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I was doing mounds of shopping today, as I have two kids going back to school soon. By my last stop tonight, about 8:00 pm, I'm tired, my back and hips are killing me, and I just want to get the last few things on sale so that I can go home.
I'm at the intersection, two people in front of me in a light-controlled left turn lane. Light changes, first car enters parking lot with an older Lexus in front of me, me, and another car right behind. Lexus enters parking lot enough to be off the street, then, inexplicably, stops. I am now stopped right in front of two lanes of cars going straight, which means they will be going straight through the right side of my car. There is a car a few feet behind me, hovering in the area in front of the opposing left turn lane.
I push my horn. Lexus doesn't move. I start screaming out my window, "I'm stuck in the intersection, MOVE!" I hit my horn a couple more times.
The Lexus sits there. A hand comes out the driver's side window, makes a waving gesture, then retreats into the car. Lexus still does not move.
Now, I'm screaming out my window and I hold the horn down. It's a loud horn, befitting the large, American car I am driving. Lexus does not move.
By now, I know, the light has to have changed, the car behind me has managed to back up back into the left turn lane. I am sitting in the middle of a busy intersection. The cars sitting there may see me, but I'm worried. There have been some dumbass accidents in that intersection.
I press into the horn again, screaming. I start rolling the car forward, thinking that perhaps I can push the brain frozen hosebeast out of my way.
Then the miracle happens. The Lexus moves. I let off the horn and pull into the parking lot about 2/3 of the way. (Big American car.) Lexus stops again. I hear the woman in the SUV who is trying to exit the parking lot saying, "I don't understand. I don't know why she wouldn't move. I kept telling her."
Then I don't hear anything more because I am back on the horn. A few more seconds pass. Then the Lexus moves. She actually pulls forward and goes up to the front of the buildings and turns right. I went left.
I just don't understand. Well, yes, maybe I do. Many people in my neighborhood have the unfortunate habit of being unable to drive and make a decision at the same time. They will stop in the middle of a busy street as they attempt to remember why they're on that street, where they are going, and what that lever is on the side of the steering wheel column that makes a rhythmic sound when they lift it up or push it down. They can breathe and do one other thing. Anything more than that and their brains seize up like an engine without oil. They then sit and their mouths start flapping as if trying to frame a question that can only be answered by an omniscient deity. Finally, synapses fire and they move on to the next brain seizure moment, which often occurs right in front of me.
I'm at the intersection, two people in front of me in a light-controlled left turn lane. Light changes, first car enters parking lot with an older Lexus in front of me, me, and another car right behind. Lexus enters parking lot enough to be off the street, then, inexplicably, stops. I am now stopped right in front of two lanes of cars going straight, which means they will be going straight through the right side of my car. There is a car a few feet behind me, hovering in the area in front of the opposing left turn lane.
I push my horn. Lexus doesn't move. I start screaming out my window, "I'm stuck in the intersection, MOVE!" I hit my horn a couple more times.
The Lexus sits there. A hand comes out the driver's side window, makes a waving gesture, then retreats into the car. Lexus still does not move.
Now, I'm screaming out my window and I hold the horn down. It's a loud horn, befitting the large, American car I am driving. Lexus does not move.
By now, I know, the light has to have changed, the car behind me has managed to back up back into the left turn lane. I am sitting in the middle of a busy intersection. The cars sitting there may see me, but I'm worried. There have been some dumbass accidents in that intersection.
I press into the horn again, screaming. I start rolling the car forward, thinking that perhaps I can push the brain frozen hosebeast out of my way.
Then the miracle happens. The Lexus moves. I let off the horn and pull into the parking lot about 2/3 of the way. (Big American car.) Lexus stops again. I hear the woman in the SUV who is trying to exit the parking lot saying, "I don't understand. I don't know why she wouldn't move. I kept telling her."
Then I don't hear anything more because I am back on the horn. A few more seconds pass. Then the Lexus moves. She actually pulls forward and goes up to the front of the buildings and turns right. I went left.
I just don't understand. Well, yes, maybe I do. Many people in my neighborhood have the unfortunate habit of being unable to drive and make a decision at the same time. They will stop in the middle of a busy street as they attempt to remember why they're on that street, where they are going, and what that lever is on the side of the steering wheel column that makes a rhythmic sound when they lift it up or push it down. They can breathe and do one other thing. Anything more than that and their brains seize up like an engine without oil. They then sit and their mouths start flapping as if trying to frame a question that can only be answered by an omniscient deity. Finally, synapses fire and they move on to the next brain seizure moment, which often occurs right in front of me.
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