So I almost had to punch someone out...

[Pezzle]

WARNING: This story is full of bad language and EPIC LULZ!

So, it was a Monday night and my boyfriend and I decided we wanted to give 30 Days of Night a spin. It got mixed reviews on rotten tomatoes and so we wanted to make our own review. We of course, made the mistake of going to the 10:30 showing.

We enter the theater and prop our feet up on the bar, since nobody else but us and about 4 young black people (important, for use of the N word to follow) in the last row. Everything seemed alright until the previews started.

One of the young men got on his phone "WTF IS UP MY NIGGA?! SHIT SON IM AT DA MOVIES RIGHT NOW BITCH WHAT A' YOU DOIN!?" loud enough for two theaters to hear. It irked me some, but it was the previews - I dont' care if people talk during the previews... usually. But then EVERYONE started talking and yelling about this that or the other going on in Trenton, cracking jokes about every preview that weren't funny as though there was nobody else in the theater. For instance, when a preview came on for a movie about some hacker, he was like HOLY SHIT SON WTF BE UP WITH DIS SHIT HE BE HACKIN IN HIS CAR WUT and for some reason the two girls would laugh so hysterically hard I was expecting the projector to break.

I whispered very low to my boyfriend "If they do not stop talking by the 2nd minute of the start of the movie, I will go get an employee." and my boyfriend nodded. As the lights went down, they rudely commented on the theater's no cell phone policy. "SILENCE IS GOLDEN SON!" screamed one. The other male yelled in reply "SILENCE IS GOLDEN!? SON BITCH I BEAT SILENCE IN THE ASS! FUCK SILENCE! I DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!" Which really pissed me off.

Now the movie is starting -- they seemed to be settling down, or so I'd hoped. That is until one of them started commenting on EVERY SCENE THAT CAME UP. As in if the camera angle changed, "O SHIT SON WATCH OUT FOR DA VAMPIRES" even though no vampires had come up yet, it was the first minute of the god damned film. This continues on and on until they are yelling at each other because they are talking so loud they can't hear one another.

So I did what any good and slightly annoyed customer would do -- I went out and got a manager.

"Sorry to bug you, but who do I see to get somebody to shut the hell up?" I asked with a slight smirk on my face. I knew this manager from previous visits, my friend from D&D used to work here. In response, she follows me to my theater and grabs a cop to come with her. They all settle down when they peek their heads inside, which give the cop an annoyed face as though I've bothered him somehow. Hey buddy, I'm not the one who asked you to come along. So the appearance of me being an asshole is here now -- it looks like i've just been a bitch and summoned an employee for no reason. She knew the game though.

About five minutes after the trio left, they started talking loudly again. I tolerated it for about five more minutes. During this time my boyfriend glared at them to see if they would get the hint. He then whispered to me in a very low voice, right in my ear: "Are they ever going to shut the fuck up!? This is a movie theater."

That's when they made the biggest mistake of the night.

We heared loud above the movie and everything else:

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU WHITIES WHISPERIN ABOUT DOWN THERE!? WHY NOT MIND YO' OWN FUCKIN' BUSINESS N' STOP GETTIN UP IN MY SHIT!" from one fo the males. The other one joined in: "YEAH SON FUCK YOU!" the girls egging them on. I peered up at them over my seat angrily.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU AND YO FAT ASS BITCH GONNA' DO ABOUT IT!? WE DO WHATEVA' WE WANT!"

Oh. Really? Fat ass bitch?

"YEAH YOU STUPID CUNT! FUCK BOTH YOU WHITIES!"

Oh. Cunt? I mean I'm white, but CUNT!? No.

I stood up in a storm of anger and turned around, shouting at the very top of my lungs:

WHAT THE FUCK!? DO YOU PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF SHUTTING THE -FUCK- UP IN A GOD DAMNED MOVIE THEATER, WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO ENJOY WHAT'S ON THE FUCKING SCREEN!? THIS ISN'T YOUR HOUSE!

Oops. Bad Pezzle.

They then responded in an anticipated fashion:

"CUNT WHAT YOU GONNA DO BOUT IT!?" shouted one of the males, the other shouting FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! over and over like I gave a shit. Then one of the chunky girls stood up "SUG' I WILL STRAIGHT UP FIGHT THAT BITCH! I WILL STRAIGHT UP FUCK HER SHIT FACE UP!" and she's all stomping her feet. Ooh. Scary. Don't mind the fact that I have ex-military sitting next to me, though he was trying to pretend like I wasn't doing anything so he wouldn't possibly involve himself in manslaughter. Which is exactly why I chose to act instead of letting him.

After hearing the call out I yelled up to her, fiery as hell: "IS THAT SO?" I motioned her on with my fingers and started walking outside "YOU BRING IT THE FUCK ON. BUT I'LL TAKE ONE OF YOU WITH ME." I heard her get up from her seat but she didn't move, so I started to walk outside. New Jersey law is a finnicky thing, so I decided against having a brawl without witnesses.

