My Tuesday of suckage (long, language)

[Gerrinson]

Here's my day of suck:

8:00 AM

Walk out the door, slip on the ice coating the marble steps, fall on said steps. Thinking my landlord needs to put something on them to prevent a future lawsuit.

8:30 AM

Get to work, check my voice mail. Message from the manager of our market: "I know you have our merchant number for the credit card machine. We need it to call them, call me back the second you get this message because it's not working!" No. Fail. I do NOT have that number. I've never had it, nor do I know where to find it. Call back, get the girl running the counter, inform of this. She knows who does have the number and leaves a message for the correct person.

8:40 AM

Person with the merchant number arrives, emails it to me, says that I have to call with the number because "they said they need it from you." WTF? You called them with it and they refused because you're not me? Must...not...kill...coworkers...in broad daylight. Eye twitch begins.

8:45 AM

Having calmed down, I call with the number, manager doesn't answer his phone, so I get the girl at the counter. She takes the number and thanks me profusely. Temper subsiding.

9:40 AM

Manager of the market calls me.

Him: Don't you ever check your voicemails! Our credit card machine is down and I NEED THE MERCHANT NUMBER TO FIX IT! Now give it to me!

Me: thinking: I'll give you something. Lead pipe to the knee perhaps? Applied to the jaw as well to ensure your silence? Saying: I called in with it about an hour ago, you didn't answer so I got the counter and gave it to them.

Him: Oh. We have it? <click>

Me: ...

10:00 AM

Owner's wifi signal is out in her kitchen. She's working from her kitchen so we have to go fix it. Joy.

10:15 AM

Reboot the router. Network comes back. She insists the rebooted it several times "just like this" while unplugging the power to her cordless phone. Temper and headache growing...

10:35 AM

Owner's son calls. Wifi in his part of the house is out. Why didn't we fix it while we were there? Maybe because no one told me while I was there? Vein in temple throbbing...

10:50 AM

Check the wireless access point in his living room. He unplugged the power for it so he could have a place to plug in his Christmas tree. Explain to him (politely somehow) that it does NOT WORK without ELECTRICITY. He gets a power strip from the closet, insists I have to 'install' it as I'm the professional. Well, he's HALF right...

12:30 PM

LUNCH! Which means people insist on talking to me and asking me accounting/IT questions while I'm eating and attempting to read a book. Apparently "I'm on lunch, call me later." does mean what I think it means.

1:00 PM

Supervisor notes the new girl is getting behind on her work. Some may be "transitioned" to my desk. Good golly gosh with goody goody gumdrops! O RLY, I can haz someone else's work? G Thx!

2:00 PM

I discover the new girl hasn't paid the liability insurance premiums. Since AUGUST. Hope we didn't need that coverage. Think she might need:

2:30 PM

Gift shop decides to clean out their files. They often give me invoices without the packing slips, purchase orders, etc. So, they have 27 vendors fax me duplicate invoices to go with all the backup they didn't give me. Thanks, I love duplicating work I've ALREADY DONE and sorting through your incompetence. Head throbbing, BP waaaay up, urge to kill rising fast.

3:04 PM

Discover that the monthly list of birthdays has mine listed in BOLD. After I asked HR to remove me from the list as I don't want an office party, I just want to do my job uninterrupted. So, in about three weeks, I'm going to have to punish HR for doing this to me. Perhaps someone's ID will mysteriously disappear from the network...

4:00 PM

I discover the update to our accounting software does not work as advertised. What a shock! After all, it's been such a good day so far.

4:56 PM

I finally adjust the data table so the software works. I immediately grab my coat and run for the door as it's close enough to 5:00 for me.

5:05 PM

Headlight is out on the driver's side of my car. And all the stores that have auto parts on my way home closed 5 minutes ago. Oh well, nothing I can do about that.


Background info: I live two towns over from where I work, so I drive through three towns to get home. This is important.

5:10 PM

I get pulled over a couple miles from work. Why, you ask? My driver's side headlight is out. Officer is kind enough to give me a warning and let me know I need to get it fixed. I wonder why Captain Obvious is in a cruiser on patrol rather than at his desk in HQ.

