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  • Raisins!

    Okay, this story isn't exactly sucky, but I felt it was worth sharing.

    I was a store that rhymes with "spears", specifically in their "hands bend" section, when I overheard an employee on the phone to security. Apparently, someone had gone and done a number two by the shoes. (They have to call security, since its a biohazard)

    A few minutes later, I was down by the shoes, and I saw the excrement on the floor- two tiny pieces of it, in the middle of an aisle. One of the employees walks over, bends down, takes a look, and announces:

    "Its raisins!"

    Everyone begins chuckling, and the employees look EXTREMELY relieved.

    Another thing that I heard, after the employee who was on the phone got off, was that security was very slow to respond... including when there was a fire at the main entrance to the store...

    Though, thank god that it turned out to be what it was, considering what I've read on here about people fouling up the bathrooms with excrement...
    The customer is NEVER right! Unless they're nice...

  • #2
    Last year, some vandals threw a pile of what looked like poop onto my front step on Devil's Night (October 30th - do other countries have this horrid tradition too?)

    Before I took a good look, I got back into my car, drove across the street to the grocery store, bought latex gloves and industrial strength garbage bags, and came home. I suited up, went over to the mess, bent over holding my breath, and...

    ..raisins.

    Serves me right for freaking out first and evaluating the problem second.

    Still a sucky thing to do to someone, though.

    If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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    • #3
      Just how exactly do raisins look like poop?

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Bright_Star View Post
        Just how exactly do raisins look like poop?
        Rabbit/gerbil/other small mammal droppings?
        Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

        http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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        • #5
          All that drama over an itty bitty pile of poop?.....lol.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Bright_Star View Post
            All that drama over an itty bitty pile of poop?.....lol.
            Still poop, and therefore capable of hosting a wide variety of interesting infectious diseases which most stores don't have the proper equipment available to clean up. And "itty bitty"? There could have been several days/animals worth of feces.
            Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

            http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Bright_Star View Post
              Just how exactly do raisins look like poop?
              In my case, the vandals had basically formed a poop-shaped "sculpture" out of raisins.

              In the OP's case, I suspect it was just the store employees doing as instructed to do for safety reasons - don't get too close, call security immediately, etc. At a glance, raisins could definitely look like a bio-hazard.

              If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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              • #8
                Quoth Boozy View Post
                Devil's Night (October 30th - do other countries have this horrid tradition too?)
                Not that I know of. Certainly when I was a kid going trick or treating in costume (in the Home Counties, i.e. just outside London, UK), I had to explain to people what halloween was, most of the locals refused to buy into what was seen as an only american tradition, and that's if they understood/had heard of it.
                Now November the 5th, that's a very different ball game.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Broomjockey View Post
                  Rabbit/gerbil/other small mammal droppings?
                  Yeah, thats just about what it looked like. Both the raisins appeared to be stuck together...
                  The customer is NEVER right! Unless they're nice...

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                  • #10
                    This reminds me of when I was 14 or so. My mom, sister & I are all deathly scared of any type of bug that has ever been created. (Don't know why, but I HATE bugs).

                    One day my sister had been up in her room, playing the NES, and was eating raisins. Apparently unbeknowst to her, one fell on the floor.

                    A week later, she's playing the NES again, and there is this blood-curdling, best-B-horror-movie-scream evahr. My sister is hopping up and down, screaming, my mom and I get to her room at the same time. My mom starts to hyperventilate. I have to be the mature one, and I go get some toilet tissue to pick up the bug.

                    It was not a bug - it was a raisin. All this screaming and hyperventilating over a raisin. Oh well, it's an embarassing story I can tell everyone who knows my sister.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Boozy View Post
                      Last year, some vandals threw a pile of what looked like poop onto my front step on Devil's Night (October 30th - do other countries have this horrid tradition too?)
                      In my area its called "Moving Night" and anything on your porch or in your yard is fair game to be moved (porch furniture put in a pile on your lawn, etc). It is also when windows get soaped and cars get egged.
                      Last year some inventive little fcukers buttered all my car windows. At least soap washes off, butter just smears all over the place and ruins windshield wipers, too.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Boozy View Post
                        At a glance, raisins could definitely look like a bio-hazard.


                        As far as I'm concerned, they ARE a biohazard.

                        I HATE raisins! In things or naked, they're one of the most vile creations...


                        And don't get me started on bananas or tuna fish...
                        Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

                        Proverbs 22:6

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                        • #13
                          Quoth thegiraffe View Post
                          tuna fish...
                          Remember, you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!

                          Okay... how about "Why do people always say tuna fish? Isn't there only one kind of tuna? Is someone ever in the diner, and goes 'oh, geez, that sandwich was horrible, I shouldn't have gotten the tuna horse!"

                          Aaaanywho, I've gone through periods of disliking both tuna and bananas, so I know what you're talking about. Bananas still make me gag if I don't take small bites, or I chew too long.
                          Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                          http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Boozy View Post
                            ...Devil's Night (October 30th - do other countries have this horrid tradition too?)
                            I'm in the North West of England and we do have "Devil's Night" only it's known as Mischief Night. Eggs thrown at windows. Toilet paper strewn in the trees...yeah, it all happens here. But as scruff said, Halloween is a bit different in the UK...some people really get into the spirit...others see it as more of an American tradition.

                            November 5th is a lot more troublesome. Bonfire Night is a nightmare.
                            ~a lass unparallel'd~

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                            • #15
                              We call it Mischief Night in my neck of the woods (woods? do they still exist?). Not much goes on in my neighborhood, though. Last (only) time my car got egged was on New Years Day this year whilst parked outside my aunt's house on her very quiet street ().

                              -ams- <who had a tuna sandwich for dinner>
                              I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                              I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                              It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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