Am I allowed to be upset about this?

[sixums]

I want to start off this post by saying yes, technically the cashier was in the right, and I fully support her decision. I don't approve of the way she handled it however, and just wanted some opinions. Also, we live in New Hampshire.

My boyfriend is 21. I am not. It frustrates me sometimes, but I am more than supportive of the drinking laws and harsh punishments for selling alcohol to minors. I also feel for stores that are strict about their prevention to selling of alcohol to potential minors.

Tonight the boy and I decided to stop over at WalMart to pick up a couple things. He wanted to get a case of Mike's hard drinks (the assorted variety) and a six pack of Sam Adams Summer Ale. The Mikes is for our friends who are coming over for the 4th of July, who are all over 21, and the Sams was for himself. I in no way associate myself with the alcohol because I won't be drinking any of it and don't want to cause problems with him purchasing it. We pick up a few other things and go to the registers, where it's packed. A woman who's going to be relieving another cashier waves at us to come to a closed lane to run our few purchases through (some Vitamin waters, cheesecake, chips and his beer). I pay for the waters and cheesecake, run my card, everything's dandy. He puts the beers up and shows his license. She then turns to me and asks for my ID as well, stating that she won't sell it to him unless we're both over 21. I tell her I'm not, and my bf expresses surprise, because we've never had this kind of thing happen to us before. She tells us that it's against the law for one person to buy alcohol if they are obviously with another person that is underage, and that the store could lose it's liquor license if caught. My bf doesn't press, she takes the beers and we pay for the chips and leave.

On the car ride home we're talking, because it seems very suspicious that she said this. We've never had a problem in WalMart or any sort of grocery store before. We stop at a 7-11 because he still wants a beer to drink tonight when we get home. The cashier is a friend of his, so he brings it up. Cashier replies that it's the discretion of the store and the cashier whether or not to sell if they fear a minor might be drinking the alcohol a legal-aged person is purchasing. There is no such law.

A couple of things on this. Yes, thinking back, it is suspicious. He was buying more than a little alcohol, and we were obviously together. Also, it's the 4th of July tomorrow, and there will be a lot of drunk people. The thing that really grinds my gears is that the woman, who was in her upper 40s, felt the need to lie to us about the law in order to get us to comply. If she had calmly explained that it's up to the seller to determine whether a sale is suspicious, and because I was underaged she didn't feel comfortable selling him alcohol, we would have been just as pleasant than if she had told us it was against the law. I feel that she felt the need to lie to us because we were "kids".

Lady, I'm an adult. I'm not going to flip out and throw a tantrum because you're within your right to withhold a sale. The boyfriend was pissed though. He wanted that Sam Adams. He's going to be going to the store tomorrow without me, as I refuse to go with him for fear of further incident. And no, I'm not going to be drinking.

[rerant]

I guess it varies state-to-state, but from what I've learned from the board is generally that IS the law - same goes for cigarettes.
Now New England may not have this law, but apparently it's not an uncommon thing.

Here it doesn't matter and back when my younger friends were underage if we went to buy alcohol together I would make sure they didn't even touch any of the bottles (as per my ex who, when we met, was five years my senior and two years older than the legal drinking age who would told me they wouldn't let him buy anything if I touched any of the bottles, being that I was underage).

I would also buy cigarettes with underage people with me and they were never asked for ID. Hell one guy at my work forgot his ID so, just in case he was asked, I bought his cigarettes for him. So two people in the store, one person paying, but buying two different packs of smokes. Obviously one is likely for the other person there.
No one ever said a thing.

But I live in Canada where rules aren't quite as strict. That and I'm in Toronto and cops have more pressing things to attend to than someone buying beer while their underage friend is with them.

[Broomjockey]

I'm with Rerant. From what I know independently, and the stories I've heard on here, most states do have that law. It's here in Canada too, as the first time I ever tried to buy booze I got hit by that since I didn't actually *have* any ID, so the cashier had to kick me out. (I was old enough)

[ArcticChicken]

The first store I worked in, in NY, had that as store policy, perhaps the cashier was misinformed? The other thing I can think of is that a lot, I'd even go so far as to say most, underage adults (you know what I mean), would in fact, have pitched a bitch in your situation, and the cashier was just trying not to get yelled at. She had no way of knowing that you are one of the relatively few mature people in our age group.

