Typical small redneck towns...

[Rahmota]

Tis ok Blas. In many ways I think your post just happened to be the straw that broke the camels back tonight. There's been stuff going on in the real world that havent helped my stress levels and my mellow has been very harshed lately.

*sigh* But that was no excuse for me going off on you like that over a perceptual difference. I'll admit when i go to the city I'm a definate fish out of water. Put me in a 3k armani and I'll still be just a big farm boy. Thing is I've accepted that is me and am proud of that and comfortable with it. People can take me or leave me for me not what I'm wearing and if they cant then *shrug*

To try and say somethign I said earlier only more politely. Maybe you and your friends where being checked out because the people in the diner had encountered some less than polite individuals before. Also there is a bit of difference in what people in the country call dressed up and what city peopel call dressed up. I know in my sunday best its a polo shirt and khakis with dress shoes. The only time a full suit comes out is easter, christmas funerals or weddings. Anythign else and you're a bit over dressed.

Smalltown america life revolves around one major word: Practical. If its practical its good. And yeah there are a lot of people who may use racial slurs and be stupid like that but that isnt everyone in the country. Believe it or not we dont like those kind of people much more than anyone else does.

I dont know if there is enough bandwidth on the internet to describe why country life is a better life to me. I tried to get away from it and get a big corporate job and be all that. You know what it got me 2 bleeding ulcers a cardiac event and downsized. Coming back to the farm I got healthier I can look out my kitchen window and see captain bucky the white tailed deer and his harem in my front yard. I love it and am glad I came back to my heritage, my life and my blood.

Anyhow I could go on about how bad and horrible I see the city is and how much better the country is. Its the way our perceptions differ. I would rather burn in hades realm than live in a city as Hades would be more comfortable to me. My heart body and spirit belong to the country. I am a redneck and a good ol boy and a farmer and I am proud to wear my jeans and john deere cap and drive my dodge truck at 5mph down the road.

What I'm saying is Apology accepted. I'm cool with you if you're cool with me. And that the world is a big enough place that we can all find our own little corner of happiness without bashing someone elses. Okay? Peace.

[blas]

You know I'm cool with all of you

It really doesn't help that I was already in a huffy mood and pretty closed minded to begin with, because I was angry that my bf had ambushed me and just showed up and said "We're going to Yeehawville to meet my brother". I've never had good luck meeting guy's families, because, like I said, with so many people used to always being casual (think how I dress at work, jeans and tshirts, etc) seeing me always makes them say "Get rid of that trampy city girl this instant!" or "Why does she look like that?" or "Has that girl ever heard of a tshirt?"

Probably my own fault that I was cranky to begin with, and just seeing people stare at me made my blood boil. I was extremely nervous that at any second my boyfriend's brother was going to say something.

[Ree]

AWWWWW....I'm feelin' the love.

Thanks, kids. I'm proud of you.

[MystyGlyttyr]

My first thought on this was "Ha, these guys would laugh if they knew what I got stared at for down where I live." The kids at my school were terrified of me for wearing a dress shirt to school. They thought I was a vampire. Seriously. Where I live is not precisely "welcome to the new millenium" area. There are still "hanging trees" within the vicinity. Face facts, it's not all of them, but there are still a LOT of small towns that are extremely backwards, even by the most accepting standards.

I lived in one particular small town where I literally had to dodge bottles for wearing one fishnet sleeve. That was it. Otherwise completely blended in with the populace...jeans, shirt, whatever. But I put one little net sleeve on my arm as an accessory and suddenly I'm the Antichrist. (I know, they yelled that at me from their cars when they drove by and threw holy water. )

But then again, when me and my friend Becca went to Nashville, Tennessee, and there she was with an orange mohawk and tattoos in the middle of the big city, there were still people who RAN to get away from her. You would think in a city the size of NASHVILLE, someone would have seen an orange mohawk before. So large towns ain't immune.

Life Lesson 1. Idiots be everywhere.

[Der Cute]

Ok Blas, my story :P

One night long time ago (about 4 dress sizes at least) I was in San Diego with a buddy of mine.

I had purchased a nice silky blue dress with a see-through blue wrap. I even purchased new shoes! Woohoo! I dressed up in this and put makeup on....and went out to dinner @ Olive Garden w/ my friend.

Heh, his MOM kept pestering him to put nice clothes on, and even nagged him when he put a shirt on that "didn't go with her dress" lol..

We showed up and got our little reservation call-gadget ..the one that blinks when you're up... But while waiting I felt like all the women AND men were looking at me. My friend definitely was looking!!! lol..

