This was too funny to pass up...

[MadMike]

I do enjoy going shopping on the weekends before Christmas, and see how many people I can get to follow me back to my car. Becuase what I usually do so I don't have to carry alot around the mall, is after every purchase or two, take them out to the car and go back in.

I've done that before as well. I'd shop in the mall until my stuff was getting to be too much to carry, and then I'd run it out to the car. Naturally, someone would follow me out, wait patiently while I opened the trunk, unloaded everything, and then closed the trunk and walked back into the mall.

Another fun thing is to walk up the wrong aisle, then dart over the two or three aisles to where your car is parked and see if the person is going to try to race over there before anyone else can.

I did better than that back in my college days. I'd often go to the mall on Sundays, which was the only day I had completely to myself. As I'd leave the mall, sometimes someone would start following me in the car, all the way up the aisle, and to the end of the parking lot, where I'd keep walking. What these people didn't know was that I didn't even own a car. I used to walk the three miles from the dorm to the mall, and back.

[iradney]

I actually had a similar experience a couple days ago.
I went and bought a new casserole (old one broke ) and they didn't have big enough bags to put it in. So I walked to my car, and put it in the trunk. Someone saw me load a box in my trunk, and must've thought I was getting ready to leave. The look I got after I closed it and walked off nearly made my skin bubble...
Thats why you should never assume, deary...

[Dreamstalker]

There's a small parking lot behind some of the stores downtown. I will sometimes cut through there as it's generally slightly faster to get where I'm going.

I've had a few of the vehicular vultures stalk me as well. One lady actually screamed at me: "That's your car! You're leaving, right?" only to curse up a storm when I continued on the sidewalk. The first time this happened, I was ten (mmkay, I clearly do not drive and you're asking me if you can have my parking spot).

[tollbaby]

I figured that man was being an ass for holding up traffic. He saw me coming from the mall and he saw me get in my car. He HAD to wait for me to leave.....he just couldn't park a few spots away or down another aisle. It had to be right there. That's annoying.

It's annoying, yes, but I personally don't feel that entitles you to be sucky in return. Like begets like, after all.

[Polenicus]

I have THE BEST parking story EVER.

Okay, a little background. This is Boxing Day of last year... for those of you not Canadian, Boxing Week, and Boxing Day in particular, is the day when everyone rushes to the Mall to pick over the leftover junk that no one wanted at full price. It's almost a tradition, so me and my friends went, despite my reservations.

Now, my friend drives a Mid-sized SUV. Not huge, but fully capable of blocking a lane of traffic in a parking lot. The three other cars involved in this were all mid-sized sedans. Not a compact or sub-compact in sight.

We were trolling the top level of the parkade for a spot when we turned down the lane and had to stop. One person coming in the opposite direction was camping a spot, as the person in the spot was backing out. Person camping was crowding the person backing out, so it was going a little slow. My friend stopped a couple of carlengths away to give them room, effectively blocking the traffic lane, and waited for the blockage to clear so we could resume our hunt.

Enter the Woman of Testicular Fortitude!

Seriously, I know she didn't have them (She was a tiny oriental lady) but they must have been huge regardless.

This lady pulled off the single most impressive, ballsy and outright insulting feat of parking I have ever seen.

She quietly slipped between my friend and the other parked cars. Now, we didn't think this was possible... My friend saw her behind him, saw she was moving to steal, and intentionally stayed put. He didn't move to block her, but he didn't move out of her way either (We knew she'd just snarl things up worse and get us stuck). Somehow she found the space anyway. I suspect quantum physics were involved. She slipped by us smoothly, dodged INSIDE the car backing out, somehow pulled a sharper turn than should be physically possible with the car she was driving, and slotted into the slot right in front of the camper, all in the space of about two seconds.

There was the collective sound of jaws hitting the floorboards from all three cars.

Naturally camper guy went BALLISTIC. He had been waiting for that spot, had been signalling, and had been turning in to park when she slipped in. She somehow navigated the obstacle course and pulled her impossibly tight turn in the time it took a normal drive with a completely clear shot to even start moving. How she avoided hitting anything is anyone's guess. And she was parked straight and true, right in the center of the spot.

We just kind of shook our heads and marvelled at this act of Massive Scrotum-ness as we drove off, leaving what was likely to be a scene of violence behind us quickly so we wouldn't be witnesses and have to testify.

[Bella_Vixen]

We just kind of shook our heads and marvelled at this act of Massive Scrotum-ness as we drove off, leaving what was likely to be a scene of violence behind us quickly so we wouldn't be witnesses and have to testify.

I would have paid to see that, and I think it would have been an honor to testify if the need came up.

[wagegoth]

Polenicus: I would have been tempted to hang out and wait to see what happened. Cable TV and the Internet just don't provide that live entertainment we all crave.

If the parking lot is fairly empty, then I'm not going to bother to rush to leave. But I'm not going to drag out the process either.

If the parking lot is jammed and I have a good spot, then I'll signal someone (especially if they look older or frail or have kids with them). If I'm just dropping stuff in my trunk and I notice someone following me, I shake my head, "No," and mouth, "Not leaving."

What's the big deal? We always talk about courtesy on this board, it wouldn't hurt to apply some ourselves.

There is one time I will troll for a close parking space: it's when I have the kids with me. In that case, I really want/need a parking spot near a walkway, even if it's not near a door, just so I can get the kids away from the psycho drivers in the lot as quickly as possible.

[radiocerk]

xmas eve

I used to work at a mall in Southern California. I once encountered the definition of SoCal yuppie lady (sports car, perfectly coiffed hair). She drove stright up to the front of the mall and called out to the crowd exiting, "I'll give someone $100 for their parking space."
To this day, I can't figure out if she had somewhere to be, or was just impatient.

[Lostfiniel]

My mom and I have our favorite little japanese food restaurant we like to go to now and then. The parking lot is a decent size and it rarely fills up. There have been numerous times when we will be driving over there and as we go by the front of the gym, someone wrecklessly cuts us off to get a good parking spot right near the front. We don't even park in that area. When they get out of the car they are in their work-out clothes complete with towel, water bottle and ipod.

I guess the plan on treadmilling so much they can't waste the extra dozen feet or so to get to the gym

[blas]

That always boggles my mind too. Especially at places like Curves and other local gyms. Isn't the point to work out and not park as close as possible? They must get tired awfully fast.