Brats - warning, long

[Mighty Girl]

Ok, this is SO not my week, or month for that matter. All I need to do is leave the house and I'm smacked in the face by how many inconsiderate mouthy people there are. I'm going to try to start over tomorrow and hope for the best.

I'll try to block out today's event from memory.

Today's clusterf**k started when I went to this high-end consignment shop to look at some used children's books. I took my daughter with me. All was going well until super brat arrived. I swear, that little snot (about 6 or 7 yrs old) should have a cape with a big "B" on it. This shop also had toys and other stuff, so my daughter was looking at the toys when SB, chimney mom and snaggletooth grandma walk in.

Superbrat (SB) gets promptly abandoned and picks out a toy she wants, then tells me her mom taught her how to buy things and she want to buy something. Now- I could not be dressed more casually without causing a scene. Gray t-shirt, athletic capri pants, flip flops, ponytail, no makeup, and a big ass purse attached to me. I gently tell her that I don't work there, and keep looking around. So then SB tells me to let her know when the shop girl returns to the register. I ignored her- can't very well tell off a child- and resume browsing.

For some reason, SB is carrying like 5 toys with her. So when she sets them down, DD can't tell which toys are hers vs. the store's. Sure enough, she picks one of SB's toys up by mistake and SB immediately runs over to me to tell me. So I figure the girl must either be slow or just likes to rile people up, so I ask DD to give back the toy, then suggest that SB keep HER toys away from the others so future mistakes can be avoided. And I remind her that DD has ears that work JUST FINE and she can just ask her herself to put down her toys....nicely.

So I finished up and am at the counter, and I ask my daughter to put away anything she's disturbed (she's amazingly good about that) and come up while I pay for our stuff. For some unknown reason, SB has decided that my daughter will be her new friend. (I don't freakin think so). So she keeps telling my daughter- in a voice loud enough that I can hear her- to keep playing while I pay.
Needless to say, I'm not amused. So I tell DD again to come up, at this point I just want to extricate my daughter from the clutches of evil. So she comes up, but SB comes with her. So then she starts telling my daughter (btw, 4 yrs old) to look at some stuff by the counter, then she tells her to pick up something and open it. So, naturally she's got my full attention now and I notice she's instructing my daughter to open a candy bar. And my little one would never suspect that some KID would tell her to do something wrong, she knows not to talk to strange adults- but I did not foresee this (my bad). So I told her to put it down and not pick anything up and in fact, to just stand right beside me for the rest of the time. So what does SB do? She comes over too and stands right beside my daughter.



This was a little learning experience for me. I've encountered countless a$$holes, but they were all adults, or at least teenagers. I'm not allowed to smack other people's kids, regardless of how much they need it, and I'm standing there, and I have no idea what to do. SB's parents,etc. obviously didn't give a crap, they were at least 40 feet away blathering on about how you should be allowed to smoke and chew tobacco in stores.

So, this was probably really mean of me.............but I did it anyway. Flame away.

I squatted down so I was eye-level with DD, looked SB straight in the eyes while holding DD's hand and said, "That kid is telling you to do things that will get you in trouble, and she knows it, you're not allowed to play with her ever again. Don't listen to her anymore. She's not a friend". DD said ok, she understood.

SB's eyes got HUGE and she sulked away.

After this whole fiasco went down, we had another "event" occur (rude adults this time) at the grocery store, and then we went to the playground where upon it started to rain fiercely not more than 4 minutes after we got out of the car.

If this is what my week is going to be like, I'm sticking close to home.

[myswtghst]

I don't think it was mean at all. I think SB was just shocked someone called her out on her actions. Though, given the way her elders were acting, I'm guessing she's used to causing a scene to get attention.

[Mighty Girl]

Thanks I was just so beyond ticked off, if it would have been an adult, or even someone over the age of 13, I would have ripped them a new one (verbally only, of course), but WTH do you do when it's a kid? And it drives me nuts when other people's kids start following us around, I just want to yell, "You don't know me, I could be a pedophile and your kid is happily following me around while you're nowhere to be seen!!"

Plus, I NEVER let DD take a bunch of toys with her into stores- maybe one toy that definitely looks like it's been "broken in" so there's no doubt that we're not trying to steal anything. Maybe I'm paranoid, but it's worked so far. This kid had a hand-me-down adult's purse (covered in fake fur, obviously someone's nightclub purse from the 70's) full of piddly little crap- a play phone, a stuffed animal, plus some other stuff. And we were in a consignment shop, so the stuff was "gently used". How on earth is the clerk supposed to know the difference between what the kid brought and what was in the store already- or maybe that's the point........

I'm very disgusted with people right now. I can totally see myself weeding out DD's friends when she starts school in a couple of years. Last thing I need is THAT kind of influence on my child.

[XCashier]

I'm very disgusted with people right now. I can totally see myself weeding out DD's friends when she starts school in a couple of years. Last thing I need is THAT kind of influence on my child.

I think with this incident, your daughter might understand the difference between a friend and a manipulator, and learn to sort them out herself. Good job.

[Shabo]

I think with this incident, your daughter might understand the difference between a friend and a manipulator, and learn to sort them out herself. Good job.

Indeed. If you raise your daughter correctly, which it sounds like you are doing, then she won't want to hang out with people like SB, and you won't need to tell her who she can and can't hang out with.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I don't think you were sucky at all.

You told your daughter something she needed to hear, and you also told the other kid something she needed to hear.

That may be the only time it was ever suggested to that child that her behavior was inappropriate. Not only that, but you delivered up instant and appropriate consequences to go with it.

Awesome. I will remember this for later, for when my daughter is older and I might need to recall this lesson. I hope, given the same situation, that I am as level headed as you.

[BookstoreEscapee]

You told your daughter something she needed to hear, and you also told the other kid something she needed to hear.

Not only that, but you told SB without "telling" her directly, so she couldn't go running to mommy saying you were mean to her!

[Rahmota]

Wow excellent job on that. Too many people would have just ignored the situation until it blew up into a mega cloud of unpleasantness. Good job on being able to dispense parental influence on both parties.

I dont allow my kids to take their toys into the store for a variety of reasons, its usually for the best.

[powerboy]

I applaud the way you handled that.

[JustADude]

Good job on being able to dispense parental influence on both parties.

Another vote on the list here. Great job handling the situation. Me, I would've walked SB back over to the parents and asked them if they knew what could happen to a young girl left on her own... after handing her over, of course.

It's better for a kid to get an overly harsh upbringing than NO upbringing. Of course, it's best that they get the kind of upbringing MG is giving.

[Primer]

I squatted down so I was eye-level with DD, looked SB straight in the eyes while holding DD's hand and said, "That kid is telling you to do things that will get you in trouble, and she knows it, you're not allowed to play with her ever again. Don't listen to her anymore. She's not a friend". DD said ok, she understood.

SB's eyes got HUGE and she sulked away.

MG, all I can say is, !

[ThePhoneGoddess]

I'm glad you weren't unnecessarily mean to the girl, you did exactly what you should have done, which was direct your comments to your daughter instead of the girl, which might have made you look like a meanie to your daughter. Her behavior sounded like she had real problems getting attention from her family.

I knew a girl growing up who lived with her Dad. He was nice to her but he was a good ol' boy, and all he was interested in was drinking at the bar and betting on baseball. Other girls parents were really mean to her, because she was so starved for female attention she would follow other girls mothers around, clinging to them, begging shamelessly for attention and acting out. Her behavior was really annoying but even at that age I understood it wasn't her fault and I felt sorry for her. SB reminds me a lot of that girl.