"Some bloke swung his dog at me" from RPGnet Tangency

[ForestDragon]

I ran across this story at another site (specifically RPGnet) and just had to share it with you all.

*MOD EDIT - "The problem is it's on a section called Tangency, which is only open to members - it doesn't show up unless you're a member. I asked the guy who posted it in the first place if I could post it here, he said okay ~ ForestDragon"

So, for your (dis)approval, here is the story of the guy we're beginning to call "The Goddamn Dogman" as it appeared Jan. 24th...

There I was, going between sites last night when I decided to diesel up.

When I pull into the petrol station there's another car on the forecourt, and I can see the driver is inside having an argument with the cashier.

None of my business I think, and fill up.

As I'm just finishing, the bloke storms out of the shop swearing at the cashier as he goes.

So I step inside and ask the girl behind the counter if she's ok?

Apparently this idiot had turned up just before me, gone inside, told her that he didn't have any money, and still expected fuel, which she refused, sounds fair enough to me.

At this point the bloke outside has his car door and is reaching inside for something.;

"Oh, is he looking for some money then?"

"No, he said he'd set his dog on me, but as you're here he ain't got the bollocks."

And at this point the bloke pulls a Staffordshire bull terrier out of his car.

"Oh. You can lock that door, right?"

Not in the couple of seconds it takes a nutter to pull a dog from his car and walk into the shop.

So now he's in the shop with a Staffie that he's holding by the collar, as am I, while the cashier is behind a counter.

"I fucking told you I'd do this!"

So, I decided to try and defuse things.

"All right mate, calm down, you don't need to do anything stupid."

The cashier joins in, "I've pressed my button, the police are on their way."

He wasn't in the mood though, he then asks me if I knew who he was, and I can honestly say I didn't have a clue.

Not the answer he was looking for. So he starts telling me not to disrespect him, as he can have me killed.

"Ok, look, I was really just here for some diesel, and..."

And at that point, he picks up the Staffie by its collar, and swings it like a club in my general direction.

"Fucking hell! What was that?"

"I told you, don't disrespect me, or I'll set my dog on you."

"What, by throwing it at me?"

"It'll fucking rip your throat right out."

Now he's holding the dog off of the ground by the collar, which is digging into the dog's throat.

"Look, she said the police are on the way, you don't want to do anything silly, just put the dog down." (Not a phrase I ever imagined using).

"Don't you fucking disrespect me next time, remember who I am."

And then he walks out with the Staffie, gets in his car and drives off before the police turn up.

And even after giving a statement to the coppers, I still don't know who he was supposed to be.

I've read this over several times and I still keep thinking "Um, that's not the way you set your dog on someone. Not in the US, at any rate." Even though I'm appalled at how the poor dog was being treated, there's still something hysterically funny about the whole thing...

[justZu]

Oh, the poor dog. I think the perfect ending to the story would be that he sets the dog down so he can leave and the disgruntled dog bites him.
Ah, that would be most excellent.

[aurelemsrealm]

Wow! I'd accuse you of making something like that up, but I can believe in the power of human stupidity. I'll have to admit, I was laughing in that morbidly dumbfounded sense of disbelief. I'm prone to a sadistic sense of humor (usually when human stupidity blows up in some stupid human's face), but I feel bad for that poor dog having to put up with such a moron. I hope it decides to turn and rip his throat out someday. I would gladly laugh at someone like that being mauled to death by the disgruntled dog. The only part that would make me feel bad is that the authorities would likely euthanize the dog if it did attack him.

*Shaking head in disbelief* Okay....... don't know what else to say about that one.

[marty]

Treating that dog like that, one day the pup's ganna turn on him. Bet Mr. Important won't be expecting that.

[Lil Bunny]

Treating that dog like that, one day the pup's ganna turn on him. Bet Mr. Important won't be expecting that.

You can see the paper now, "He was always such a great dog, I NEVER saw it coming!"

Poor dog, I feel sorry for em.

[Rahmota]

are you sure that wasnt a monty python skit? I'll set the dog on you definately has a different meaning....

And yeah thats just wrong on so many levels.

[Bagga]

You don't understand, The guy wasn't a MELEE sc, he was a RANGED-COMBAT sc. At level 70 you are able to lob a dog with 75% accuracy a distance of up to 60 feet. (Caution: if you fumble, and the dog lands within 15 feet of you, run like the wind)

[PepperElf]

um... if some idiot is going to throw his dog at someone out of anger.... then he really SHOULDN'T want people knowing who he is.

Maybe someone should introduce him to Michael Vick and explain what happens when you try to make your dogs fight for you illegally.

*waps the idiot with the aspca*

[Snowbird]

Um, did anyone get the license on that drive by dogger?

Good grief, that's just awful!

[ForestDragon]

I suppose he confused 'set my dog on you' - making the dog attack someone with 'set my dog on you' - place the dog on his person like you'd set a table.....

[Rapscallion]

I've read this over several times and I still keep thinking "Um, that's not the way you set your dog on someone. Not in the US, at any rate." Even though I'm appalled at how the poor dog was being treated, there's still something hysterically funny about the whole thing...

Okies, he's paying in pounds and talking about petrol - guy's a brit with a small todger. Sherlock Holmes hat removed...

This didn't happen to you, so it's a sighting. However, since it's copyrighted to someone else, I'd really prefer a link. I seem to remember that Tangency requires you to register before reading.

Let me know?

Rapscallion

[Ree]

When I read this last night, I PM'ed ForestDragon about it, and I have edited his first post to clarify that he has permission to repost, and cannot provide us with a link, as it's in a members only section.

[tropicsgoddess]

I feel sorry for that poor staffie to have such an asshat for an owner. Hopefully that staffie will get that mother in the jugular.