Gyah!! *shudders*

[JoitheArtist]

To the lady in line behind me at the grocery store:

1. There are not that many people in line. We are not blocking the aisle. Hence, you do NOT need to crowd up right behind me so that your mouth is 5 inches from my ear. BACK OFF.

2. Regular phone calls are bad enough in grocery store lines. You are using a bluetooth device. You are using a CRAPPY bluetooth device and talking way too loudly into it. And into my ear, I might add.

3. No one at the grocery store wants to hear about the cancerous goo that the doctors found in your friend's body. I am using your words exactly. Cancerous. Goo. Thank you, I think I lost my appetite for the dinner I just bought.

GYAH! *shudders*

[hopie144]

To the lady in line behind me at the grocery store:

1. There are not that many people in line. We are not blocking the aisle. Hence, you do NOT need to crowd up right behind me so that your mouth is 5 inches from my ear. BACK OFF.

Something similar happened the other day to me at the Dollar Store. I hate, hate, hate going to a store late in the afternoon, the day before a holiday....I needed to get some stuff for a party....and it was freaking crowded.
Anyways, I was standing in line, and this lady was right on top of me! I kept inching up, hoping she'd get the hint....but sadly, no. She just moved closer.
If I'm in a store that has carts, I'll leave the cart behind me while I'm unloading and paying...that way, no one can get up on top of me.

[InsanityInc]

Dollar Store, older.... woman, I won't call her a lady, kept hitting me in the back with her cart 'cause I wouldn't move up a few inches.

Grocery store, crappy Bluetooth headset; do you live in IL? I swear I ran into the same woman Saturday when I took my daughter to the bathroom while shopping. She came in while we were in there, and I could hear her outside when we left.

[JoitheArtist]

Grocery store, crappy Bluetooth headset; do you live in IL? I swear I ran into the same woman Saturday when I took my daughter to the bathroom while shopping. She came in while we were in there, and I could hear her outside when we left.

Nope, SoCal, which just made hands-free devices mandatory for using the phone in the car...which will do nothing to improve safety, and ensure that the most annoying people in the world can talk anywhere they want. SIGH.

[Pagan]

Anyways, I was standing in line, and this lady was right on top of me! I kept inching up, hoping she'd get the hint....but sadly, no. She just moved closer.

Turning around a glaring works sometime. If that fails, I'll take a step forward....but not all the way, leaving my leg back.

If I'm in a store that has carts, I'll leave the cart behind me while I'm unloading and paying...that way, no one can get up on top of me.

Yes, but then they'll use your cart to lean on. At least that's what happened at Sam's the other day. I had moved to the front of my cart to unload it, turned back around, and this asshat is leaning on my cart! I just pulled it forward with no warning. He almost fell over.

Dollar Store, older.... woman, I won't call her a lady, kept hitting me in the back with her cart 'cause I wouldn't move up a few inches.

Of for the love of....other people's children, I swear. If that had been me, she would have been getting some choice words as I push her cart back. Either that or claim that she injured me by hitting me.

[Becks]

I had moved to the front of my cart to unload it, turned back around, and this asshat is leaning on my cart! I just pulled it forward with no warning. He almost fell over.

You're evil.

Can I worship you from afar?

[iradney]

See, when someone is standing RIGHTONTOPOFYOU, this is when you either:

a) release a foul smelling fart
or
b) rotate your body 90 degrees, cock your hip and put your hand on the hip. You increase your bubble, and the idiot standing ontop of you gets an elbow in the solar plexus.
or
c) if you're feeling daring, turn around and say in a VERY LOUD VOICE:
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY ASS, YOU PERVERT!" They're certainly standing close enough for it

[crazylegs]

See, when someone is standing RIGHTONTOPOFYOU, this is when you either:

c) if you're feeling daring, turn around and say in a VERY LOUD VOICE:
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY ASS, YOU PERVERT!" They're certainly standing close enough for it

This is why I love you Rads!

[draftermatt]

How come it's no longer "proper" to tell someone "please back up you're making me uncomfortable"?

Or just say "Unless you want to @*#^ me get off my butt"

[Amethyst Hunter]

Grocery store, crappy Bluetooth headset; do you live in IL?

I do.

I hate Bluetooths because every time I'm in a place where someone is using one, it confuses the hell out of me when the person says "Hello?" and (without looking) I think they're talking to me, so I feel dumb when I turn around and go "yes?" only to see that it's just a Bluetooth.

[powerboy]

Nope, SoCal, which just made hands-free devices mandatory for using the phone in the car...which will do nothing to improve safety, and ensure that the most annoying people in the world can talk anywhere they want. SIGH.

Yup, I am glad that they are trying to make things safe, but come on. Now I use a Bluetooth when I am driving. I have it off, when I am not driving.

(Although my husband is fully aware that I will, eventually, shove him into a hedge for comedic effect. )

I do that to any of my friends & family. I only do it because I want to make people laugh. Well, also because it is so damn fun

[iradney]

But if you're able-bodied and just think that there's no harm in walking right into me when I have no room to step aside out of your way? Takedown! I've not had anyone knock themselves right off their feet YET, but one stupid woman who ran into me did a whole cartoonish jump-stagger thing that was highly amusing. You might be taller and heavier than I am but you are no match for my Hips Of Doom! *cue thunder and lightning* It's not the superpower I'd have chosen for myself, but oh well..

(Although my husband is fully aware that I will, eventually, shove him into a hedge for comedic effect. )

First of all, please record the hedge shoving when it happens

Secondly, please show me how to hip check? I can't!

[Pagan]

You're evil.

Can I worship you from afar?

Only if I can worship iradney!

[One-Fang]

I've not yet encountered the 'person behind me yapping away incessantly inches from my own ears' scenario. If I do, I will respond with the "Hey, I have to look somewhere, you're moving, you're as good a thing to look at as anything else" constant stare. Not a glare. Nope. But no looking away. Just ... I'm looking at you. Always. All the time.

Making you uncomfortable? Feel free to move!