She stopped and said "Yeah you go GIT yo COP FRIEND YOU FUCKIN HO!"

So I did get my cop friend, and he did stand in the theater glaring at you for the rest of the movie, and he did escort you outside because you behaved after I called you out, you bitch. Very interesting how tough you are until I bring the law into the matter. My only wish is that you did attack me, so I could've shown you just what I meant by bring it on.

And how funny is it, that as they were walking out they kept their heads down and pretended like we didn't exist. Looking over their shoulders as though they were worried. Amazing.

Though, now I don't know if I can go into trenton for a while :\

[Shabo]

Yep, I went to see that. I thought the movie was bad. The concept could have been executed brilliantly, but it wasn't. (FWIW, the comic had a much much better plot twist) And I had some dumb girls behind me making comments the whole movie. WTH. Shut up when you go to the movies. JC and a barrel full of monkeys. I don't pay money to get in and listen to you the whole time.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, I predict movie theaters are nearing their expiration date very, very soon.

I dont' go to movies anymore because I can't seem to go to them anymore without getting into a fight with someone. Good for you, though, for not taking it.

Netflix, my friend. Pajamas. Beer. No assholes.

[wagegoth]

We either go out to the valley to the white, middle-class theaters, or we go to the theaters that serve real food and only allow kids on certain days and times because they serve beer and wine. Both theaters toss people as soon as there is a complaint.

I've made myself practice saying cunt, so now anyone can say it to me at any time and it doesn't bother me one bit. I just have to be very careful not to use it casually.

[ditchdj]

Uh why didnt the theater eject them??? If I was insuring them for liability and I heard about what happened I'd drop them like a hot potato! If they jumped you then you could have sued them out of the state for not doing anything to prevent it.

[Pezzle]

Uh why didnt the theater eject them??? If I was insuring them for liability and I heard about what happened I'd drop them like a hot potato! If they jumped you then you could have sued them out of the state for not doing anything to prevent it.

Because people get shot in the parking lot of this theater, which is why there are no less than 3 cops on the property at all times. A threat is nothing to them, which is why they treated me like I was bothering them.

[mariamousie1]

Wow. What wimps. I guess they were trying to intimidate you because they are so easily intimidated themselves.

[JustADude]

Yeah, I predict movie theaters are nearing their expiration date very, very soon.

I dont' go to movies anymore because I can't seem to go to them anymore without getting into a fight with someone. Good for you, though, for not taking it.

Netflix, my friend. Pajamas. Beer. No assholes.

Yeah, but you just can't get the same experience on a home setup (even a 60" screen and 7.1 surround sound) as you can in a full on theater. While the movie 300, for example, is excellent, and I've bought the DVD and watch it repeatedly, nothing will compare to the pure Epic Win of having it plastered up in 90% of my field of vision, hot popcorn and cold soda in my hands, and the soundtrack filling the air to the point I was getting an adrenaline rush during the fight scenes.

[Broomjockey]

Yeah, I predict movie theaters are nearing their expiration date very, very soon.

I doubt that. Studios whined about profits going down for a while, but that's only because they were turning out craptastic movies. That year they keep quoting that profits are down from? That was the best year ever. Profits are still amongst the highest they've ever been. I don't think we'll be seeing the end of theatres in my lifetime, unless there's some very major technological changes.

[blas]

I rarely, if ever, go to the movies anymore. Too many kids (and by kids, I mean teenagers under 17) being allowed into R rated movies. Back in MY day, which was only, oh, 5 years ago, we got carded for R rated movies. Grindhouse was practically rated X, yet it seemed the entire local high school was there.

I get so sick of cell phones and self important stupid kids. The dumbass giggly ditzy girls and the stupid guys that have to make a comment on EVERYTHING the entire fucking movie.

[myswtghst]

I'll go to the theatres for certain big budget action flicks, or movies with killer CGI, stuff that it's worth seeing on the big screen. I'd like to see 30 Days of Night in the theatre, and I went to see Die Hard in the theatres. But any kind of drama/character piece/comedy, I'll wait for Netflix. Especially if I know it's something I'm going to want to MST3K along with, and crack jokes/make comments - I either rent it, buy it, or I'll go see it at an off time (i.e. early afternoon before work w/ my mom) so I don't bother other people in the theatre.

And seriously, go Pezzle. I probably would have been tempted to do the same thing, but I don't know if I'd have stood up and yelled at those idiots the way you did. Way to show em that not everyone will stand for that crap.

[iradney]

South Africans are too polite for that sort of thing. Very rarely have I had issues in a movie theatre with people talking and the like.

Then again, we're also the kind of people that will stand at the butchery counter, quietly waiting for service while the employees ignore them. Which is why the employees act so surprised when, after 5 minutes of obviously waiting for service, and waving at them, I yell "CAN I GET SOME SERVICE PLEASE!!!" </OT>

I'm actually kinda glad we don't have that issue here tho. I think it's because people here all realise we've spent our hard-earned money to get into that flick, so we should shut up and munch our popcorn.