That being said, you are allowed to be upset that she lied to you, but, personally, wouldn't have taken it badly, beyond some mild irritation at the extra trip.

[anniesbar]

As one of the few "old enough" cashiers at my store I know the laws here pretty well and if two or more are together I am to card them all. Even if one is not old enough or no ID -- No Sell! I have denied two sisters shopping together, even handed the situation over to a manager for a mother/daughter pair -- swear she had her when she was 6!!!!!!!!!! The $1000 fine and loss of job for selling to a minor makes me stick to those laws!!!!

[Listerfiend]

I had a similar experience a few weeks ago. Looooong story short, I was at the store I frequent whose cashiers have never asked for my ID when I was with my boyfriend purchasing alcohol. We were getting some pizza and other stuff in addition to a 6-pack of beer (for me). Being that I didn't know that the beer I liked was going to be on sale (and therefore not even anticipating getting it to begin with), I neglected to bring my purse (with my ID in it) with me. Unfortunately one of my friends was with us, and she's 20. Basically the supervisor (forced us to use the U-Scans even though we knew we'd be waiting forever for someone to verify the age-restricted item, so she wasn't our cashier per se) wanted all of our IDs and so since I didn't have mine and the friend was 20 I told her just to void the beer from the sale. She does, but she still checked my boyfriend's ID (AFTER the void). He asked her why she needed his ID out of curiosity, and she told him that we had "some wine or something" which caused me to show her the contents of our two bags--the closest thing to "wine" being a 6-pack of ginger ale in cans; during this she went on about "if there's 5 or more people in a party buying alcohol all their IDs have to be checked." I wish she didn't blatantly LIE to us and instead just say "no ID, no booze." Plus, I'm wondering who the other two people were, since there were only three of us...

[the_std]

I've had the same thing happen to me. I'm in Canada, and I was going shopping with a few friends and my mom while we were on vacation in Alberta. There, the legal drinking age is 18, and we were all of age, but only my mom and one friend were buying booze, so my other friend and I just sat on the sidelines and watched. When it came time for them to pay, the cashier asked us for ID too because we had come in with them and obviously knew them.

I don't begrudge these people anything, and the cashier was probably just being careful with her job. Even if it wasn't a law, management could come down heavy on her with policies and things. It pays to be safe, I guess.

[marasbaras]

There are a LOT of misinformed workers out there when it comes to laws vs. corporate policies. My bet: she was one of them.

[Sliceanddice]

i fully believe in complying with legal age limits.
But.
Awhile ago i was making a vegan tofu chocolate pie.
And i need coffe liquer.... after dee dee moment when i reliese if alcohol, i smile embarrassed at my dad. He has to buy it for me because i was only 20. he even told the lady it was for me cause i was cooking.
she sold to my dad and he told her it was for legal cooking porposes not for me to drink.
your things is kind of silly when i think of mine
btw i bought a full bottel because i needed 1 tbsp.... so worth lol

[Jack7957]

I would be an asshole cashier depending on my mood. Friday nights were the worst, we had two colleges near our store. It was not uncommon to see a group come in, grab a cart and head for the beer aisle, watch them all pick out what they wanted, load it up, then everyone but the one legal person head out the door. (The beer aisles were right in line with the registers so you could see everything.) If the person was in my aisle, I'd tell them before they even started unloading that I would need to see their friends ID also, or no sale. 99% of the time, they'd start stammering that they "had come in alone", which I would then start describing what their friends were wearing and what each one picked out. I would then tell them to go across the street to the other store and make sure thier friends stayed in the car when they go to buy beer.

[blas]

As far as I know, most places will card everyone in the party just to CYA.

Now, one time my former roomate and I were total dumbasses....

I needed makeup and he needed alcohol. At the time, I didn't drink, and I told him they'd card us both if we went together, but he was adament we were only going to go to one store.

So we went into WalMart. Me in one door, him in the other door on the other side of the store and got our stuff.

We met at the same check out (big mistake) and pretended to be old friends. The cashier saw him say "Hey, what's up?" and whatnot.

The cashier saw that we'd arrived seperately and no one else would have thought we were together. He said "Ok, I need to see both your IDs, NOW!"

