Revenge Is Cold & Sticky-Sweet

[calulu]

Ran into a hated former coworker this morning, one that accused me of faking and denied me medical attention during the last allergic reaction shock I had at work. I was beyond sucky but it felt so damn good!

Whappacino With A Frappacino!

Or don't piss me off or I might beat you down with a frozen drink by the side of the road at some point.

I didn't act very Xian this morning, more ExLaxian.

This morning a much hated spectre from my past pulled up next to me at the stoplight as I sucked down a a frozen chai tea frappe on my way to work. Bitchy assclown Nurse Brandine in her tricked out cheap Chrysler with expensive rims. What kind of fool puts thousand dollar rims on a Neon? Some idiot redneck from Madison County like Brandine.

She rolled down her window and simpered over at me, shouting about she was wondering how I'd been, a nasty smile on her face.

When I looked into those wide set bovine eyes all the crap I'd been forced to endure from her just came rushing back, including the drama she caused at the Crazy Clinic over the mustache on the photograph, and I lost it. Backstory: someone drew a mustache on one of the zillions of photos of her kid at work, on the outside glass with a dry erase marker, she called the cops for 'destruction of personal property' and demanded management punish EVERYONE for something that could be swiped away with a tissue. Typical behavior from her, she thrived on gossiping and stirring the pot all the time and lived to torture everyone at work. Very hated.

Actually 'lost it' is sort of the understatement of the year. My high dose steroids, stress, lack of sleep, annoyance at her ridiculousness mixed with my own evil reared its Medusa styled hydra head and I gave her the mega warhead bitchslap of all times.

Before I could help myself I slid across the car, brought down the window and shouted a stream of obscenities so vile I'm sure I caused a rip in the time-space continuum. Started with 'Cunt' and ended up some suggestions for biologically impossible acts before beaning Brandine between the cow eyes with my Frappacino, leaving her dripping with frozen goo in her hair, face, interior and exterior of her car, looking like she's been as surprised as someone who was trying to tease a kitten and is seeing their lower intestine turned into circus confetti by the kitten.

Evil, but I felt worlds better and stronger as I sped away. My last glimpse of Brandine before that moment was the day I was fired and I was laying on the ground puking and gasping for breath as she stood above me sneering that I was faking.

I'll show you faking!

Not sure I'd recommend assault with a coffee drink to everyone but damn, pwnage feels awesome!

[IT Grunt]

Yeah, maybe a tad over the top, but I have to agree, that had to feel damn good. Actually making the attempt to ask you about things with that snarky grin on her face, she was practically begging for it. No matter how you look at it, pwnage was dealt.

[RedRoseSpiral]

Nice pwnage! One suggestion, bold the part where she said you were faking an allergic reaction.

[Aethian]

Its complete and utter pwnage...would be even better complete and utter pwnage if we have a link to a story where she claimed that you had a faked allergic reaction.

[Sheldonrs]

Am I the only one here who thinks that was a terrible thing to do...


to a Frappucino?

[crazylegs]

Revenge it may be but given her previous history at involving the police at a drop of the hat assaulting her and throwing a drink over her property may not have been the most prudent act...

[calulu]

I'll have to link to the story of my firing in my old job blog where I carefully listed the day to day stupid at the clinic for two months including the day she sneered at me as I was sick.

The day I was canned for having a combination allergic reaction/panic attack and Brandine's behavior in it. Every one of the doctors is nicknamed for their corresponding "House" doctor-alike in the blog.

All the tricks this hateful cow pulled would make a fine or a day in jail feel very worthwhile. Besides, she needs witnesses and proof of damages. But I am expecting to hear from the law, surprised they didn't show up at my job yesterday. She called the law at work something like three times alleging someone had 'touched' her new Neon and scratched the paint because they drew a smilely face in the snow on the hood, the baby photo mustache with dry erase on the glass and because she took off one of her expensive rings in the lab, forgot it there and insisted one of us stole it. Turned up in a pawn shop later having been lifted and pawned by a patient. Got to where the local cops treated her rants of others out to get her very lightly.

[FenigDurak]

Am I the only one here who thinks that was a terrible thing to do...


to a Frappucino?

I'm with you on that one! What a waste of tasty frozen goodness.

[Fenrus]

Not that we condone such violence against people...

That sounds like fun... too bad my frapp is all melted... I could do that to a certain co-irker...

[Ree]

Your title is a play on the proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
There's a meaning for that phrase, and it covers the CS policy on tales of revenge.

CS doesn't condone revenge or violence against others.

I'm happy that you were finally able to let loose on her and make her aware of how much crap she put you through, but as for the last part, that went a little too far.

That was pretty poor impulse control.

I know what it's like to want to do something like that. I have a really bad temper and a tendency to throw things when I am really pissed, but I honestly don't think I could bring myself to actually throw something, especially not something I paid good money for and was enjoying, at another person and ruin their car upholstery, or whatever.

I really hope she doesn't come after you with assault charges, or try to sue you in small claims for damages to her car.
She really sounds like the type to do that.

[calulu]

Did I mention I'm on high dose steroids right now and I have been known to turn into someone lacking self control on high dose steroids. I'm dealing with a serious medical condition, I'm on meds that are making me super jumped up even with the help of Xanax and she got in my face. It was wrong but I still cannot make myself feel too badly about what I did. Just grateful the cops haven't visited me and that my teens didn't get to see Mom losing it like that. This was an unusual break from reality for me. I immediately called my doc and got my tranks adjusted. I react very badly to the whole steroids and/or chemo thing, messes with your brain chemistry.

[marasbaras]

I'm sure that felt really good.

It's too bad you didn't have a camera handy. A picture of her dripping with the Frap would be good for times when you're feeling angry at her or for when you're thinking about doing something that's possibly less-than-wise again.

that my teens didn't get to see Mom losing it like that

Definitely good ... our 4 year old copies everything we do. I know that I've made some serious adjustments to how I react to things to prevent him from being like grumpy old dad.

I hope she doesn't press charges. That'd really make things messy. It sounds like you have enough to deal with right now without some monster getting on your case.

[csdrone]

What Ree said. I frankly find it useless to carry hate about co-irkers with me. There are people we do not care for anywhere and to waste a frozen drink ( for the innocent Frap) on someone as silly as her leads to the question of why? You come across as the bad one. A polite but chilly "hi" and walking or driving away would have been the adult thing to do. And avoided the possibility of police involvement and an arrest for a momentary lapse of reason. remember Success is the greatest revenge.

[marasbaras]

I think the best thing to do in those situations is to simply ignore the jerk.

And, I do know that we don't condone violence against people here ... but I happen to believe that the Frap got what it deserved. All Fraps deserve to be thrown away, against walls, on the ground, etc. They are disgusting vile drinks that deserve to be flushed into the sewers.

There, I said it!

If you want a yummy cold drink, get a proper one like a cherry Slurpee.

[RetailWorkhorse]

I think the best thing to do in those situations is to simply ignore the jerk.

And, I do know that we don't condone violence against people here ... but I happen to believe that the Frap got what it deserved. All Fraps deserve to be thrown away, against walls, on the ground, etc. They are disgusting vile drinks that deserve to be flushed into the sewers.

There, I said it!

If you want a yummy cold drink, get a proper one like a cherry Slurpee.

Could sub a nice cup of iced tea? Can tea be made into a Slurpee in the blender? What about jello? Can tea be made into jello? Would it taste good? Would anyone like to help me make a batch and try it?