Registry of Motor Vehicles, how do I hate thee?

[Gerrinson]

Warning: Very long and language (some racial, though not in a racist manner?)

Quick background: I am an official card carrying procrastinator, mostly in my personal life. So, at least some of my problems are my own fault due to me putting things off too long. Also, my birthday is not technically a holiday but an Eve, so the Registry treats it as a holiday anyway.

5 years, 3 weeks, and 3 days ago...
I needed to renew my license prior to my birthday when it expires, as the Registry is closed that day. Due to the Procrastinator's Guild rules, I must wait until the last possible day to actually go to the Registry. I acknowledge this is my fault.

I got there at 8:25 AM, and was at the door when it was unlocked at 8:30. I even, graciously, allowed the woman waiting with me to go first. She also needed to get a license, so she got the number before me. Meh, whatever.

We walk around the dividers that separate the paperwork from the two camera/workstations and I see that one of the cameras is in pieces and there's a tech working on it. There are also two women standing there chatting while drinking coffee and eating donuts out of an open Dunkin Donuts box. I realize that I'll have to wait, but with only the nice lady in front of me, I'm still just fine.

Cast:

Me: Myself: I
NL: Nice lady in front of me
SE1:
SE2:
Tech: Not a speaking role in this production

NL: Hi, I need to renew my license.

SE1: Sorry, the camera station is down.

SE2: We'll be down all day, you'll have to come back after the holidays.

Tech: *says nothing, just looks at SE1 & 2*

Me: Wait, BOTH cameras are down?

SE1: Yes. *SE2 nods in agreement*

Me: Well, my license expires tomorrow, I need to get this taken care of now.

SE1: Sorry, there's nothing we can do.

NL, in the meantime, was putting sorting her paperwork and putting it all in a folder in her purse. I presume that she is NOT a procrastinator like myself. And more organized to boot.

Me: Is there a supervisor on duty that I can speak to?

SE1: What? Why?

Me: My license expires TOMORROW. If I get pulled over with an expired license I want it documented that I was here and was unable to get my license replaced. So I need to see a supervisor or manager.

SE1: The manager is busy, just come back after the holidays.

Me: I'll need your manager, right now and I'll wait if necessary. Thanks.

SE1: *sighs* FINE. This station is working. *sits down at the camera not being serviced.

Me: Oh, no. FIRST, you'll take care of her. *pointing at NL, who was walking out of the room* THEN, you'll take care of me.

I chased down NL in the hallway and brought her back so she could her license. Freaking Registry. I don't care if everything you say is accompanied by a hail of donut crumbs, just do your damned job!

6 days ago...

Out of the blue, I realized that I'm an idiot. My license expired on my birthday in 2007. And here it is January 2008 and I totally forgot to renew!

I leave work at lunch time, after telling my boss where I'm going and why. The local Registry only offers driving exams 2 days a week. I manage to pick one of those days, so there's a long line of teenagers waiting to get their licenses, by the time I show up. Joy.

I get my paperwork, get my number and proceed to stand for two hours, eventually getting a seat on a bench near the front of the line. My benchmates are gangsta wannabes. Pasty white boys dressed up all gangsta. Sitting there calling each other n**ga every other word. I internally roll my eyes and proceed to read my book.

The guy 2 numbers in front of me gets up the window! Yay! I can see the end in sight! Turns out he's replacing a lost license, so I eavesdrop to see what I might be in for. To sum up the situation: He can only get a PERMIT today (requires a licensed driver in the passenger seat), has to take the written and driving tests again, and a $500 reinstatement fee on top of all the other fees.

I'm all this is going to hurt my wallet!!!

There's not much else I can do except suck it up and see if I'm in the same boat. In the meantime, this woman walks in, past the entire line, with no paperwork in her hands. She's wearing a bunch of rings and very nice (most likely not faux) fur coat. She gets right up behind the guy at the counter, I figure maybe she's waiting for him.

Cast 2:

Me:
EW: Entitlement Whore
GW1: Gangsta Wannabe 1
GW2: Gangsta Wannabe 2

EW: *turns around to address those of us on the bench* I just have one question so I'm not taking a number or anything, I'm just going to cut ahead of you, ok?

GW1: What ev ah. *yes, that's how he said it*

Me: *current total wait time: 2 1/2 HOURS* Seriously? You're just going to cut ahead of everyone here that's been waiting in line *gesturing at said line* and also have the temerity to ask if it's "OK" with us?

Me (paragraphs = friends): No, it's not "OK". I've spent hours of my afternoon here waiting just like everyone else. You can either take a number and wait your turn, or you can go to the back of the line, wait until everyone already in line has been helped, then IF the people who came after you with numbers are "OK" with it THEN you can cut in line. But in no way, shape, or form, is it "OK" for you to f***ing cut in line right now.

EW: *whine* I'm in a huuuurrrry!!!