I just kept getting the slack-jaw look from men. Personally, I did feel self-concious..but I also got "softer" treatment from the staff...In my opinion, dressing up got me different treatment from the people who were in casual /jeans etc. I even asked my friend if I was dressing too scantily (but when would a man say Yes You Are Go Get Clothing On ..heheh)

We had a good time, but I'll be honest, I rather prefer jeans, t-shirts, no makeup and less fuss. (less fuss = more sleep for me)

Cutenoob

[myswtghst]

I do feel for you, Blas. I'm the type who likes to get all done up when I go out, be it glam or goth, and thanks to my college time spent hanging out with the punk/metal/hardcore kids, I can frighten old people with the way I occasionally rock out my style. When I lived in MI, it was easy to go from the farming community to the rock clubs to the ghetto and back to preppieville, all in 30 minutes of driving or less, and there were definitely nights I picked the wrong "style" for our destination and seemed to be the show all by myself.

I always chalk it up like this--I love to be dressed that way and still be my sweet, polite, charming self, just to show people you can't judge a book by its cover, and even though I'm rocking all my piercings, plenty of eyeliner, 5" heels and some leather, I can still take a shot of whiskey with the boys, hold the door for others, and sing along to a country song.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

I find the comments on this thread very interesting. I have had a lot of experiences very similar to Blas', and it's hard to know where my feelings about it go. I lived in suburban Cali until I was 13, then my parents moved us to a very rural, very religious part of Idaho. It was like night and day. My family all loved it, in fact they all still live in the area. I was very unhappy there, and left as soon as I could and never looked back.

First, I have noticed that small towns can be different depending on where they are. Small towns within say, a hundred miles of a major metropolitan area tend to be much more welcoming. They are used to seeing odd looking people pass through and will often be nice as long as the 'outsiders' are nice back. Small towns that are not anywhere near a metropolitan area, though, seem to be completely different. They often have no experience seeing real urbanites---as opposed to what they see on TV, which we all know is not the way people really are---so when they do see them in their town they tend to stare. The town I went to high school in is like that, it's really out in the boonies, and whenever I visit my sister I feel like a zoo exhibit, no matter how 'normal' I try to look. Her husband's family is so afraid of me they can't really talk to me, they just gape at me whenever I'm around.

Second, many small town people can tell you stories about yuppies (I hate them as much as you do, Blas) who have mistreated them. Traveling yuppies will often come through a small town in their big SUV, stop to get food or gas, and just be incredibly condescending to whoever they encounter. I've seen it with my own eyes. They give urbanites a bad name in many rural towns, and so the locals look quite rightly with suspicion on someone who is obviously from a city.

Third, I firmly believe, from my experiences in both small towns and big cities, that we are talking about two completely different cultures here. I got into an argument once online with a guy who claimed that 'white'culture (as he defined it) was dead. I told him that (his idea of) 'white' culture was actually still quite alive in rural areas, and he basically told me that was not culture, it was just ignorant inbred people who didn't know any better than to 'get with' the times. True rural American culture is it's own distinct thing, very different from the culture you see in the cities and suburbs. It has totally different values and different ideals.

I've had both good experiences and bad experiences visiting (and living) in rural areas. I was once chased out of a diner in BFE, Wyoming, because one of the girls I was with made the mistake of requesting some small modifications to her order because she was a vegetarian. The cook came out and told us that they would not deal with any damn vegetarians because this was cow country and we either ate some meat or we needed to get the hell out of his diner. He waved his knife around threateningly and we fled. I've also had a very kind couple help me when I got stranded while traveling with two flat tires, their son owned the local tire store and they took me there, he opened the place and sold me two tires late at night because there was no where else for me to go.

I guess my point is our perceptions of people are so often colored by experiences that actually have nothing to do with that particular person. In this country we have very distinct stereotypes of rural and urban people, and sometimes we let them get the better of us.

[ArenaBoy]

I forgot to add my story as well. I have family (My mom's family is too #&*$ huge) out in the rural areas of Michigan. The nearest town is about an hour or so away. My cousin who is two years younger than me is well known in his town. His family are involved in the community. About a year ago, I visited them for a family cook-out and pretty much most of the town and family was there. At the time I had long hair, it was just at the point of reaching my shoulders. I overheard someone talking to my uncle, words were "Who is that strange man talking to your son?" My uncle, obviously upset says "That's my nephew." Cracked up right there.

From my experience, the way towns are tend to vary. I've been to tiny towns that have been polite to extremely hostile because my hair happens to be long. And there are cities that I would never visit again because of the idiots I dealt with.

But then again, when me and my friend Becca went to Nashville, Tennessee, and there she was with an orange mohawk and tattoos in the middle of the big city, there were still people who RAN to get away from her. You would think in a city the size of NASHVILLE, someone would have seen an orange mohawk before. So large towns ain't immune.

