My (ex) boyfriend the SC

[Gothicsmurf]

This is from a few years back, but thought it should be shared.

My (then) boyfriend and I went to go see a movie. It was the first time he and I had done so. We got our refreshments and then sat down. Before the movie started he turned to me and said, "You're not one of those movie theater talkers are you? I hate when people talk all through the movie." I stated that I wasn't just as the previews came up.

During the previews I admit we did whisper, "That movie looks good." and things of the stort.

However during the movie, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back my (then) boyfriend decided it was time for his personal knowledge of all things Clerks . Every scene he made some diatribe and every time I told him to be quiet, he'd say something along the lines of, "I'm not that loud." Or "I'm not talking that much."

People were turning around and giving us the Stink eye... even though I hadn't uttered a word.

Finally, I moved over a seat thinking that would shush him. Nope, he only talked louder.

It was so bad that the couple in front of us went and got an usher who had us quiet down. I was so embarassed, and that only made my ex go into a diatribe about how he wasn't talking and when he was he wasn't loud....

He finally took the hint when I physically placed my hand over his mouth... but it was because he was pouting and trying to give me the "silent treatment."

If only I had done that sooner!

[Becks]

Don't you just loooooooooooooooooove hypocrites?

[MoxisPilot]

I don't go to the cinema anymore because every time I've gone, I'm pretty sure your ex has been in the audience, right behind me.

I'd have done more than cover his mouth with my hand. Haha!

[mariamousie1]

It's like that episode special of Mystery Science Theater where Bobo was in the audience with them and he wouldn't shut up and Crow goes "I hate people who talk in the theater!"

Anyway, man, I hate that. Sounds like that guy was a jerk.

[Evil Queen]

BF and I only talk during the previews. About the previews. The rest is mostly "OOOOooooo! awwwwwwe." and once "EEK!" because a scene in the movie scared me.

[Pezzle]

I think I've told this story before here, but I almost started a small epic brawl in the middle of 30 Days of Night because the whole top row wouldn't STFU. Trust me, I got an usher first and then a cop, believe me I tried.

I'll re-tell for anyone who didn't see/newbies if you'd like.

[Gothicsmurf]

Oh, I'd LOVE to hear the story!

[blas]

I would love to hear the story. I was quite disappointed with 30 Days of Night, but I can totally see where that movie would have drawn in a crowd of rowdies who wouldn't stfu.

[texasbelle5]

Eons ago,back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, the ex and I went to see the first Halloween. (told ya it was years ago)

There were 2 preteen girls right behind us. One had already seen the movie. One hadn't. So the Halloween non virgin thought it was her duty to tell the virgin everything that was about to happen. My ex the cop had enough of that in about 5 minutes. He turns around and says in a voice loud enough to heard all over the theater "Girls, I paid good money to see this movie. I would like to know what happens AS IT HAPPENS! Not 5 seconds before. Kindly shut the hell up!" There was assorted sheering and clapping, as well as a gasp from the girls behind us.

But Miss know it all shut up.

[blas]

Sorry texasbelle, but dinosaurs roamed the earth when my great aunts and uncles went to see Marilyn Monroe movies. We were up to cavemen by the time Halloween came out

[Pezzle]

So, by popular demand I suppose I should cough it up. Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story: The Tale of the Miniature Race Riot.

My boyfriend and I love to see scary, freaky, gory and all around awesome movies together. We'll usually try anything, so while we were expecting 30 Days of Night to be somewhat disappointing we were attempting to keep an open mind. Now, both of us are closers at our job so the 10:15 showing of the movie was perfect for us, and that's when we arrived.

Now, when we got into the theater we were the only people in there save for a large group on the top row. They also happened to be black and very big into the ghetto fab style: supremely baggy pants, long 6x t-shirts, fitted ball caps, the works. There were about... four couples there, so eight people all together.

I know how upset people can get about describing people like this but it's important becuase A) It paints a good picture and B) if you've ever lived anywhere near Trenton, NJ , you'll know that there's some racial tension and gang problems. It comes into play.

Anyway, they were talking VERY loudly in an ebonic like slang I could barely decipher. They had their cell phones out on speaker phone (that walkie talkie type thing..) talking to some friends very loudly. I don't really give a damn before the movie starts or during the previews, because there's really nothing to miss. However, they kept talking louder and louder through the previews - pretty stupid and unintelligent commentary I might add. Things like "O DAYUM DAT NIGGA GOT FUCKED UP SON SHII" that could fill volumes in the Libraries of Alexandria in its hay day I'm sure.

The previews ended and the movie began, and there wasn't one scene that they didn't have long continuous comments for. As in, I missed the first fifteen minutes of the movie and the plot line becuase they would not quiet down. So my boyfriend and I shot them glares but they did not seem to get the hint. I, being quite non-confrontational decided to give it another five minutes for them to settle in... nope. They decided to take very loud cell phone calls in the middle of the movie and scream obscenities and stupid comments over. and over.

So, I go out and I get the only person that works there whom I know slightly. They are a manager of sorts. She comes in and requests them to be quiet, which lasts about a minute. I have to go back out and get her again after that minute, and she brings a cop with her. This silence lasts about five minutes.

Finally I get so frustrated that I looked at my boyfriend with a scowl and whispered "We should just go, this is pointless..." and he asks me in a whisper back "Are they ever going to shut up?"

I guess the guys up there overheard it, becuase one of them yelled out "HEY cracker pieces of shit mind yo own bisnis"

I then said "be quiet, please... please"

They retaliated and I dont remember what he said but it was something about me being a butterball cracker piece of shit and my boyfriend being an old gray needledick.

To which I became extremely fed up, and jumped out of my seat:

"WHAT IS SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE WORDS 'SHUT. THE FUCK. UP' !? ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? IS IT THAT HARD TO FUCKING BE TOLD TO BE QUIET BY EMPLOYEES, COPS, AND NOW ME? I PAID FUCKING 10 DOLLARS FOR THIS GOD DAMNED MOVIE AND YOU'D BETTER BET YOUR ASS I AM GOING TO ENJOY WATCHING IT!"

Now, I was hoping they'd get the hint but nope apparently those were fighting words. Every single one of them hopped out of their seat. There was a lot of unintelligible garble from them to me and the women shouted "I'll fight her I'll fight her!" but they stood still. I motioned for them to come down to me. I called them stupid cowards who can't stand to their own words. I even offered to meet them half way.

Basically I said "if you want to get your fucking skull broken over a 2nd rate vampire movie, then you go right ahead. Come on. I've never lost. [<-- Truth]"

So when they didn't come down (and I was fully ready to fight 1 on 8 if I had to, I'd win that court case any day) I walked out and got the cop and they stayed in the theater for the rest of the night. When the movie was over some of them were waiting for us in the parking lot. and all they did was hide their faces and kind of peer at us meekly, like they were waiting for us but too afraid to make moves. They were all talk.

That's all I can tell for now and I'll clarify stuf flater if you have questions but I need to get to work! ^^

[Lace Neil Singer]

Once I was at the cinema when these two teenage girls behind me were chatting. They chatted thru the ads which is fair enough cuz the ads are boring, but when the movie started, they were still going at it. So I turned round and shouted, "Shut the hell up before I f make you!" They shut up. If they hadn't, I probably would have stuck to getting an usher, but who knows? XD

[MadMike]

There were 2 preteen girls right behind us. One had already seen the movie. One hadn't. So the Halloween non virgin thought it was her duty to tell the virgin everything that was about to happen.

I had the same thing happen when my brother and I went to see the second Karate Kid movie, only it was two guys.

"OK, he's going to try the crane kick thing again, but it's not gonna work this time. See?"