Mom the SC

[blas]

So, not having a car the past two weeks, I've had to rely on various people to give me rides to and from work. Unfortunately, we are having layoffs at work and many people are gone for a few days (ironically, the ones that live in the same city as me!) and because of that, my mom had to pick me up way early yesterday and I had to pack my stuff up to get ready there.

I wanted to stop at McDonalds for dinner. Now, I will probably post more about my mom's driving in a different section, but her driving is atrocious. She is the single most paranoid driver on the road. She's only had her license for like, 6 months, I'll give her that.....but she is too in love and dependent on her brake pedal....oh the money she's going to have to spend to get her brakes fixed twice every year....

Anyway, let's get to the point. For whatever reason, despite living in this city for almost 5 years now, she cannot remember where anything is. I was trying to direct her to McDonalds drive thru. I set her off and it turned her into a giant SC.

I said "Ok Mom, do you see that enter sign..."

Mom slams on the brakes. Mistake #1.....blas, remind yourself to not tell her to turn until it's time, she JAMS the brakes. I nearly went through the windshield. I tell her "No, it's right up here....don't slam the brakes like that, you could get rear ended or-"

Mom screams "You tell me what to do ONE more time, and you're walking!"

She pulls up to the drive thru and orders. As pissed as she is and not having any sense of direction, she nearly blows past the 1st window, where I tell her "Mom, STOP!" and she jammed the brakes again, and again I nearly went through the windshield (I'd wear my seat belt, but the last time she rammed the brakes when I had my seatbelt on, I nearly threw up from the squeeze).

The girl told her the wrong amount. Probably another person's total....there were other cars and the girl was just a KID for Pete's sake.

Mom goes off the handle, gets distracted, the car starts coasting, she rams the brake again and screams "EXCUSE ME?! WHAT WAS THAT?!"

The girl looks like she's going to cry. She realizes her mistake and fixes it and my mom hands over her debit card.

She is so riled up by this point that she doesn't realize she's about to blow past the 3rd window (the pick up window) and is so far away from the window, the girl has to really reach far to get us our drink and food.

The girl was friendly and playful, and said "Wow, a little far out here...."

Mom SNAPS at her, yelling "Well, that's just TOO BAD, isn't it now?!" and nearly runs over two girls who were walking out the door.

Yeah....I won't be showing my face there anytime soon unless I have makeup on and I'm not in my pjs or with my mom or in that car. They'll never recognize me then!

[Daskinor]

Ahh mothers

My mother got her brand new car and was totally in love with it. She had it for a little over 100k miles. Guess how many times she had the oil changed



wait for it






10!


Oh and other maintenance like you know transmission fluid, belts and refrigerant. Never ever ever. So when the car died, Engine ceased up at about 65 MPH. She acted real surprised and blamed everyone but herself. She was lucky she went into a ditch. I seen the remains of cars that tried to do back flips, or the wheels popped off.


Well next she bought a little Chevy s10 pickup to do yard sales and ebay with. She bought this huge entertainment center of someone about 75 miles away from where she lives. She picks me up and I go with her to help. Things she did wrong...

- the unit was huge, there is no way in HELL she could get that into the house. They got it out by taking out sliding doors. We do not have that luxury. She takes it any way over my protests.

-She brought with her 2 bungee cords. FRICKEN 2!!!!!! I keep 15 under my spare tire! She never said anything. However it was raining a little so she was smart enough to bring a tarp.

Well we get the unit loaded and I was using what cords I had to secure the thing to the truck. Then she sees I am not using the tarp.

Mom - "Why are you not using the tarp?"
Me- "I need to secure the Entertainment center to the truck otherwise it could spill out."
Mom- "Its to heavy it wont go anywhere"
Me- "Oh yes it can"
Mom- "no it cant"
Me- "I am not taking the risk"
Mom- "Its no risk it is heavy as hell, it wont go anywhere"
Me- "Fine when you kill someone I am so going to rat you to the cops. I wash my hands completely of it"
Mom- "Fine"


So I put the tarp over the unit and use the bungee cables to hold the tarp on. We drive down the road and everything is ok until we are like 10 minutes from home. And she takes a 45MPH turn at 65MPH. The thing tumbles right out as if it was a card board box and smashes on the side of the road. She starts freaking out and it was a few minutes before we got back to it and picked up the remains.

We get back in the truck and she is visibly upset and angry at the same time. I could not help myself so I said. "You know 'I told you so' will not cut it"

Oh and at the next family gathering she tried to blame it on me. So I had to tell the whole embarrassing story. Her response;

"Well you should of been more animate about what could of happened"

[draftermatt]

Heh, you reminded me of the time my mother backed into my truck with her car.

She starts yelling at me for parking it where I did. I asked how is this my fault? You could have seen it? "Well I never look behind me when I back out of the garage!"

She clammed up when I said "so it's my fault you don't watch where you're going?"

[Dreamstalker]

"Well you should of been more animate about what could of happened"

Ummm...who to the what now?!

Ohhhh, I get it, you were supposed to tell her every tiny detail about what could possibly go wrong (and then get yelled at for being 'gloomy' I suppose).

Some people think tarps are magic. What type of magic I know not...

[blas]

Oh, right about now I could write a book about my mom and what she's yelled at me for. In most recent times, my car!

