Much Suck.

[repsac]

This is a list of some stuff I saw over the past few days. Some from as far back as St. Pat's.

1.) Pron!

Wandering around Sav taking photos after the parade, some guy comes up to me. Looks to be in his sixties or seventies, and yet he strikes me as kinda cool. May have been the "Wet Willy's" T shirt and jeans he had on. Watching me take some photos he stares some and then asks "Do you do porn?" I just stare at him, at a loss for words. He must have gotten the hint and wandered off.


2.) Kid Haircuts

Parents, please, don't use your kids to live out your dreams. Just because you always wanted a mohawk but couldn't get one, DO NOT force your little kid to have one. It looks stupid. If you must do it, then at least have a straight edge handy. Swirlies are not in style. Also, for crissake, if you're going to cut your kid's hair, at least TRY to do a good job.

3.) Yield

Look, it's not hard to understand. Pedestrians in the crosswalk are NOT targets. Meaning you should not speed up, nor should you wave with your middle finger, and lastly please do not get angry when I drop something I need to pick up.

4.) Pay Attention.

Lady walks up to the Self Service register in Wal-Mart. She stands there a good minute or two before looking around and telling everyone "This is why I hate Wal-Mart. There's never anyone at the register. Damn light's on, but where's the cashier!?"

5) Write it down.

If you can not pronounce, or remember the name of the band whose CD you're looking for, don't expect the guy behind the counter to know either. WRITE it down. That way they won't spend an hour looking for "Crud" when you mean "Creed."

There's more coming, but I need to change shirts. Apparently I'm allergic to the fabric.

[Becks]

"Do you do porn?"

You should've told him that you only do so for your own personal enjoyment.

[digilight]

Pedestrians in the crosswalk are NOT targets.

I call bullshit on this one, I think they make wonderful targets.



please note: above comment is intended for entertainment purposes only, the Greatbigassgoblincorporation do not intend to suggest that you should intentionaly aim for pedestrians in the crosswalk as you zoom by with out stoping. If you were to hit one, that means that you need to visit the eye doctor because you were unable to judge the correct distance available. Remember, close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades.

[repsac]

Now that I've had time to wash the shirt and am no longer itching to death, I've more.

6.) Fish MURDERER!

Not so much sucky as strange. I bought 9 fish yesterday to go in my huge tank. I wait the prescribed 30 min, net them out of the bag and drop them in with the others. (note, these guys were tiny...well other than the eel) Within minutes, my Kissing Gouramies were looking up at me like "OH MY GOD! HELP!" the 9 new fish were DEAD. Very dead. Fishing them out I grumble and put them on ice. Heading into town today, I get my cash back and head back to the fish Dept. The guy there is shocked, having never seen that happen before. So he gives me 4 new fish 2 koi and 2 more gouramies. As I check out, the girl who rang me up the first time asks something about the fish I bought before to which I respond they were all dead. I kid you not she looks dead at me and says hushed. "Fish Murderer!"

7.) Scarred for life.

Wandering through clothing, I see some guy looking at a number of jeans. He seems to have several sizes, and comments as I near. "I hate it when I can't remember my size." (side note: How do you forget what size you wear? I can understand that in length since even my size varies...but waist?) Wandering a bit further I happen to look back only to see this guy suddenly drop his pants revealing greyed underpants as he searches for what size he has on. I did not need to see that.

8.) It won't work.

While returning the fish, a lady in front of me was returning a wii. The reason? Apparently it wouldn't play the PS3 games she had purchased. Claims she's never buying a sony product again.

[Trayol]

While returning the fish, a lady in front of me was returning a wii. The reason? Apparently it wouldn't play the PS3 games she had purchased. Claims she's never buying a sony product again.

Wait...What??..How??? My brain!!!!!!

[BookstoreEscapee]

7.) Scarred for life.

For a split second I was hoping you were going to say he dropped the jeans he was looking at. Alas, I read fast and my hope quickly died.

What caused the fish to die? Was it the water temperature? I've only ever had goldfish as a kid and they never lasted more than a week. So I don't know much about good fishkeeping.

[ArenaBoy]

2.) Kid Haircuts

Parents, please, don't use your kids to live out your dreams. Just because you always wanted a mohawk but couldn't get one, DO NOT force your little kid to have one. It looks stupid. If you must do it, then at least have a straight edge handy. Swirlies are not in style. Also, for crissake, if you're going to cut your kid's hair, at least TRY to do a good job.

