The Coffee Prophecy

[rerant]

Walking into Tim Horton's today I walked in on an exchange a customer was having with the employee.

Before I get to the script I should point out that this is my favourite Tim Horton's location. It's always clean, the employees are always so nice to me, and unlike other locations, they make my coffee perfectly every time (they, unlike other locations, are hip to the stirring jive).
It's also one of those locations that is mostly a drive-through, meaning there is no lobby area, just a counter for walk-in customers and room enough for about eight people on the customer side of the counter.
Now the script.

CL = crazy lady
My thoughts
The Tim Horton's employee doesn't really need a title in all of this, since his response to everything was "... *blink stare* ...".

CL: You need to clean up, you know? Keep things tidy.
Ok, a random conversation about tidy-up routines. Wrap it up, lady I want my caffeine!
CL: I want a strawberry cream cheese danish.
To go with your Subway sub? Not very healthy, tsk tsk.
CL: NOT THAT ONE! You touched it!
Not a chance, lady, you're loopy.
CL: I want a new one. No don't put it in the same bag!
Freeeeeeaaaaaak.
CL: This is why you people are going bankrupt! You don't clean up and you're going bankrupt!
Tim Horton's? Bankrupt? Lady, this is Canada. If we didn't have Tim Horton's we'd die out as a society. No one is going bankrupt here.

At this point CL starts for the door and some dude who just walked in tries to get ahead of me in line. Oh hell ho. I gave a death look and stood in front of him.
They like me at this location so they'd have made sure I was served first anyway, but still.

CL comes back and is all up in my coffee ordering space.
This is my bubble, bitch. Stay out of my bubble.

CL: In January, god made a prophecy that he sent down to me that you would all be bankrupt! The prophecy is true! The prophecy is real!

At this point me and the employee were exchanging "what a loopy bitch" looks while another handed me my coffee.
I gave the cashier one last sympathetic look and got the hell out of there.

Look out, coffee lovers, god sent a prophecy and Tim Horton's will be out of business in no time!

[Trayol]

ME thinks somebody should cut down on the caffeine and I'm looking at you rerant

[rerant]

ME thinks somebody should cut down on the caffeine and I'm looking at you rerant

Allow me to quote the Tim Horton's employee by saying, ... *blink stare* ...

If I ever see that lady again I'll get her number for you.

[Trayol]

I believe that would be assault with a crazy weapon. It's only legal in Canada, Alaska, Minnesota, Guam and Puerto Rico. The punishment for violating this law is mandatory habitation with the instrument of crazy.

[Broomjockey]

Tim Horton's? Bankrupt? Lady, this is Canada. If we didn't have Tim Horton's we'd die out as a society. No one is going bankrupt here.

Way too true.

And yeah, that lady was a little over the top </understatement>

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That lady must drink a little too much coffee. So much she must be shitting her pants, swatting at invisible bugs and developing incurable facial tics when she's not delivering her insane prophecies.

[Shangri-laschild]

The Tim Horton's employee doesn't really need a title in all of this, since his response to everything was "... *blink stare* ...".

CL: I want a new one. No don't put it in the same bag!
Freeeeeeaaaaaak.

I don't blame the employee. I wouldn't have known what to say either.

I have to say that this second part made my day. I couldn't tell you why. It just did.

[rerant]

I have to say that this second part made my day. I couldn't tell you why. It just did.

Then my job is done.
*dusts off hands and walks away with a satisfying air*

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

I heard a prophesy that this lady needs a long, long rest.