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Bubble Girl? (short)

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  • Bubble Girl? (short)

    Wound up in line at lunchtime today behind this woman who was apparently the mother of Tod Lubitch's female counterpart, guessing from these actual words I heard coming from her mouth.

    "Yeah, she can't have bread, she doesn't like chicken or fish, I don't like for her to eat anything too greasy or spicy, and there's something wrong with tomatoes these days so she can't have those or anything that might have touched them, what do you recommend?"

    Which wouldn't have been so strange, I suppose, until I looked around and remembered I was not in some sort of actual "restaurant"...we were in BURGER KING.

    "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

  • #2
    uh... my recommendation would be frozen water?
    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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    • #3
      haven't heard of all those salmonella poisonings in Texas? and parts of the south west? theyr'e getting it from raw tomatoes

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      • #4
        i recommend:

        alpo.
        look! it's ghengis khan!
        Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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        • #5
          I know of someone who would only eat Kraft macaroni and cheese, with Heinz catchup, and hot dogs. The worst part? He was in incredibly good health. Now, how is that fair?
          The High Priest is an Illusion!

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          • #6
            WOrked with a young guy once that would eat no veggies, fruit or meat. He subsisted almost entirely on Burger King fried cheese, french fries and shakes. Of course he was as wide as he was tall.
            "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

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            • #7
              I feel very very very sorry for that kid! Seriously!

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              • #8
                Does those Hershey's Pies count as "bread"? Sorry, but they're so soo yummy. XD
                "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

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                • #9
                  Haha...

                  I saw a couple go into Subway once and while the guy ordered a regular sub (or whatever), the girl said, "well... they usually just make me one with just cheese." Yes, she ordered a cheese sandwich. In Subway.

                  Would make sense if she was 5, but I'm pretty sure she was at least 20.

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                  • #10
                    A friend of mine is something of a picky eater and on a recent visit to Subway he had a footlong with just cheese.
                    "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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                    • #11
                      The bread I can understand if she's celiac. But for the rest? at a burger king??? wtf........

                      Let's see. If she's celiac, no fries, they have gluten too afaik. Hmmm no apple pie, no burger at all. No salads (tomatoes). o.O pretty much the only thing I can think of she could have there are milkshakes and icecreams....
                      I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

                      "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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                      • #12
                        Pick the tomatoes out of the salad maybe? Get it with grilled chicken instead of fried, no croutons, maybe cheese, probably no dressing. Pretty much a lame salad.
                        "I don't have an anger problem I have an idiot problem!" - Hank Hill

                        When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt, run around in little circles, wave your arms and shout!

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                        • #13
                          Gluten in fries? Do they have some sort of flour in there to make them from the reformed potatoes?

                          Rapscallion

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Rapscallion View Post
                            Gluten in fries? Do they have some sort of flour in there to make them from the reformed potatoes?

                            Rapscallion
                            BK fries in the UK have a 'crispy coating', either flour dredged or a thin batter at a guess. That and reformed potato goop may use flour as a binding agent.
                            Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

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                            • #15
                              Well Raps afaik my BF shouldn't eat potatoes since they're high in starch (sugars) and afaik starches contain glutten but I might be totally wrong there.
                              I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

                              "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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