5:25 PM

Two miles into the next town, I get pulled over. Again. For my headlight being out. Having solved all other crime in the area, obviously they have nothing better to do than pull me over tonight. I show officer the warning I received, pointing out the time and date stamp. He thoughtfully writes me another and reminds me that I need to get my headlight fixed. Is it wrong to choke a police officer with his own tie?

5:52 PM

Arrive at the grocery store for hamburger buns. And I buy a new snowbrush for my car because mine is real ratty and ineffective at this point. I proceed to the express lane, put my rolls and snowbrush on the belt and bend down to put my basket under the front, where the store normally collects them. Then I find out the woman in front of me is an SC.

SC: Duh.
Me: Duh.
FEM: Front End Manager, knows me as a regular customer

SC: No, no, no! (grabs my rolls and snowbrush and throws them at my head while I'm still bending over) FIRST the divider (places divider on the belt) then your groceries!

Me: Rubbing my face where the brush hit me, the vein in forehead bursting, anger unleashed, urge to kill RIGHT NOW! Who the f*ck do you think you are b*tch? You ever touch my groceries again and I'll shove your f*cking divider so far up your fat @ss that you'll choke to death on it! Turn the f*ck around and get out of my face!

SC: How dare --

Me: I SAID SHUT YOUR F*CKING HOLE YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS C*NT! You DO NOT want to push me any further. I've half a mind to call the police and charge you with assault for pelting me in the head with my groceries. Now SHUT UP and turn the F*CK around!

SC: ... <turns a bit pale, then turns around and has a hard time paying due to her hands shaking>

FEM: <stepping up from behind to speak to me> Are you alright?

Me: Fine. Just been a bad day and she pushed the last button. Sorry for all the yelling...

FEM: No problem. I saw the whole thing. <to cashier> I need a copy of that receipt <the SC's>. <to the SC> I'm going to look up your name and have you trespassed for assaulting another customer. Don't come back. And Happy Holidays.

SC: <mouth working like a fish, looks me in the eye, nods and walks out quickly>

Me: Thanks. Sorry again.

FEM: It's okay, just go home and rest.

6:10 PM

A mile to the post office, 1/2 mile from there to home. YAY! Wait... What the? No. It CAN'T be... Yes, it can. I'm being pulled over. For the THIRD TIME! Will this day never end???

Police officer asks if I know why he pulled me over. I explain yes, I'm aware the light is out. I plan to fix it tomorrow, but the parts stores were closed when I got out of work so there's nothing I can do. And here, look, these are the TWO warnings I've received since I left work tonight, which is when I discovered the light was out.

Officer doesn't like my 'tone' proceeds to lecture me on it and why auto maintenance is important for highway safety. Writes me a warning and reminds me to get the light fixed first thing tomorrow. I ponder taking his pistol and offing one of us. I don't even care which of us it is, really.

6:30 PM

HOME! Finally! Home at last, home at last, thank science almighty, home at last!

Thus ends my day. I didn't really like today. Maybe I'm just touchy. I dunno.

[Shopping4Dummies]

Yikes! All I can add to that is a monumental "I'm so sorry you had a bad day!" and offer you a sympathetic hug. That is, if you "professionals" take sympathy hugs! LOL.

P.S. Get that light fixed! (Sorry, couldn't resist!)

[IT Grunt]

LUNCH! Which means people insist on talking to me and asking me accounting/IT questions while I'm eating and attempting to read a book. Apparently "I'm on lunch, call me later." does mean what I think it means.

My co-worker and I close our doors and ignore our phones during lunch. People call because they know you're likely at your desk during lunch.

As for that SC in the grocery store, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?!? Kudos to the manager for giving her what she deserves. Then again, maybe if you had called the cops, it would have been a nice distraction to get them out of your way to get home.

[Shabo]

Then again, maybe if you had called the cops, it would have been a nice distraction to get them out of your way to get home.

