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  • Chili Cookoff Blues

    This doesn't qualify as full-blown suck, because of the circumstances surrounding it, but there's suck to be seen, no question.

    A bit of backstory: My mother is a chili cook. She goes to ICS chili cookoffs fairly regularly throughout the year, and ends up going to the ICS world championship every year. Her husband has actually won the ICS championship with a batch of chili he screwed up on. She's been cooking long enough that she now runs several cookoffs (Note that this is an important detail).

    I'm not much of a cook, myself. I can handle myself OK, but chili isn't something I go for - when I was a child, it made me throw up, so I've never really gotten to the point of adding it to my list of foods I like to eat.

    Mom invited me along to some cookoffs a few years back for the company and my general carrying capacity (Hyaa, mule!). After a few cookoffs, she asked if we (Andara and I) would like to help judge the chili. At first, I wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the idea, but I figured, what the hell - I practically have a cast-iron stomach these days, so I may as well give it a try.

    I turn out to be a pretty good judge, partly because I'm not a chilihead, and I don't have any preconceived notions about what the chili should be like. There are some judging guidelines, but that's all they are - guidelines. I'm invited to come judge any time I'm available.

    Fast forward to last year. Mom had a cookoff that she was running. One of my cousins was cooking in the cookoff, and I helped out with menial tasks, mostly setting up, lifting, carrying, and serving her People's Choice chili to passersby. I do some judging, and when the day ends, my cousin has won People's Choice for the day. It's not a small prize (it's actually more cash than the official competition!).

    Any chili left over from judging the competition chili is still on the tables. The original cooks are encouraged to take theirs home, but few of them ever do. Once it's clear that the cooks aren't clearing their cups, anyone can take the rest of the chili. Mom suggests that I take whatever I can, and use it as a base for People's Choice chili. I spend the next hour filling quart-sized bags with competition chili, both red and green, and putting them in an ice chest.

    The next day, we set up, and I start making People's Choice with the chili that was taken the previous day. I add beans to it (Competition chili can't have beans, pasta, or any other filler; People's Choice must have beans), and keep stirring it regularly. Whenever it runs low, I add more chili from a random bag. I keep up a constant line of patter for the customers, and generally use what salesmanship I have.

    At the end of the day, my cousin wins the Red chili top prize, and there's some muttering in the crowd. I win People's Choice, and the announcement is met with silence. I walk up, claim my prize, and walk back into the crowd. Although the lack of crowd reaction felt a little odd, I didn't really think too much of it - I had money! I gave a good chunk of the winnings to my cousin (I was using her stove, pots, and propane), and that should have been the end of that.

    We're having dinner that night, and I overhear cooks at nearby tables bitching about it. The phrases, "He's not a cook," and, "it must have been rigged - he's HER son," float through the air. The fact that my cousin won People's Choice one day and the main event the next day adds fuel to it, but I seem to be the main target of bitching. One of the more reasonable cooks comes over and discusses the matter with Mom, who sets things straight for them.

    Now, there are a few things to remember here:

    * This is People's Choice chili that we're talking about. The winner is determined by votes of random passersby who have paid $1 for the privilege of wandering around the cookoff with a cup and spoon, sampling chili from anyone who has a People's Choice pot.
    * The chili that I used was freely available to any chili cook who wanted it, and it's a widely held opinion among cooks that the truly best chili is a blend of the top chilis at a competition. Mom suggested that I let anyone who wanted chili from the judging tables have first pick over me - I wasn't cherry-picking, I was sweeping the leftovers.
    * We had a good location - we were right across from the ticket booth.

    Okay, that's the suckiness. There are a few mitigating factors. My mom was in charge of the cookoff, my aunt (not my cousin's mom) was in charge of the People's Choice ballots (both handing them out and counting them), and my cousin and I were big winners for the weekend. Furthermore, I'm not a registered ICS cook, which means that I can't cook win in Competition Red, Green, or Salsa (Non-ICS judges can turn in cups, but can't be awarded the right to go to the World Championship unless they pay their ICS dues immediately, on the spot).

    There have been problems at other cookoffs in the past where, despite the double-blind method of judging that should prevent cheating, the judges have played favorites, and fudged the numbers to make someone who "shouldn't" win lose to someone who actually didn't win. That's been exposed and dealt with, but the stigma does still remain.

    From the outside, that can clearly look like there was nepotism going on. However, my aunt is as anal and by-the-book as they come - she was an accountant before becoming a Contracts Administrator (She has finished law school, but hasn't passed the Bar). She wouldn't cheat for her own son, much less me. Likewise, my mom is a real straight arrow, and anyone who knows her should know this. She doesn't go out of her way to insult people, but when people drop a problem in her lap (part of her job as a Family Law attorney, now retired), she tells them what they need to do to fix the problem, period. She doesn't try to come up with the most winning solution - she tries to come up with the most right solution, even if that means telling people that they're being jackasses.

    And finally, the head scorekeeper for these cookoffs (not related to any of us at all) is someone who gets pissed if anyone even suggests that there's been any hanky-panky. She's thrown pots at people who asked her to fudge the numbers, and she doesn't mind telling people to fuck off.