In fact, she told my father to tell me "Once this whole thing is over and your car is fixed, you better start taking better care of your vehicle from now on!"

Yes, because water pumps are something you can really control and see coming. I really have the time and desire to take all that crap apart and inspect it every day.

Besides...out of everyone in my family, I am the most responsible one with vehicles. I don't pound the crap out of my car, I don't jam my brakes and cause wear and tear (ahem, MOM!) and I don't put shit off until something really bad goes wrong. (aka, my dad told me to keep driving my Tempo because there was nothing wrong with it...the brakes went out a few days later!)

[Ironclad Alibi]

So I put the tarp over the unit and use the bungee cables to hold the tarp on. We drive down the road and everything is ok until we are like 10 minutes from home. And she takes a 45MPH turn at 65MPH. The thing tumbles right out as if it was a card board box and smashes on the side of the road. She starts freaking out and it was a few minutes before we got back to it and picked up the remains.

Your mother reminds me of Mikey, a former coworker. He decided to buy a new bathroom vanity. He hooked his small utility trailer onto his car, and drove to the local hardware emporium. He purchased a bathroom vanity and placed it on the trailer. He figured it was heavy enough to stay on the trailer by itself, without tie downs. He drove home over a route that included an interstate highway. When he got home, the vanity was gone. To my knowledge, it was never seen again.

[Primer]

...I tell her "Mom, STOP!" and she jammed the brakes again, and again I nearly went through the windshield (I'd wear my seat belt, but the last time she rammed the brakes when I had my seatbelt on, I nearly threw up from the squeeze).

Wear your seatbelt! It'd be better to puke and live, than to to go through the windshield and not! Especially, if you're traveling at more than 5 mph and in a parking lot!

Your mother reminds me of Mikey, a former coworker. He decided to buy a new bathroom vanity. He hooked his small utility trailer onto his car, and drove to the local hardware emporium. He purchased a bathroom vanity and placed it on the trailer. He figured it was heavy enough to stay on the trailer by itself, without tie downs. He drove home over a route that included an interstate highway. When he got home, the vanity was gone. To my knowledge, it was never seen again.

If that had been a weed eater in south Texas, about 40 miles from Corpus Christi, I'd say that I have it, and thanks for the wedding present! We saw the box sitting in the middle (turn lane) of the highway just outside of a town, and stopped just to get the box out of the roadway. It was a brand new gas-powered name brand weed eater! We gave it a good home.

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

why can't parents drive? I saved my dad from 2 accidents in 2 days once, and he only drives about 25 miles a day, and half of that is after midnight when there's no traffic, and he jams on the brakes too(I think it has to do with the fact that he drives with one foot on the brake). the only accidents he ever gets in are when he gets rear ended, so that's good, but every day i make smart ass comments about his braking and how fast he takes corners, and if it's raining and he doesn't get the wipers on quickly the fact that we've established that it's important that I see when he's driving. the other day I asked how he doesn't go through more tires.

my mom just has me drive

[blas]

I'm pretty convinced my mom drives with one foot on the brake as well. I am so scared for her it isn't even funny. I am petrified that she's going to get rear ended or cause a huge pile-up. The slightest thing will scare her, and her only comfort is slamming that brake..........

[Daskinor]

I have not seen my mothers new car until Sunday.



She has already beat the damn thing to death and its a 2006. She has completely ignored EVERY SINGLE MAINTANCE she needs for that car. And she is wondering why the damn thing wont start when it rains. And It looks like she has bounced every corner into something.

So me and my brother steal it and take it to our fathers auto shop. The timing belt was on its last legs, I swear another mile it would of broke. The distributor wires where corroded as hell. The air filter must of weighed over 3 pounds. And the Oil, my god the oil. It was so thick and black I thought it would devour me like Armus, the skin of evil. (<-- star trek: ntg joke) The stuff took forever to drain, and we had to flush the engine twice to get all the solid junk out. The transmission fluid was in the same sorry shape. Then we get to the tires, all low 2 had nails in them.

After a tuneup and all the other maintenance she should of had we return the car, it runs REALLY GOOD. It sounds good. We even buff out all the paint she picked up from other objects. First things out of her mouth.

"You better not of broken anything on it."


People wonder why I talk to my mother 3 times a year.

[blas]

Hahaha that made me chuckle (forgive me, I don't mean to be rude, I just totally feel for you on that one).

Just as much as it pisses me off that my father is convinced that I am the one who made my water pump seize and caused the engine damage, it makes me giggle that my mom has no idea what to do with cars and unless my father is able to keep up with the preventative maintenance with her car, her car is one day going to end up just as farked up, if not worse, than mine is right now.

It made everyone at work laugh too, when I told everyone that my dad blames me for my car. Yes.....I totally did it on purpose. I knew it was going to happen. And I totally bent the valve by driving it 1/4 mile. There is NO way my little brother and his friends could have forgotten to put something back together or timed it so wrong that it bent the valve and damaged a piston. No way in the WOOOORLD

Gotta love family sometimes...

[Daskinor]

Ahh same mentality here.

Apparently it is my fault when I pick up a nail off the road, because I was not driving carefully enough .

Its also my fault when the rear wheel well started to rust near the weld points.

And of course my father the master mechanic who know where every wire in any Volvo goes is wrong when he disagrees.