AMAZING MOTHER!

[Nakajo]

I understand that yes, it's proper to pay for yourself and your folks when able. I'm 21, and because housing around here is way too pricey for most people, I am living at home and paying my family rent, as well as all my other expenses in life. However, in the above post, I can't imagine my folks ever leaving me hungry when I'm in a tight spot. Maybe you could ask them if you can do some chores or some side work for a small cash loaner. That's what I do when I'm running tight on cash to pay for my rent. (Giving our dog a bath is a horrid experience, that's why I do it for $35 off my rent, and my parents GLADLY take the offer)

[Emrld]

Happy Otter Lover -
I suggest in the future when you are supposed to dine out with the family you ask before sitting at the table who is paying for food.
If you are only able to afford your own - then make it clear up front - and then order according to your budget.
If they expect you to pay for all of them - tell them no dice and don't go . . .if you can't afford even your own - don't go. Or offer to converse with them and only have water (if free) for yourself.

I understand your money is tight. Honestly at 20 you should be responsible. (note that did not say making a ton of money) It sounds like your parents are expecting you to be independent.
You may need to spell things further out to them.
Set up a time to sit down and speak to them. Have copies of your invoices for school, book purchases, rent, food, pay stubs.
Show them exactly where your money is going and how much you have coming in.
It may be that they think you aren't spending wisely so why should they help. It may also be that they just have no intention in assisting you any further and if that is the case, better it is made clear now.
If they are willing to give you a hand after it has been made clear to them where your money is going - set up a plan.

[Dreamstalker]

that little bitch got all whiny about lending her parent $1.45? on a gift card the parent just paid for?

If my mom puts money on one of my many reloadable coffee cards I always buy her at least one drink on said card.

[Hello Kitty]

My spouse likes to hang out at our local *$ (right across from the high school, so you can imagine the stories he comes home with). Anyway, one day he saw a 7 year old kid demanding a cookie from his mom as she's paying for her coffee. He whines "buy me a cookie or else I'll have a tantrum!". And she gives in!!! Shesh, that's just teaching him that threats work.

[Catwoman2965]

My parents (and now mom) wold always make me take them out for lunch rather than dinner as it was "less expensive" - whatever - i could afford dinner but they hated to have me spend $$ on them. i did it twice a year, for their birthdays (one day apart) and their anniversary.

I used to take my grandmother grocery shopping, and help out around the house, and she was alwasy trying to give me $20 for gas or whatever. MOm finally told me just take it, it makes HER feel better..so i woudl...and then next time i'd go see her i'd buy lunch for us with it!

[Pagan]

My grandmother (mom's side) is always trying to give my mom (mostly) and dad money for things that it really doesn't make any difference on.

The best one she tried to pull was this past Christmas. I got to go home to Las Cruces for the first time in years. So, my grandmother was going to bring this friend of hers, Elmer, from the home for Christmas dinner. We went to pick them up and Elmer isn't coming after all. Well, fast forward to taking my grandmother home, she keeps trying to pay my mom because of "extra food" because Elmer didn't come. Then she tries to drag me into the middle of it and give me the money! I told her, "Put your money away and keep me out of this!"

This might sound a little harsh, but, honestly, my grandmother isn't a very nice person, especially to my mom and dad. She just won't understand that if it comes down to her or my parents, I've got my parents back.

[Primer]

While I was in college, my mother insisted on paying for books and tuition. On occasion, she would help out with gas money and dentist visits, also. I cannot remember ever asking for help, but she would insist. About five years ago, she needed help with dental bills, and I was able to "loan" her $5000. I do NOT expect to be repaid. Lately, DH's 26yo daughter has been helping out since he had his back surgery 2 weeks ago. I find myself sneaking her $100 here and there to help her out with gas money and to make a token payment for her efforts. She knows we are not rich, but I'm sure she is grateful for all contributions.

Karma has been good to me. Any time I need money, it appears, though usually through hard work. The obverse of that, though, is any time I get money, something breaks or has to be replaced. We just got our tax refund back--$6100. That is already earmarked for my hip replacement surgery the end of May, and bills over the summer till I can go back to work in the fall semester. Once the settlement from the wreck 18 mos ago comes in, then I can replace my truck and get both rotator cuff surgeries I need, and take another semester of to recuperate.

Nobody ever said life would be easy, or fair, but everything will work out in the long run.

[tropicsgoddess]

Horray for the mom on pwning her bratty daughter. That's a rare sight these days.