Yeah... just make sure you aren't close behind them when they leave, or else the distraction would not have worked.

[Jack7957]

Replace both headlights. Usually when one goes out, the other will be going soon also. I found this out when I replaced one, and about 3 or 4 days later the other went out.

[Geek King]

Replace both headlights. Usually when one goes out, the other will be going soon also. I found this out when I replaced one, and about 3 or 4 days later the other went out.

Really? Maybe I should be wary of another dingus backing into my other headlight with their trailer hitch then.

Sorry, had to kid. It was that or kill. Not happy that they hit and ran in the parking lot. Need percussive therapy. It may be a bad night for people playing CoD4 tonight.

[MadMike]

For some reason, the third cop that pulled you over about the headlight and proceeded to lecture you reminds me of the whole exchange about the TPS reports on "Office Space."

Seriously, did he not listen to a word you said? You didn't notice it until all the auto parts stores were closed for the day. WTF did he expect you to do?

[Nakajo]

i've learned the hard way to keep extra headlights, oil, etc. in a toolbox in the trunk of my car. Cops here go ticket happy. It's not worth taking the day off work to fight it, even knowing that the judge will throw it out because it's so stupid. Sorry about your day. Have some nice apple cider and enjoy the snow.

[wagegoth]

Where I live, if you get ticketed and get the item fixed, it's only $10, but you have to get a cop to sign off on the ticket that you fixed the item, which means going to the local police headquarters, then you have to present all this stuff to the clerk of the court. So it's a good morning or afternoon of misery to take care of the crap if you do get a ticket.

I'm so glad you just got warnings, although you had to put up with that officious misery. You'd think with the crappy weather there would have been an accident for them to stand around and comment about.

[Primer]

About a month ago, I noticed I had a headlight out while on my way to work. I do keep spare bulbs in my glove box, but at 6am, there's nowhere I can stop and have enough light to see what I'm doing to replace it. I get to work, grab a spare bulb and a flashlight and start seeing what I can do. A few minutes after I popped the hood, I looked up only to see a skunk about 10 feet away staring at me, with it's tail all bushied out! I was not in a good mood in the first place, so I just hollered at it to "go away." I guess it decided I was not much of a threat, as it did leave, uneventfully, and I got my headlight changed out.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I got pulled over for that at 3 in the morning after the last Harry Potter release party. I was parked under a light in the lot, so I didn't notice it was out when I first turned on the car. I barely got a half mile down the road when I got pulled over, and I think my reaction told the cop that I honestly didn't know until he told me. Luckily he just told me to get it fixed and sent me on my way. And more luckily I made it the 12 miles home without attracting further attention.

The ironic thing was that I was joking with one of the volunteers, who had left around 1:00, and telling her to be careful and not get pulled over, since she was 17 and with NJ's graduated licensing rules, she wasn't allowed to be driving after midnight. I imagine she got home fine.

[Tex]

SC: No, no, no! (grabs my rolls and snowbrush and throws them at my head while I'm still bending over) FIRST the divider (places divider on the belt) then your groceries!

Me: Rubbing my face where the brush hit me, the vein in forehead bursting, anger unleashed, urge to kill RIGHT NOW! Who the f*ck do you think you are b*tch? You ever touch my groceries again and I'll shove your f*cking divider so far up your fat @ss that you'll choke to death on it! Turn the f*ck around and get out of my face!

SC: How dare --

Me: I SAID SHUT YOUR F*CKING HOLE YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS C*NT! You DO NOT want to push me any further. I've half a mind to call the police and charge you with assault for pelting me in the head with my groceries. Now SHUT UP and turn the F*CK around!

OMFG! HALLELUJAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! YEAH! I give you a standing ovation!

Tex

For some reason, the third cop that pulled you over about the headlight and proceeded to lecture you reminds me of the whole exchange about the TPS reports on "Office Space."

That's exactly what was running through my mind as well.

"Did you get a warning?"
"Yeah, I got it right here, but all the shops are closed. I wi-"
"I'm going to issue you another warning, mm-kay?"
"No, officer, it's right here."