My roomate said "We aren't together."

The cashier said "Show me them!"

My roomate said "We aren't together. If you don't want to believe that, I'll leave the beer here and go somewhere else."

For some reason, the cashier then just checked his ID and sold him the beer. He totally ignored me my entire transaction and watched my roomate go out the door....he even dropped my change all over the belt because he wasn't watching anything else but my roomate.

I started to walk away, the next customer put their stuff down, and the cashier LEFT HIS REGISTER and followed me. My roomate was already on the way to his car. He then yelled at the top of his lungs "YOU....get back here NOW!"

My roomate was like "Wtf?" and he came back. The cashier then bellowed "You're going to go return that beer RIGHT NOW....I KNOW you're together!"

My roomate said "We are not together and if you don't stop following her and harrassing me, I'm going to want to see your manager."

The cashier then said "If you don't return that beer right now I'm calling the police for you buying beer for a minor."

My roomate said "We AREN'T together and you didn't card her. You don't even know how old she is. Get your manager right now you fucking prick!"

The cashier then tried to GRAB my roomate and said "Get back in here or I'm calling the cops!"

Now bear in mind, EVERYONE walking in and out of WalMart heard the entire exchange. It was HUMILIATING!

He ended up going to customer service to return the beer (and it was 8:58 PM, two more minutes and ALL liquor sales would be over for the day and the return would not have been allowed). While my roomate was doing that, I was talking to the manager while the cashier who STILL had abandoned his register and confused customers was giving us the catbutt face and would NOT go back until both my roomate and I left.

He obviously was never fired, as he still works there. Probably not even talked to about trying to grab a customer and leaving his post.

That was my lesson right there. NEVER go with anyone buying liquor if you are underage and if it ever IS for you, stay in the car or at home!

[BlaqueKatt]

She tells us that it's against the law for one person to buy alcohol if they are obviously with another person that is underage, and that the store could lose it's liquor license if caught.

Here in WI it goes a step further

If Cashier A sells alcohol to person B, and person B off the premises at a party or whatever serves a minor, and said minor gets injured in an alcohol related crash-Cashier A can be sued by parents of said minor. Even though the cashier had nothing to do with it-that's how the law here is written. Also here if we see a suspected minor in the purchaser's car, it is illegal to make the sale.

which is why the story in the post above mine happened-and yes we were told to follow-and call the police if necessary to CYA

[draftermatt]

It's the law here in MD.

I was at a friends house, his parents were having a party. His dad asked us to ride along with him to store to help him get things. Then we were told to sit in the car and not get out for anything as he went to the liquor store to get beer for the party, because he didn't want to have to go elsewhere or whatever.

We were 14-15 at this point.

[zzapp the witch]

Yeah, I had an incident similar to blas' but in this case, I really didn't know this gal. You know how you just randomly start talking to a person in a store sometimes....well, we both had kids and our kids started talking to each other. Then we met up at the register, completely by accident. I made a joke "I'm stalking yoooo" and we laughed.

She was buying some wine and had her ID out for the checker. Then the checker wanted to ID me. I'm like WTF? and asked why.

Blah blah blah, we're obviously together, etc etc. Well, lady, I don't drink, its against my religion and such, besides, I don't even know this gal.

She raised her voice and ordered me to show some ID. So I said, fuck this shit, backed out and went to the next register. Gal called the front end manager, told him what she thought was going on, he got a WTF? look on his face, sent the checker on break while he finished the transaction, apologizing to both of us the whole time.

I like going to her now as she won't talk to me or look at me, and I'm all super sweet and friendly.

[sixums]

Here in WI it goes a step further

If Cashier A sells alcohol to person B, and person B off the premises at a party or whatever serves a minor, and said minor gets injured in an alcohol related crash-Cashier A can be sued by parents of said minor. Even though the cashier had nothing to do with it-that's how the law here is written. Also here if we see a suspected minor in the purchaser's car, it is illegal to make the sale.

See, now that just makes me glad I spend all my time in a state that knows how to chill.

I did get a little too grumpy over it, I think, but I absolutely despise it when people lie to me. Even if she didn't mean it, the idea that she might have done it to make us give it up when she could have been honest steams me. I get it from my mother, I think.