was this gem...

This was months after 9/11, but still recent enough that it was in everyone's minds. An obviously homeless guy decides he's gonna plop his smelly ass in the seat right next to me. (there are other open spots...I'm thinking...wee great).

I try to ignore the smelly, sweaty, old man as he tries to give me some sob story about 9/11 (clearly this guy never worked in the building- maybe begged for change in front of it, and that's a long shot at best). He's begging me for change...I ignore him for as long as I can, but am finally forced to give an answer. I politely tell him that I have no change to give him. I continue to ignore him as he mutters. I keep watch out of the corner of my eye...

Finally, the train gets to it's stop, and I go to get off. I quickly try to mingle in with a small cluster of people to get away from this guy, and keep away as I think this guy's crazy.

You ever get that "hair raised on the back of your neck" feeling...well, this disgusting waste of humanity comes up behind me and whispers something about being a "f*cking C-word" in my ear....

Thankfully, he didn't touch me (though he was close enough to make me check my belongings later), and there were other people around...

--------------------------------

The other most memorable one is from when my BF took the train down late at night to see me.

He was in a car with a guy that was holding a box...and barking at it...