Truth be told, I was one of those kids who wanted a mohawk.

[Pagan]

4.) Pay Attention.

Lady walks up to the Self Service register in Wal-Mart. She stands there a good minute or two before looking around and telling everyone "This is why I hate Wal-Mart. There's never anyone at the register. Damn light's on, but where's the cashier!?"

I have to say, I'm really surprised this doesn't happen more often around here.

5) Write it down.

If you can not pronounce, or remember the name of the band whose CD you're looking for, don't expect the guy behind the counter to know either. WRITE it down. That way they won't spend an hour looking for "Crud" when you mean "Creed."

Oh. My. F***ing. Goddess. I can't remember how many times this kind of thing would happen and the green&white place. "Yeah, you had a red book on the New Releases table 6 months ago. Do you know where it is?" "But....but it was on Oprah today! You have to know what it was!"

How come we're the only people that can figure out to write down what we're looking for? Oh, nevermind, I just remember what site this is!

8.) It won't work.

While returning the fish, a lady in front of me was returning a wii. The reason? Apparently it wouldn't play the PS3 games she had purchased. Claims she's never buying a sony product again.

Oy. I just heard millions of brain cells suddenly cry out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

[Difdi]

I kid you not she looks dead at me and says hushed. "Fish Murderer!"

To which, had I been there, I would have whispered back in an equally hushed whisper "Animal enslaver!"

Claims she's never buying a sony product again.

And she's able to walk and breathe at the same time?!?

[ArcticChicken]

Claims she's never buying a sony product again.

"Ma'am, you need to actually buy a Sony product before you can refuse to buy any more of them."

[Imogene]

. "Yeah, you had a red book on the New Releases table 6 months ago. Do you know where it is?"

*blushes* I did that once... at a Big Red bookstore... I'd seen a book in passing a few weeks before, and had gone to the library in an attempt to rent it first, but could not for the life of me come up with the title. So, I returned to said Big Red Bookstore (I love you guys, by the way), and went to information, and apparently got the only worker who had my taste in books, as I told her, "Yeah... there was a book on your buy 2 get 1 free table a few weeks ago, about working, and getting by, in a retail position, by the guy who does the comic strip Retail. And I've checked the store, particularly the comic/humor area, where I would imagine this tongue-in-cheek social commentary to be, but I really can't find this book. Can you help me?"
She looks at me, and dawning lights her eyes. "Oh, that one about how to be a good retail drone? Yeah, I know what you're talking about... I think it was called something like, "Pretending for Success"..."
She did a few quick searches, she finds out it's actually in the business section, and takes me over there, and we found it. Huzzah.

[Geek King]

While returning the fish, a lady in front of me was returning a wii. The reason? Apparently it wouldn't play the PS3 games she had purchased. Claims she's never buying a sony product again.

<sound of one pound of mashed potatoes (russets) being blown out a straw>

Great...there goes the brain again. One moment while I catch the little bastard.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

5) Write it down.

If you can not pronounce, or remember the name of the band whose CD you're looking for, don't expect the guy behind the counter to know either. WRITE it down. That way they won't spend an hour looking for "Crud" when you mean "Creed."

Even though "Crud" is a more accurate description of the CD's contents?

[repsac]

Never quite figured out what did the fish in. Now I've got to very fat, and happy Koi, and a pair of skittish little blue gouramies. The fish guy was really nice, since I didn't have to pay for the fishies. Sure, it's something around ten bucks worth of fish, but I got em free

New suck: (Same old suck, just repackaged)

I need help!

Customer comes up to me while I'm in the hardware store. (note, no uniforms for the store) As I persue the various two by fours they offer, this lady stands with a hand on her hip. After a few moments of clearing her throat she finally says "I need help!" looking back I just nod. "yeah, I know the feeling." Picking one not too warped, I turn to walk off to which she again "ahems" "I NEED HELP!" this time it's louder. I didn't really slow down, saying "Then find someone to help you." When I reach the register she's right there, having followed me up front. "I...NEED....HELP!!!" This time she enunciates each word, like I can't understand her. Looking over I finally groan. "Lady...I...don't....work....here." Repeating it in the same tone she used with me. She gets all huffy, turns and stomps off. Life is good.

[Pagan]

There has got to be some sort of pheremone or something that we give off!