Wait.....what? You've GOT to be kidding me...

[thegiraffe]

I went to Target tonight on a mission for toothpaste (mission was accomplished successfully, by the way), and saw a couple gems.

Express means FAST, not take your time.

Target has an express lane. They actually have several, but only one was open when I was in there tonight. There was this lady and her mother in front of me, and they each had an order. No problem, people do this quite often. But oh my goodness can we get a little dumber? She had something that didn't scan. She says "oh, well, if it doesn't scan after the third time, it's free! Didn't they teach you that rule?". There WAS sarcasm, but I had to hold my groan in. The cashier kind of blew it off and just smiled though - I would have looked at her and said in my sweetest voice "oh, I'm sorry. That offer actually ended yesterday." That's quite effective lol.

So lady and mom take FOREVER to get their stuff, pay, and finally leave after quadruple checking to make sure they have everything. All I want is toothpaste!!



Oh dear.


In the same Target, there was an endcap display of fireworks - head start on New Years, maybe? In front of said display was a sign: "Attention guests: Thank you for not smoking".

1. It's inside. Florida law prohibits smoking inside public establishments, including restaurants (bars are a different story, but...different time, different place).

2. It's TARGET. Who in their right mind would smoke in TARGET?

3. Yes, we know they're fireworks and flammable and explosive and all of the above. But...why would someone smoke INSIDE Target by the cash registers and by the fireworks?

The only conclusion I can form is that some knucklehead tried this, and so the sign was born.


Uh....whatever floats your boat, I guess...

Driving home from Target, I went through a...special part of town. I was behind this late 80s/early 90s crown vic with a sticker on the back that said: "$ Mo-Money $". My curiosity was piqued, as there was nothing else on the car that would suggest the placement of said sticker. So I pull up next to them and the occupants are.....

Wait for it....

an elderly white couple. Like late 70's probably. They looked quite proper too. I was beyond amused.

[kerrisan]

Driving home from Target, I went through a...special part of town. I was behind this late 80s/early 90s crown vic with a sticker on the back that said: "$ Mo-Money $". My curiosity was piqued, as there was nothing else on the car that would suggest the placement of said sticker. So I pull up next to them and the occupants are.....

Wait for it....

an elderly white couple. Like late 70's probably. They looked quite proper too. I was beyond amused.

They probably bought the car used and never bothered to look at the bumper sticker, or care what it says. One of the funniest things I ever saw was a guy in an F-350 with a Slipknot bumper sticker. Just . . . doesn't fit.

[Anakah]

I saw a woman smoking next to her husband who had an oxygen machine. Actually they were my customers. Talk about stupid!

[Tuxian]

Gotcha beat there, Anakah. We've had people at the casino (which, if you've never been in one, are FILLED with people smoking like it was going out of style) taking hits from an oxygen tank with one hand, and then taking a drag from a cigarette with the other, while they use the oxygetn hand to slam the buttons on the slot machine.

Crazyness.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

One of the funniest things I ever saw was a guy in an F-350 with a Slipknot bumper sticker. Just . . . doesn't fit.

Or, the land-yacht station wagon owned by one of my high school chums, with bumper stickers for Black Flag, Minor Threat, the Dead Kennedys, and various and sundry other punk rock groups.

In the same Target, there was an endcap display of fireworks - head start on New Years, maybe? In front of said display was a sign: "Attention guests: Thank you for not smoking".

1. It's inside. Florida law prohibits smoking inside public establishments, including restaurants (bars are a different story, but...different time, different place).

2. It's TARGET. Who in their right mind would smoke in TARGET?

3. Yes, we know they're fireworks and flammable and explosive and all of the above. But...why would someone smoke INSIDE Target by the cash registers and by the fireworks?

The only conclusion I can form is that some knucklehead tried this, and so the sign was born.

Many moons ago, it used to perfectly okay to smoke in stores.

One of the guys on third shift used to be the maintenance man and said people used to light up all the time in the store. Managers would feel free to light them up in their offices. He said the walls would become yellow after a while and the air filters in the vents would be filthy.

[bigjimaz]

Driving home from Target, I went through a...special part of town. I was behind this late 80s/early 90s crown vic with a sticker on the back that said: "$ Mo-Money $". My curiosity was piqued, as there was nothing else on the car that would suggest the placement of said sticker. So I pull up next to them and the occupants are.....

Wait for it....

an elderly white couple. Like late 70's probably. They looked quite proper too. I was beyond amused.

About 10 years ago I was living in Arizona. I went into a store only to return to my car and notice that I had a brand new radio station bumper sticker on my painted bumper cover as did every car in the general vicinity of mine. I surmised that the radio station, which was the new rap/hip hop station in the city, was trying to drum up some listeners. I called the station and asked if they had someone out circulating stickers in that store lot and they said they had. I asked them if they told that canvasser to actually put the stickers on the cars and the guy I talked to went ballistic. He apologized to me profusely and told me to bring my car to the station and they would remove it. I asked if he was going to do the same thing for the hundred other cars that were in the lot that all had the stickers. He went into orbit.

Turns out that he sent one of the DJ's out to promote the station and the guy, rather than waiting all day to pass out the stickers, (he was paid to be there for 6 hours) decided to just slap on the 200 stickers he had and leave.

They got the sticker off without damaging my bumper. The former DJ was never heard from again and the station only stayed on the air for maybe 6 months and went silent. That channel is now one of Bob's stations.

[MadRocketScientist]

Turns out that he sent one of the DJ's out to promote the station and the guy, rather than waiting all day to pass out the stickers, (he was paid to be there for 6 hours) decided to just slap on the 200 stickers he had and leave.

I see what he did wrong there!

[Tex]

There was an endcap display of fireworks - head start on New Years, maybe? In front of said display was a sign: "Attention guests: Thank you for not smoking".

1. It's inside. Florida law prohibits smoking inside public establishments, including restaurants (bars are a different story, but...different time, different place).

2. It's TARGET. Who in their right mind would smoke in TARGET?

3. Yes, we know they're fireworks and flammable and explosive and all of the above. But...why would someone smoke INSIDE Target by the cash registers and by the fireworks?

The only conclusion I can form is that some knucklehead tried this, and so the sign was born.

It may just be me, but it seems that stupid shit like this ends up happening as a result of management putting up stupid notices which are obvious to everyone else. My favorite is when the Western Union, ATM & EBT, and/or the lottery terminals go down. We put up signs letting customers aware of this, but what do we end up getting? Lines @ the CS desk wondering why we can't take ATM & EBT payments, why we can't take money orders, or why they can't cash their winning tickets or play the Powerball. READ THE DAMN SIGNS, PEOPLE!

Tex

[MadMike]

2. It's TARGET. Who in their right mind would smoke in TARGET?

You'd be surprised. One of these days, I'll have to try and remember to repost my "Thank you for not smoking" story from ages ago, possibly before you were even born.

[wolfie]

Along the lines of stupid signs, here are a few I've seen:

- While making a delivery, I saw a "no smoking" sign at the loading dock. On its own, that wouldn't be unusual - except at the gatehouse, there was a sign saying that no tobacco was allowed on the property, and that if you had any, you had to leave it at the security desk.

- In a previous career, there was a bar I walked past on a regular basis that had a sign "no firearms allowed inside this establishment". My reason for walking past this bar? It was between the security check and the gate for my flight at SeaTac airport.

- Somewhere, I've got a photo of a sign that says "parking permitted" and has a double-ended arrow to show that the "OK to park" area extends in both directions. Also in the photo is the fire hydrant 3 feet from the sign.