Slow walkers cost me $3.20!

[edible_hat]

This pissed me off at the time, but now I'm laughing about my reaction.

I had to run a few errands, and I'd parked in a multi-story car park. After a couple of things, my fiance and myself decided to have lunch. Afterwards we tried to rush back to the car park in time that we'd only have to pay for an hour of parking.

But the slow walkers got in our way. Over and over again foot traffic slowed to a crawl. Sometimes it was old people but mostly it was groups of idiots who saw each other going in opposite directions and slowed down to have their conversations. Blocking the entire mall so there was no way around them.

So we got back to the car 3 minutes late, and had to pay for 2 hours of parking. ($6, vs $2.80 for one hour).

[marasbaras]

I've found the "move it you rude bastards" gets things moving quite nicely.

[digilight]

Why stop, just go into snow plow mode.

Ok a simple excuse me for the first step usually works,
if not then move to step #2 which is a louder and gruffer move it.
If step #2 fails then its on to step #3 which is a rather rude OUTAMYWAY which tends to get the job done.
If step #3 Fails then Step #4 (warning may get your ass kicked for this one but feels really good at the time) requires you to politely utter the phrase "Fucking move ya cum stain".
If step #4 has failed and you are still standing uninjured then its on to the fifth and final step. Step #5, just start walking into them and knock them out of your way like bowling pins.

[donruss]

I find that using an alternate route tends to speed things up.

[Broomjockey]

Okay, step 4 seems unnecissarily nasty. Frankly, after the excuse me, I always go straight to pushing past if I'm in a hurry. I will sometimes throw my shoulder/backpack depending on circumstances...

[Sylvia727]

I'm tall enough, wide enough, and solid enough to just walk. Obstacles? What obstacles? As long as I steer around the football players and the babystrollers, I'm good!

[WanderingSaint]

I find booking it while making high pitched squeeling giggles with my arms put together like a human ice breaker (tirangle) get people moving.

It looks rediculous... but if I'm needing to get somewhere THAT fast, it's worth it... and if I have freinds behind me, their all laughing and squeeling with me. Great endorphine boost.

yeah. we're crazy. But the 'WTF?!" faces on all those daftnuts that crowd the mallways/hallways when I crash through is hilarious. The giggles are thier warning.

[ArcticChicken]

I fucking HATE when a group of people stands around talking in the middle of the hallway. It drove me crazy in high school, and it's driving me crazy in college, especially the group of guys standing in front of the hallway to the restrooms today.

[MMATM]

I walk like Laurence Maroney runs (if I'm in a hurry, e.g. on the way to class). If someone gets in my way, I stutter step and dash by. It's gotten to the point where I can outdistance my family by a good twenty or thirty yards in a few seconds. I'm extra-special careful not to touch anyone as I brush by, because I don't know if they're carrying something or if they're off balance.

My only known weaknesses are the chains of linked-armed, Ugg-boot-wearing, loudly-gossiping, text-message-pounding, too-high-standards-to-ever-look-at-a-guy-until-drunk-and-then-will-open-their-legs-to-anyone-boasting, GPA-scraping, English-language-butchering, soon-to-fail-out-of-school bitches, who make it their solitary goal in life to walk slower than the average infant can crawl.

I usually have no choice but to forcibly separate them, after a few ignored "excuse me"s. And then I wash my hands. And check to make sure I still have my wallet.

[Sylvia727]

My only known weaknesses are the chains of linked-armed, Ugg-boot-wearing, loudly-gossiping, text-message-pounding, too-high-standards-to-ever-look-at-a-guy-until-drunk-and-then-will-open-their-legs-to-anyone-boasting, GPA-scraping, English-language-butchering, soon-to-fail-out-of-school bitches, who make it their solitary goal in life to walk slower than the average infant can crawl.

Those twits labeled me "The Highway Bitch" because I shouldered between them and kept walking. They'd yell down this 'insult' the hallway at me, as if I cared After a while, when they heard the "excuse me" they'd start playing Red Rover or some dumb shit. I think that type just gets a kick out of making everyone else as unproductive as they are.

[powerboy]

I hate people that walk slow, but it doesn't bother me when old people do it. I truly hate people that will stop and talk to related family or friends, in the only lane. I will say excuse me 2 times, after that I walk thru. Almost got into a fight because of that. Hell, you stand in way, I say excuse me. I will get thru.

[Primer]

I'm sorry to say that I have become a slow walker (damned hips) but I keep aware of my surroundings, and get to the right whenever somebody else comes up behind me. If DH and I are walking together, I also pull him to the side so others can pass us. I remember what it was like when I was faster than average, and got stuck behind slow folks!

[ArenaBoy]

3 things about how I walk.

1. I'm a goalie in soccer, I'm used to crowds and know how to edge them out of space.

2. I was in karate for 5 years. I move like a ghost.

3. I'm a runner. And in high school track and cross-country I had a reputation for using my elbows to get around crowds.

Whenever I deal with a crowd I put those 3 factors into play. I am also a fast walker.

[coldcupofjoe]

My only known weaknesses are the chains of linked-armed, Ugg-boot-wearing, loudly-gossiping, text-message-pounding, too-high-standards-to-ever-look-at-a-guy-until-drunk-and-then-will-open-their-legs-to-anyone-boasting, GPA-scraping, English-language-butchering, soon-to-fail-out-of-school bitches, who make it their solitary goal in life to walk slower than the average infant can crawl.

Thats quite a kryptonite there man.

[bigjimaz]

I'm afraid I'm one of those slow walkers. My health problems make it impossible to go faster than I do, not that I was ever "fast." Average walking speed is 4mph. It takes me about 7 minutes to walk the ¼ mile to work or about 2mph.

That said, I know that I walk slow and try my best to stay to the side of the sidewalk and not impede anyone. (hell, everyone)