    I think it's mostly blown over by now, but that same cookoff is coming up in a few months...
    Last edited by Nekojin; 08-14-2007, 05:27 PM.

  • #2
    In the interest of transparency, most competitions have a rule that people related to the organizers/judges can't be considered in the contest. That should be basic common sense. I'd have to agree with the gripers that it really isn't a good idea to have family members competing.

    That being said, no, you did nothing wrong. It's simply that people take these things way more seriously. (wtf - competition chili can't have BEANS???? what is chili without beans!!!?????)
    GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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    • #3
      Quoth tollbaby View Post
      (wtf - competition chili can't have BEANS???? what is chili without beans!!!?????)
      I agree on this point. Chili w/o beans is hot dog chili, to be consumed on it's own, it must have copious amounts of beans and meat.
      The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

      Comment


      • #4
        Competition chili isn't allowed to have filler of any kind - you're not supposed to be judging the beans, pasta, or whatever else people like to add to fill out the base, just the chili and meat.

        That said, competition chili is rather different in other ways from what most people think of as chili. Competition chili should have an even blend of front and back heat, and the heat should fade smoothly and fairly quickly. Lots of people with no competition experience bring in "Uncle Fester's Fireball Chili," and wonder why they end up scoring no points. Heat's good - but too much is too much.

        Tollbaby: As I understand it, the ICS used to have rules like that, but uptight members bitched about it until it got changed - the same sort of people who complain when someone else's relatives win.

        Seriously, there's a clique (or two or three) of chili cooks who think that any time someone other than "one of the good cooks" (IE, part of their clique) wins, it's a conspiracy, setup, rigged, etc. You should have heard the brouhaha when mom's husband won the World Championship in his first year of cooking.

        It's not "legit" unless the winning cook has spent years making the same crappy chili and not winning, I guess.

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        • #5
          Guess where I'm going over the weekend. Chili cookoff/ BBQ.
          It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
          ~~~H.L. Mencken

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          • #6
            Quoth tollbaby View Post
            That being said, no, you did nothing wrong. It's simply that people take these things way more seriously. (wtf - competition chili can't have BEANS???? what is chili without beans!!!?????)
            Chili without beans is really good, if done correctly, and you don't have the flatulence problems after.

            My dad makes some wonderful chili, both with and without beans, that pushes the heat right up to the point of being unpleasant, while still being addicting. He uses no hot sauce, just the meat, onions, peppers (bell and chili), and a bit of non-hot spices. Never could get him to enter a competition, though.
            The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
            "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
            Hoc spatio locantur.

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            • #7
              Quoth Geek King View Post
              My dad makes some wonderful chili, both with and without beans, that pushes the heat right up to the point of being unpleasant, while still being addicting. He uses no hot sauce, just the meat, onions, peppers (bell and chili), and a bit of non-hot spices.
              I want some.
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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              • #8
                Well, I guess i was just raised on chili with beans, so I'm used to it that way. Now, I prefer black beans to kidney beans or cannellini beans, but meh. It still needs beans. And corn. And fresh jalapenos (I don't use bell peppers because I can't digest them). But my mother still thinks I'm crazy for using fresh, unpeeled tomatoes instead of canned LOL I'm sorry, I just prefer to EAT my tomato peels. I don't use hot sauce either, just fresh jalapenos, MAYBE a jar of my own homemade pickled jalapenos (if I want to make REALLY HOT chili), and red chili pepper flakes (and steak cubes, not ground beef... I want meat I can bite into!).

                My favorite though, and I don't know why I've never really considered this chili, because it is, is the white chili with chicken that I make for Christmas.
                GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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                • #9
                  i cant stand chili by its self in my mind all chili must be served with corn bread, its how i was raised, it just wrong any other way...

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Nekojin View Post
                    That said, competition chili is rather different in other ways from what most people think of as chili. Competition chili should have an even blend of front and back heat, and the heat should fade smoothly and fairly quickly. Lots of people with no competition experience bring in "Uncle Fester's Fireball Chili," and wonder why they end up scoring no points. Heat's good - but too much is too much.
                    When I read this, I got the image of people taste-testing chili as if it were a fine whiskey or wine--complete with comparing colour and subtlies in the odour.
                    I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

                    Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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                    • #11
                      Trust me, they take it every bit as seriously (but something tells me they're not QUITE as snobbish LOL). My aunt has taken a series of wine-tasting courses.... it's quite interesting if you can find an instructor who isn't an insufferable snob (hers wasn't).
                      GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Spiffy McMoron View Post
                        When I read this, I got the image of people taste-testing chili as if it were a fine whiskey or wine--complete with comparing colour and subtlies in the odour.
                        Um, Spiffy...


                        That's EXACTALY what they do!
                        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                        Hoc spatio locantur.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          [QUOTE=Spiffy McMoron;174405complete with comparing colour and subtlies in the odour. [/QUOTE]
                          Just remember, Swish, and Spit!
                          "I call murder on that!"

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