Me: And I could care less. You want me to be "OK" with you cutting, I'm not. So, shut up and deal.

*At this point everyone, including the staff, had all stopped to watch the proceedings as my voice carries and while I wasn't yelling, I wasn't trying to be quiet about it either.*

EW: FINE! Be that way, a**! *storming out of the room and yelling now* GOOD LUCK getting your license, they don't give licenses to a**es with ROAD RAGE!

(Note: I must be slipping as I only merit an a** rather than an a**hole. )

GW1: Damn, n***ga, you got some motherf***ing balls! I was thinkin' it, but you f***ing said it!

GW2: F*** yeah! You mah n***ga!

Somehow, my soul cringes at being their n***ga. On the other hand, I do feel that I "pwned" the EW, so I suppose it all balances out.

Oh, and I only had to pay a $40 renewal fee. Turns out you don't have to pay the $500 reinstatement fee and go through all the tests and stuff unless your license has been expired for more than 4 years. Which means the guy two places ahead of me has been driving on an expired license for at least FOUR YEARS???

And on the way home yesterday, I endangered the lives of other drivers...

I think the suck on this was about 60/40 in favor of Mr. SUV, the jackass chronicled below.

There's stretch of road, through the biggest town in the southern half of my county, where the two lane 'highway' *cough* splits into four lanes and occasionally 6 to accomodate turning lanes. Once you get past the center of town, it drops back to a 2 lanes, one north, one south. And the far right lane becomes a turning only lane and terminates at a traffic light.

So, going through town, lots of traffic, and this SUV behind me is practically climbing on top of my trunk. Apparently in a bid to get me to drive faster (I was already 5 MPH over the limit). I'm not, because I had passed a cop earlier who turned out and is line just a little behind the SUV. No speeding tickets for me, thanks!

We get to the end of the two lanes, the right lane becomes turning only, and the light turns red just before I get to it. As it does every night. Mr. SUV suddenly swerves into the turning only lane, but doesn't actually turn, despite the green arrow and the beeping of traffic behind him.

I know already what he's going to do. He's going to try to pass me mid intersection when the light turns green. I decide no, not gonna happen.

Light turns green, I accelerate but not ridiculously fast, just normal. Mr. SUV does as I expected, goes straight rather than turning. Of course, there's no merge lane, so he's driving in the breakdown lane, keeping pace with me. There are a series of business and residential driveways and streets coming up. A couple cars that were waiting to pull out back up when they see him coming.

In the meantime, he starts beeping his horn and waving at me to slow down so he can pull in front of me. I continue driving at the speed limit in my lane. I glance in the rearview and see flashing blue lights and cars pulling off to the right. I smile to myself, even though I may get a ticket out of this. I also flip off Mr. SUV, to prove I'm at least as immature as he is.

He's now quickly running out of breakdown lane and will either have to force me out of the way, drive up onto the sidewalk, or back off. He hits the breaks and swerves into the lane behind me. He gets right up on my bumper, flashing his high beams, and beeping his horn.

This continues for about a half mile (at 30 miles an hour) during which I assume he did not notice the cop with the flashing lights behind him. Then I hear the siren kick in. I the auto down on my window as he slows down and starts to pull over. I reach out the window and wave to him as I continue on my way. I may have done some too...

In retrospect, he was a danger to people pulling out, myself (especially if he decided to force his way into the lane) and possibly anyone on the sidewalk if he had decided to not back off. I should have just slowed down and let him go ahead of me to allow for the safety of others. So, my bad, I was sucky too. Legally in the right, yes, but still kind of sucky.

[IT Grunt]

Two sucky people owned in one day. Now that's got to be a bit uplifting.

For Mrs. Entitlement, I've heard that excuse before, and I don't buy it. I've heard 'Oh I have a quick question' turn into a major undertaking. When people call my desk with 'a quick question', I start preparing for something that may end up giving me hours of work.

In regards to Mr. SUV, I would have done the same thing. Guy wants to make an illegal move? Fine. Let him take his chances, I'm going to remain within the limit of the law, while at the same time keeping him from succeeding. I bet it had to feel good to see him get busted.

[marty]

I don't know about where you live, but in North Carolina it's illegal to switch lanes in the middle of an intersection, so here he'd have been pulled to begin with. I don't think you were being sucky at all if you didn't slam your foot on the gas after the light turned green, if he was riding your ass to start he was already driving recklessly. Very recklessly. I mean wow.

I can't stand it when people cut into very long lines. I was waiting in line to rent my books (yes, my college lets us rent our textbooks, yay!). An hour later, when I was halfway through the line, dumb twit in front of me decides her BFF can get in front of everybody else with her. So I step in front of both of them, choosing to keep my mouth shut but make the statement clear. "Hey!" says dumb twit. "You can't pass me!"

