Independence Day Imbeciles

[The Gatekeeper]

There were plenty of idiots on the roads over the weekends. Nearly all of them were tourists, none of whom could drive worth a damn. The award for the worst went to some fool from Ontario--he decided to stop in front of me at 60mph because he couldn't figure out what exit he wanted...after which he veered across 2 lanes of oncoming traffic And yes, after I swerved to avoid him, I did give him the Pittsburgh salute. I hate to pick on Canada, but someone that stupid, no matter where they come from, deserves it. Learn to drive, or stay the hell home.

You're not picking on Canada. That kind of idiocy is not uncommon in Ontario, unfortunately. My only conclusion is that the population here is fairly high, and growing, and perhaps the gene pool has diluted a little too much. Do us a favour and kill him, please. That way he won't return here and create a drain on our medical system with the injuries caused by his incompetence/stupidity.

[Bradester]

My high school psychology teacher said of bike helmets:

"I'd rather look like a dork than suffer permanent brain damage."

Wise words.

[Becks]

They normally just glare at me, or stand there mouth agape unable to respond.

Figures.

Some people.

[Canarr]

A friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident and saved by his leather kombi. He was doing 50-60 kilometers per hour, when the car he was passing pulled over without warning and knocked him off. Hit the pavement, slid for maybe a hundred meters (about 300 feet) before he stopped.

He suffered two cracked vertebrae (which took almost two months to heal enough to that he could walk without pain) and the sliding generated enough heat that his boxers were burned into his ass.

All that through the leather. Not to mention the cracked helmet that saved him the cracked skull.

He never rode another bike after that.

[ditchdj]

I still have a thick lump of scar tissue on the back right part of my head from a puncture wound that I got from the idiot in a delivery truck that was "nice" enough to gimme a free T-bone at a 4-way stop back in '95.

[Fenrus]

I've got a co-worker who was saved just by his leathers. Rounding I-215, and hit a patch of gravel, slid for a while...

He was legally dead for 6 seconds... kinda cool story.

[Bradester]

He was legally dead for 6 seconds... kinda cool story.

Oh, wow. Definitely a cool story. Any more details?

[morgana]

My sister was in a motorcycle accident four months after she got married. She got launched off the back of the cycle when some alzheimers-patient-who-shouldn't-have-been-driving pulled out in front of her and her husband at 55 mph with less than twenty feet of clearance. They hit the back wheel well of her car; the bike went over the back of the car and landed eight feet away. Daryl landed about twenty feet away. Barb was airborne for fifty-seven feet (the police measured) and landed on her head.

She was wearing a helmet. Thank all the gods there are, she was wearing a helmet. She still suffered a fractured skull. She spent three weeks in the hospital and eighteen months learning to walk without a cane again. She still suffers minor neurological side effects, 26 years later.

But she's alive.

Always wear a helmet, boys and girls.

[protege]

I know a guy who is alive because of his helmet. (I've posted about him before...) He cracked up his sport bike in front of my grandmother's house. At the time, I didn't think much about it--quite a few redneck idiots have motorcycles with loud exhausts--until I heard the brakes lock up, followed by the crumpling of metal and shattering of plastic. I turned around just in time to hear "OH SHIT!" as the rider went flying He'd lost control on the straightaway, veered across the road, and slammed into a culvert. Had he not been wearing a helmet, he wouldn't have come away from it with only a broken shoulder. He would have died right there Good thing we were home, otherwise he might have died anyway--I was the one who called 911, and reported it. Within minutes, the paramedics and police arrived to handle it.

[tendomentis]

Not to fall too far off topic, but when I was teen I would race against my own best time on my BICYCLE (yeah, not motorcycle). At one point I was doing about 25mph (which doesn't sound fast at all) and my front wheel hit a crack and went perpendicular to my direction of travel.

After that, all I remember is lying on the ground with my right arm under me, and my bike on top of me. My head never hit the ground (despite always having my $70 helmet on at all times just in case the unthinkable happened). Instead, my right arm had taken the full impact and had snapped in three places and was bleeding out underneath me. The police measured later and said based on my launch skid mark and where I was laying, that I had flown about 40 feet through the air, landed (HARD), had my bike land on me, and slid another 5 feet on my shattered right arm (and horribly scarring my left hand and knees).

A month in the hospital, three surgeries, two titanium pins, 5 1/2 months in a cast, and 2 months of physical therapy later, I was right as rain (you know, except for the scar tissue freaking WELDED to the bone on my right wrist and the myriad of other scars from the accident).

And this was on a bicycle folks, not even a motorcycle.

Wear an f-ing helmet, for god's sake.

[Exodus212]

B: Stare fish-eyed at the big shiny object that is the Freleighmobile and stand there mesmerized with your mouth hanging open as if to say "Duh-urrrr! Am I supposed to do something? What am I supposed to do? Tell me Irv, tell me! What do you want me to do? Duhhhhhhhhh..."while I continue waving you across like a madman and saying "Go ahead! Cross the street!" thus causing passers-by to wonder if I am a recent escapee from the local loony bin or swatting at a bee or talking on a bluetooth phone or something.

I 'd at that one.

[Bella_Vixen]

I know a guy who is alive because of his helmet. (I've posted about him before...) He cracked up his sport bike in front of my grandmother's house. At the time, I didn't think much about it--quite a few redneck idiots have motorcycles with loud exhausts--until I heard the brakes lock up, followed by the crumpling of metal and shattering of plastic. I turned around just in time to hear "OH SHIT!" as the rider went flying He'd lost control on the straightaway, veered across the road, and slammed into a culvert. Had he not been wearing a helmet, he wouldn't have come away from it with only a broken shoulder. He would have died right there Good thing we were home, otherwise he might have died anyway--I was the one who called 911, and reported it. Within minutes, the paramedics and police arrived to handle it.

Jesus Christ. That sounds like Fave Ex®'s accident. Are you sure you're not in WI?

[tropicsgoddess]

In my neck of the woods, we tend to get the young dudes trying to put on a show by poppin' wheelies on the highway.

[protege]

Jesus Christ. That sounds like Fave Ex®'s accident. Are you sure you're not in WI?

Nope, down in rural SW PA

[Lace Neil Singer]

I once was knocked off my motorbike by a braindead vegetable masquerading as a car driver who was attempting to overtake me, but failed on all counts. I was doing 40mph at the time and slid up the road with the bike on me for a considerable distance. The leather jacket, boots, trousers and gloves, as well as crash helmet, saved me from considerable damage; in fact, if the bike had not landed on me, I would have escaped unscafed. I received several broken bones in my right hand and two broken ribs. Nothing else. That is why I still wear all that crap even in the summer; I'd rather be hot than dead.