I took the bus to work today. The car was in the shop. At the bus stop, I encountered some interesting people. Or, rather, I encountered two semi-normal people and one SC.
To set the scene, we have three people:
"SC" - The one doing most of the talking.
"FD" - SC's friend, wearing nothing but denim.
"BF" - SC's boyfriend.
The three were all fairly overweight. "FD" and "BF" looked like they had things somewhat under control. "SC," on the other hand, was the unhealthy kind of overweight where everything sags and jiggles and where walking has been replaced by waddling, which still wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't also working on her own personal full-size bag of Doritos and commenting about how she wanted to be thinner.
Anyway, here are pieces of the conversation I heard at the bus stop.
Fudge Smudge
SC: Wait, what's this spot on my shirt? Is that chocolate?
BF: Yeah, I think so.
SC: Ugh! (smugly) Well! Fashion Bug is getting this back!
FD: How is it their fault?
SC: Duh, they sold it to me!
FD: How long have you had it?
SC: Since May. But I just took the tags off this morning. Those idiots at Fashion Bug should know better than to sell stained clothes!
Currency Confusion
SC: You know what a dime is?
BF: Y- yeah...
SC: You know what I read? I heard somewhere that some people don't think dimes are real money. Isn't that weird? I mean, I could understand it if they meant pennies, but not dimes.
Phone Follies
SC: (answers cell phone) What!
...
SC: Who are you?
...
SC: I didn't buy anything from you.
...
SC: No, I don't! I don't owe anybody anything for anything!
...
SC: Well, they're just lying to you to get my money because they're mad I switched companies.
...
SC: I told you they're lying! I don't owe anything, and you need to tell them to leave me alone. (hangs up) Idiots! I don't owe any money.
Then, as she was recounting to BF how many times he kissed her yesterday, where they were, where the kiss was planted, how long it lasted, and how much she enjoyed it, the bus showed up. The three of them smashed themselves all onto one of the seats at the front reserved for the handicapped and elderly where they stayed even though an older couple got on shortly afterward and had to shuffle toward the back of the bus.
And as I was getting off the bus, I heard SC saying something to the driver about the bus running a little behind schedule and she wasn't going to let him make her late for something.
I pity her friends.
To set the scene, we have three people:
"SC" - The one doing most of the talking.
"FD" - SC's friend, wearing nothing but denim.
"BF" - SC's boyfriend.
The three were all fairly overweight. "FD" and "BF" looked like they had things somewhat under control. "SC," on the other hand, was the unhealthy kind of overweight where everything sags and jiggles and where walking has been replaced by waddling, which still wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't also working on her own personal full-size bag of Doritos and commenting about how she wanted to be thinner.
Anyway, here are pieces of the conversation I heard at the bus stop.
Fudge Smudge
SC: Wait, what's this spot on my shirt? Is that chocolate?
BF: Yeah, I think so.
SC: Ugh! (smugly) Well! Fashion Bug is getting this back!
FD: How is it their fault?
SC: Duh, they sold it to me!
FD: How long have you had it?
SC: Since May. But I just took the tags off this morning. Those idiots at Fashion Bug should know better than to sell stained clothes!
Currency Confusion
SC: You know what a dime is?
BF: Y- yeah...
SC: You know what I read? I heard somewhere that some people don't think dimes are real money. Isn't that weird? I mean, I could understand it if they meant pennies, but not dimes.
Phone Follies
SC: (answers cell phone) What!
...
SC: Who are you?
...
SC: I didn't buy anything from you.
...
SC: No, I don't! I don't owe anybody anything for anything!
...
SC: Well, they're just lying to you to get my money because they're mad I switched companies.
...
SC: I told you they're lying! I don't owe anything, and you need to tell them to leave me alone. (hangs up) Idiots! I don't owe any money.
Then, as she was recounting to BF how many times he kissed her yesterday, where they were, where the kiss was planted, how long it lasted, and how much she enjoyed it, the bus showed up. The three of them smashed themselves all onto one of the seats at the front reserved for the handicapped and elderly where they stayed even though an older couple got on shortly afterward and had to shuffle toward the back of the bus.
And as I was getting off the bus, I heard SC saying something to the driver about the bus running a little behind schedule and she wasn't going to let him make her late for something.
I pity her friends.
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