Nashville is interesting in it's own right. When I was in NYC nobody cares what you look like. I saw a guy with purple hair, a tight shiny shirt, and green pants eating in a upscale cafe and no one was giving him a second glance.

Also: I hate, despise, and loathe yuppies. I had to deal with them too much at the arena.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

My husband is Quebecois, and just became a resident of Washington State. He's now here with me in Redneck, North Central Washington. He is descended from a redheaded Quebecois lady and a mediterranean dad. He is big and has wild, curly, auburn hair.

Here we are mostly hispanic or waspish.

He cannot walk down the street without being catcalled by d*cks (not ducks) in pickups. I tell you, the first few weeks he felt anything but welcome. It was all I could do not to write "thanks for the welcome, Redneck, North Central Washington, in our local rag. People don't like it much--then they print your address.

It's getting better, now that people are used to seeing him. Redheads=aliens.

[Gurndigarn]

Just remember one of the rules of small towns:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0122.html

[wagegoth]

I currently live in one of the largest metropolitan areas in the world, one that's spoken of as being the most liberal, crazy, left-wing, freak show in the world.

I have also lived in the "country" in both California and Nevada.

Both places have things I love and hate about them.

[SuperB]

Interesting.

You will find ignorant people in small towns just as you'll find punks in the city.

But it's more ignorant to assume anything about someone based on geography. Being out in the middle of no where people have made assumptions, similar to the OP, about me based on geography only. When the sum of our conversation consists solely of 'how are you', directions they need and 'here's your change' - it's them I feel sorry for when they make their "hickville" comments. Were I to bring them home with me they'd have been in for quite a shock.

My community doesn't even number 500 but my kids are not lacking in experience. You don't need to live in the city to be exposed to culture and I'd be willing to bet that my husband and I have exposed our kids to more life experiences at their young age than your average city kid.
Let's see, my son's favorite food is lobster...my kids have been involved in both karate, dance and sports, they've been to concerts, shows, art museums, art auctions (my son's choice to attend and I even let him bid a couple of times) and visits to other countries. Living in the mountains the kids have a better understanding of living with nature than a child who lives in the city and simply goes camping on occasion. And we have quite a diverse community with regard to race and income as we have everything from the drug users to some very wealthy neighbors.

And just as ThePhoneGoddess mentions, there are quite a few urbanites that have made me feel extremely happy to live where I do.

[rdp78]

The city I live in has about 92,000 people with a metropolitan population of 300,000 at least and that includes 4 counties (2 were just recently added) as well as another city that has about 25 thousand people. That city is on one side of my city and there is small town of 8 thousand on the other. There is several small towns around in and around the metro area, I think most maybe less then five thousand. I think most are about few miles or so from my city. I've visited a couple of them a few years so don't really remember what the people were like.

The funny even thing living in my city doesn't quite feel well, living in a city because once in awhile we will see deer in the backyard (then again there is a wooded area ajointed to our porpeity) and well, that's not the only place deer show up in our city. I don't know if any other urban location has this problem.

Note: I got those stats from wikipedia (okay, estimates, but I still got to give them credit becuase I was off on some of them)

[JustADude]

And we have quite a diverse community with regard to race and income as we have everything from the drug users to some very wealthy neighbors.

That, right there, is the difference, SuperB. The ones that are "isolated" are the ones where pretty much the whole population fall into the same demographic, and don't get experience with other cultures, values, etc.

That being said, how well would your kids handle a guy decked out in leather and silver Goth gear with his hair died neon blue to match his shirt?

[SuperB]

That, right there, is the difference, SuperB. The ones that are "isolated" are the ones where pretty much the whole population fall into the same demographic, and don't get experience with other cultures, values, etc.

That being said, how well would your kids handle a guy decked out in leather and silver Goth gear with his hair died neon blue to match his shirt?

Heh, same way they handle the local transexual or the crossdresser that just moved away. You'd be interesting for a second and then they'd go back to their DS game.
You could actually be describing my son on occasion. He's yet to go blue (give him time) but he has enjoyed dyeing his hair blond (he's dark) twice, red streaks once as well has a mohawk and a tail. I encourage their personalities provided they don't make permanent marks until they're 18 and behave accordingly. Two of the kids in school were little goth wannabe's last year but my kids aren't into that yet.

We aren't completely isolated though we still deal with the "hickville" comments but geography doesn't put one's head in the sand. That's why categorizing "small towns" as "ignorant" is, well, ignorant for lack of a better word. Those that don't get out and see whats around them wouldn't change that about themselves no matter where they lived and those who live in the city who don't look beyond it to the rural areas aren't any different from the "rednecks" they criticize.