The reply and triumph, coming from the guy behind me. "Well your stupid friend can't pass the rest of us, if you want to chat so damn bad then you can both go the fuck to the back of the line, otherwise she can leave and we can all be happy!" They got so mad that they both left, bitching and moaning. I got a high five.

[trunks2k]

I had to transfer my license from CT to PA. I had been putting it off for a while because the car I was driving was registered in CT. Insurance is cheaper if they think the car is at my parents than where I live now, so I never changed the registration. Yeah I know it's not really ok to do that.

But I ended up buying a brand spankin' new car a couple weeks ago, so I had to get it registered in PA, and in order to do that I had to get my license changed over. I went to the DMV on a saturday morning armed to the teeth with several forms of ID, proof that I live where I say I live, music, and a book. I was fully expecting to be there for a couple hours at least and probably having to actually take the driver's test since I had been a resident for over 60 days and hadn't transferred my license.

When I got to the DMV, I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I got there a bit after 10AM. I left by 10:35. No hassle. No long wait. No nothing. Its shocking I know. I fully expect the four horsemen of the apocolypse to come marching down my street any day now.

[wagegoth]

My benchmates are gangsta wannabes. Pasty white boys dressed up all gangsta. Sitting there calling each other n**ga every other word. I internally roll my eyes and proceed to read my book.

Thay's whiggas, dog!

[GolfCart34]

I've found that the best day EVER to go to the DMV is on Christmas Eve. I've had to go on Christmas Eve on two separate occasions (once in New Hampshire and once in Vermont) and was in and out in less than 20 minutes. And both times I went in the middle of the day when the DMV is usually packed with people.

I remember going to the DMV in Virginia though... Talk about a nightmare. It took my bf two hours to get his stuff down. 1 3/4 of that time was spent waiting in line for his number to be called.

[dreams305]

I used to live in Long Beach, CA. All the DMVs in the city are hectic and full of people. The one nice thing is the ticket system there says it will be like 3 hours, so you can leave and come back later. If you miss your number they usually will let you jump in line. Never had much of a problem there other than lines (and the lady who failed me my first driving test cause she said I came out of a complete stop in second gear when I never stopped cause the light had a green right turn arrow).

Me and the ex break up and I give him my truck. (our truck, his truck) I also have to get a front license plate (they end up giving you both) and we just happened to be really close to the Compton, CA DMV. I was hesitant, but I ended up saying whatever, lets go.

I had the NICEST time. There was NO line. The lady at the front explained my paperwork to me, I got the plates right there. I was dumbfounded and just kept muttering to the clerks and staff about how nice and easy everything was.

Protip: Compton DMV makes DMV easy

[PepperElf]

Me: I'll need your manager, right now and I'll wait if necessary. Thanks.

SE1: *sighs* FINE. This station is working. *sits down at the camera not being serviced.

ooooh so once she realizes the manager will be called no matter what, THEN she confesses her camera is working?

You might procrastinate but... for her to just sit and lie to you is far suckier.

EW: FINE! Be that way, a**! *storming out of the room and yelling now* GOOD LUCK getting your license, they don't give licenses to a**es with ROAD RAGE!

and her rage was acceptable rage? that's ironic haha

I endangered the lives of other drivers...

eh, more like he did. i liked the part about him getting stopped by the cops.


heh... tho i am reminded of something similar that happened to mom, but slightly different.

she was driving down the highway and drove past an on-ramp. she saw cars were trying to merge onto the highway and pulled over to the left lane to make it easier.

but when she tried to pull back in, some lady wouldn't let her back in and kept matching her speed. until mom got ahead of her and the car behind mom was neck-and-neck with the rude driver... the police car. with a glaring officer inside. the lady backed off and let mom in.

[d962831]

awesome, now I wish I was you...sort of.

[myswtghst]

As far as Mr. SUV goes, I figure, as long as all you're doing to prevent him from getting over is driving normally, then you're not being sucky. However, if you had sped way up, driven obnoxiously and blatantly made it impossible for him to get over, then it'd be a little bit sucky. Mostly, he was just being an immature asshole and I hope he got all the tickets he deserved, as, to my knowledge, there should be several. I love seeing a sucky driver pwned by cops.

And way to be at the DMV - both stories made me happy.

[Rahmota]

Wow good job at the DMV. I love how suddenly the broken camera repaired itself when faced with unshakeable determination.

That SUV driver was a total knobjob and needed to be taken out of the driver's seat. Hopefully the cop gave them a compleate reaming.

[Inker]

When I got to the DMV, I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I got there a bit after 10AM. I left by 10:35. No hassle. No long wait. No nothing. Its shocking I know. I fully expect the four horsemen of the apocolypse to come marching down my street any day now.

The same thing happened to me at the Philly MVA. Being used to the Maryland DMV, I was prepared for at least 4 hours of running from desk to desk, waiting, kicking, and screaming. It only took 1 hour total to get a license, registration and tags. And that included having to run home because I forgot my birth certificate.

Getting the car inspected on the other hand.....