[JuniorMintz]

We either go out to the valley to the white, middle-class theaters...

...a "white" theater?!? The frick?!?

Anyway... way to go Pezzle! I almost got in a fight at a movie too, some bitches talking all through Catwoman, (although I suppose we deserved it since my husband paid money ON PURPOSE to sit through that horrific load of poo knowing full well it was going to be bad.) although from the sound of it your situation was way worse than mine.

[Pezzle]

...a "white" theater?!? The frick?!?

I hate to tell you, but in some parts of the east coast (aka central new jersey) the stereotypes, 9 times out of 10, are true. Trenton is one of the scariest places I've ever lived, and said theater is a big contested piece of gang territory amongst the Bloods, Crips, and the Latin Kings/Queens. Don't ask me how LA Gangs got to the East Coast, but they're here, and there's at least 4 stories a day about gang war violence and casualty in the Trentonian. That's why they have cops there now, to try to erradicate gang behavior.

But it's also the biggest, most comfy theater with the best selection of movies I actually want to see, since the UA theater sucks.

TANGENT

Unfortunately, here it is not uncommon to see racism on both sides. Around certain parts of Trenton, you will find areas populated entirely by blacks. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except that when I am sent out for service calls they stare me down as though I were the devil himself. You will find also in this area an unfortunate amount of blacks who insist on trying to intimidate white people, because they are either gangers or wannabe gangers.. and sometimes it's impossible to tell until it's too late. There are certain parts of trenton I will NOT drive through after 8 PM with all my doors unlocked and after 10 PM at all.

Even if a non-black, usually white person doesn't do something wrong, or is just standing in the wrong place at the wrong time, they will often try to egg you on into a fight so you throw the first punch and get labelled a racist. Those surrounding them will egg you on and on and on until your nerves are hit so badly that you just want to slam their face into the ground. You saw this in my story. It's as though anything I say is because they are black and I am white.

I told them to shut the fuck up because they were loud, obnoxious assholes, and assholes come like skittles.

I don't go out on gang initiation weekend... coincidentally my birthday. I got chased by a horde of black guys with red bandanas and I floored my car. Scariest thing that ever happened to me.

Now, before anyone starts crying the "you can't label everyone blah" thing on me, be aware that I have many black friends, and I do NOT judge people by the way they look. Unfortunately, however, living in this area has made me cautious of people based on a combination of their mannerisms and the color of their skin. It might be unfair, but it might be keeping me out of the grave too. A well groomed person who speaks at a reasonable volume and does not wear their pants below their ass cheeks is generally someone I find more approachable and less likely would I be to lump them into the gang category. Red or Blue are automatic flags for me.

And don't even get me started on the Latin Kings. The only gang I'm safe with up here is what little of the Family is left. :\

Wow...Tangent over.

PS: A White Theater is just a slang term for a theater in an area where there's a higher ratio of whites to blacks in the same town. It's very segregatory and such, and I dont use that term normally. I use the term "Princeton Theater".

[JustADude]

Now, before anyone starts crying the "you can't label everyone blah" thing on me, be aware that I have many black friends, and I do NOT judge people by the way they look. Unfortunately, however, living in this area has made me cautious of people based on a combination of their mannerisms and the color of their skin. It might be unfair, but it might be keeping me out of the grave too. A well groomed person who speaks at a reasonable volume and does not wear their pants below their ass cheeks is generally someone I find more approachable and less likely would I be to lump them into the gang category. Red or Blue are automatic flags for me.

No lip from me here. I grew up in Little Rock, AR during the height of the gang trouble there, then moved to Durham, NC, where the gangs weren't as bad, but were present. The fact is that most members of street gangs ARE black, the same way most members of the Costa Nostra are Italian. I'd be screaming if you said all black folk were gang-bangers, but you simply expressed that you're quite validly cautious of a certain profile of individual.

The only real difference between our situations, when I was working in Durham, was that (thanks to Little Rock) I could tell the difference between the wannabe's and the real gangsters, and I knew how to talk the talk and walk the walk to get myself and, by extension my store, Neutral Party/Territory status with pretty much all the gangs that were fighting over the territory. This meant that, despite being right at the boarder of two different gang territories, I managed to convince the guys to keep it away from the store, and they even kept civil with each other while on our property.

Of course, by the same token, the wannabes that didn't have a clue got the Sardonic Eyebrow of Doom™ when they started fronting. Occasionally things got to the point where I had to say, flat out, "Drop the act and get the hell out before I let the real Bloods know you're posing," but they all eventually learned their lessons as well.

And, the one time our store got broken in to, having friends in low places was quite useful in getting the merchandise "anonymously returned". The guy was never... officially... caught, and I neither know, nor want to know, what happened to him, but we got nearly everything that was stolen back. Not to mention the rock the jackass broke the window with was PERFECT for propping open the door to the back room when we were stocking new movies after close monday night.