DMV suck

[fma_fanatic]

Oh my goodness, first the hotel suck and now this. Lord, I tell you, I swear I must attract these people in groups.

I went to the DMV (or the Licensing Bureau as it's called here) to renew my drivers license.

In July 2005, they enacted the Show Me Proof law that basically said you had to arrive with every single document ever issued to prove yourself, a pint of your blood and your first born child/pet.

So I gathered all my info, and waited patiently for my electric bill, bank statement or whatever came in that would satisfy the proof of residency. Now that I have my bank statement, I feel prepared enough to go down to the DMV.

This happened on my lunch hour, and amazingly enough, there wasn't even a wait. The suck comes from the person who was helping me.

I handed over my notification card, my old license and all my supporting documentation which consisted of my birth certificate, marriage certificate, SS card and bank statement.

DMV Worker (herein DMVW): Your last name on your license is different than your birth certificate.
Me: Yes, which is why you also have the marriage certificate.
DMVW: Oh.

A little bit later..

DMVW: Please look into the box and read line two *this is the eye test*

I look into the box. There's nothing, no light, nada.

Me: I can't see anything.
DMVW: There should be. Are you blind?
Me: *blink..pause..blink* No. If I were blind I wouldn't be able to tell you that the calendar behind you says August 7. Or that your shirt is blue and green.
DMVW: Oh, I see. It's unplugged. *plugs it back in*
Me: *still can't see anything* Um..there's still nothing.
DMVW: Look stop playing games and read the damn line already.

After going back and forth for a few moments, she finally comes around the counter and looks to see that sure enough, there is nothing there. Finally she gets out the ancient chart and I read that for her. Then the different signs below the chart.

After a few more minutes, I pay and get my license, which she hands to be with a very sarcastic "Have a nice day". I so wanted to show her how nice a day I could have, but it would involve damaging my shiny new license and depositing it up a rather nasty orifice.

[Blade_Raver]

Which License Bureau was that one?

[smileyeagle1021]

ok, may I point out... your title is redundant...

[mattm04]

DMV.....Blood Pressure rising.....must resist urge to destroy everything in sight.

[One-Fang]

Heheh, I suppose the first "are you blind?" was a legitimate question rather than a snark, but there's no call for the rest of it.

[JustADude]

ok, may I point out... your title is redundant...

Not really. I've always managed to have a very tolerable experience at the DMV. Of course, I've long ago established that suck simply doesn't happen within 100 feet of me (not counting telephones) for some reason.

[PepperElf]

before i even read the post i had dane cook in my mind... where the dmv is full of people standing silent, but you knew every single one of them was mentally screaming, "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

[trunks2k]

The last time I went to the DMV, I had to get my license transferred from CT to PA. For car insurance and registration purposes, I had kept my license in CT even though I had technically lived in PA for almost two years (and had been a full time student there for 5 years prior to that). I looked up all the information I'd need to provide and took extra with me which resulted in my lease, 4 separate bills, my social security card, my current license, and my passport. It was a saturday, so of course the DMV was going to be PACKED, and I noticed that since I had been living in PA for so long w/o transferring my license they were of course going to give me an extra hard time, and make me take an exam. I'd wait for a better time to do it but I HAD to get it done that day since I was buying a new car. So I pack a book, my iPod, and some snacks as well. I'm damn well prepared for what is going to be an all day expedition.

I show up at 10:00AM. I leave at 10:20. No problems. No hard time. No lines. No exam. I was actually waiting for, at most, 5 minutes.

I was absolutely shocked. I'm considering suing the city for the damage the shock did to my body.

[protege]

Ah, the DMV. The eternal vortex of suck....

I'm going through a bit of crap trying to get my MG re-titled. Since it's really *my* car now, my dad wants to put just my name on it. The problem started, mainly because the car isn't quite finished. Even so, I did what Pennsylvania wanted--photos of all 4 sides, brought in the insurance cards, prior registration, etc.

What's the suck? Get a load of this--because there's an AAA sticker on the rear bumper, and a rust spot on the front bumper, the state is refusing to transfer the title. The car has to be in "as new" condition to get another title. Puzzling, since when the car was purchased back in 1980, it was in even *worse* condition...yet they were able to title it no problem

What's annoying, is that *none* of this crap is mentioned on the state's website!

[KiaKat]

Pennsylvania seems to have an awful DMV. My mom decided against transferring a car into my sister's name, because even though she would have been doing a payment-free title transfer, Pennsylvania wanted sales tax.

[kibbles]

Is there anywhere you could have made a formal complaint?

[fma_fanatic]

Which License Bureau was that one?

The one in Chesterfield, directly across from Mickey D's. Interestingly enough, I never had any problems when I renewed my plates last year. Kinda weird. SO says he prefers the one at Olive and Fee Fee by the crappy Dobbs we no longer patronize. That's a story in itself for another day.

Is there anywhere you could have made a formal complaint?

Yeah, I can call the main office in Jeff City. But I really don't think anything would be done because this is the same bureau that's been called on the carpet before for not properly destroying documents. Fox 2 did an expose on them a year or so ago about documents that were just sitting in the dumpster for anyone to just take.

The other thing to understand is that they DMV here is run by a private institution rather than the state itself. It's the only reason they can get away with putting adverts in the reminder/renewals they send out.

[tigerlily0]

Pennsylvania seems to have an awful DMV. My mom decided against transferring a car into my sister's name, because even though she would have been doing a payment-free title transfer, Pennsylvania wanted sales tax.

A lot of states require sales tax on a transfer. The key usually is not to make it payment-free. If you do that, normally they want sales tax on the current fair market value. What you do is sell it for like $1 or $10 or something, and then you only pay sales tax on the actual amount you paid.

[Kogarashi]

Get a load of this--because there's an AAA sticker on the rear bumper, and a rust spot on the front bumper, the state is refusing to transfer the title. The car has to be in "as new" condition to get another title. Puzzling, since when the car was purchased back in 1980, it was in even *worse* condition...yet they were able to title it no problem

Solution: take new photos, Photoshop the two trouble spots out, take photos in.

[smileyeagle1021]

you know, this reminds me of the one time I went SC (and yes, the person deserved it for being so stupid)... the state of Utah requires at least 3 forms verifying you live in the state (oh and btw, proof of employment does not qualify... because you could still be commuting from out of state, which with the exception of Cache County is an absurd proposition) oh yeah, utility bills count... as long as you have the original envelope... which was a problem because when I moved I immediately signed up for ebill (save time and effort... just have the statement emailed to me and have the payment automatically withdrawn)... and the bitch at the DMV said "well I still get paper statements because I'm smart enough to know that electronic records are useless, that's your fault for being stupid enough to think we would accept something that only proves you are paying for utilities at that address and not living there"

it's like, what the fuck lady, you think I'm going to just pay some random person's utilities for them so I can get a Utah license... oh and btw, the people of Rose Park officially suck too because they agreed with her they agreed that I was being an asshole (ok so I was) and that she was right, having an emailed statement doesn't prove I live there (well, the schools in the Rose Park neighborhood aren't that great, so on second thought, they aren't jackasses in that neighborhood, they're just ignorant).

... sorry bout the rant... every time I make the mistake of going to the Rose Park DMV bad things happen so I really hate that neighborhood... seriously, it is worth the 45 minute drive to get to the Farmington DMV, less lines, more polite patrons, and counter clerks who finished high school.

PS, my apologies to the residents of Rose Park who aren't ignorant and assholes, I know you are probably the silent majority and sadly have not met one of you yet... but someday I'm sure I will.