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Starbucks PWNAGE

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  • Starbucks PWNAGE

    I'm in Starbucks right now enjoying my drink and trying to wake the hell up from a rough night. It turns out that my kitten has just gone into her first heat and wouldn't you know it, she's part Siamese. The part that has her ungodly "I'm so horny" yowl.

    So I'm tired and I need the molecule of life if I'm going to function when the store opens today.

    I'm surfing and drinking my coffee and I knock over my drink. Not wanting to be a burden on the Starbucks staff I start cleaning the table myself before I get another coffee. I'm wearing a green polo shirt. Can you guess what's coming next? Can you?

    Yup, some twit is getting impatient because there are no barista's in sight and this twit wants his coffee. He sees me and comes up and demands that I serve him.

    Me = Tired, Bitchy, and feeling like killing something
    Twit = The miserable prick who can't tell a polo shirt from a Barista's uniform

    Twit - Stop cleaning up and make me a (some hoity-toity drink that must be the coffee version of a girly umbrella drink).

    Me - No

    Twit - Make me my fucking coffee!

    Me - Get bent

    Twit - How dare you talk to me like that? I have never been treated like this before in my life

    Me - With your personality I'd think you'd be used to it.

    Twit - I demand you make me my coffee NOW!

    Me - Go f--k yourself.

    Twit - I'll have your job!

    Me - You don't have that kind of power. In fact, if you can get me fired from this place I'll buy you coffee for a month. My name is GeekGoddess and the Manager just stepped over to the counter.

    Enter a new player. He toddles off to bitch at the manager and I sit down to finish off what's left of my coffee and to watch the fur fly.

    M = Manager

    Twit - I want you to fire that woman RIGHT NOW!

    M - What did she do?

    Twit - She refused to make me my drink, insulted me, and told me to "go f--k myself". If you know what's good for you, you'll fire that cunt before she ruins your business and puts you out of business.

    M - If one of my employees treated you like that, then I would indeed fire her...

    Twit - Good! You hear that you bitch? Your ass is as good as gone!

    M - But here's the problem. She's not my employee, she's a customer and I have no control over customers and what they say to you. However I know that woman and I assure you that if she ripped into you then it must have been you that pushed her buttons first.

    Twit - But...but

    M - I'm sorry, I can't help you in regards to her. Now what would you like to order?

    The twit gets his drink to go and leaves the store. The manager comes over and asks what happened and I tell him. He gets a laugh.

  • #2
    Beautiful!

    A nomination for the Hall of Fame.

    I wish the manager had demanded he apologize for mistreating her customers like that.

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    • #3
      Teach me! *bows at feet*
      The report button - not just for decoration

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      • #4
        Naw, you should have made him a coffee...with like a lot of sugar and add some other stuff in it . Tell him it's on the house. Watch as he spits out the coffee and bitches, then the manager could get involved and say you don't work here.

        But I like how you gave the guy got his comuppance, hee.
        Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

        Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

        I wish porn had subtitles.

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        • #5
          GeekGoddess, you rock!!

          I question my sanity every day. Sometimes it answers.

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          • #6
            Quoth GeekGoddess View Post
            I'm surfing and drinking my coffee and I knock over my drink. Not wanting to be a burden on the Starbucks staff I start cleaning the table myself before I get another coffee.
            Sadly, no good deed goes unpunished.

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            • #7
              BRAVISIMO!!!

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              • #8
                I have but one work to say..... PRICELESS!
                You call, I haul. You bitch, I unhitch!

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                • #9
                  I notice you didn't actually *tell* the guy you don't work there. In fact, you pretty much went out of your way to give the impression that you did. I'd give you props if you'd said "I don't work here" and he continued to be a prick, but really, you set him up for that.
                  Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                  http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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                  • #10
                    If I would have been the manager, I would have thrown the customer out and told em to never come back. We don't appreciate or tolerate abuse of our loyal regulars.

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                    • #11
                      Of course she set him up for that, he was BEGGING for it.

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                      • #12
                        I think I'm in love with you

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                        • #13
                          That was awesome. You deserve
                          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Broomjockey View Post
                            I notice you didn't actually *tell* the guy you don't work there. In fact, you pretty much went out of your way to give the impression that you did. I'd give you props if you'd said "I don't work here" and he continued to be a prick, but really, you set him up for that.
                            So? Like you said, the guy was a prick... he deserved it.
                            <Insert clever signature here>

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Broomjockey View Post
                              I notice you didn't actually *tell* the guy you don't work there. In fact, you pretty much went out of your way to give the impression that you did. I'd give you props if you'd said "I don't work here" and he continued to be a prick, but really, you set him up for that.
                              Why should I be required to tell some flaming idiot (who can't tell the difference between a person in a black or white polo shirt and a green apron with the lady Godiva looking corporate logo and a person in a green polo shirt embroidered with the letters Blank Computer Sercives and a picture of a computer on it) that I don't work here. Especially when he fired off with a very brusque "Stop cleaning up and meke me a..."

                              How many other people in here have claimed that it is sucky behavior on the part of the customer when they come up to them and order them to stop doing what they are doing and to do something else regardless of whether or not it's their job to do the other, whether or not they're qualified to do the other job, is against orders, against medical advice, whatever?

                              Yeah I didn't tell him I didn't work there but I was running on three hours of sleep with little miss yo-yo knickers yowling all night looking for Mr. Right Now or at least a kitty sized vibrator, I had just spilled the coffee I had to take a second mortgage to get in the first place all over my keyboard and to top it all off, while I'm trying to do something nice and not annoy the guys in the shop by cleaning up my own mess...this jackhole comes out of nowhere and demands I stop what I'm doing and go make him some coffee as if I was some sub-human genetically created being who was created and exists for no other reason than to make f--king coffee. I brew therefore I am? I do not think so.

                              I do not feel that I have done anything wrong. It is not my place to try and to changes the minds of people. They have a right to think whatever the heck they want to think. I did nothing to make this person think I worked at Starbucks (apart from wearing my green shirt today). If they want to think they are better than me and to think they can get me fired from a place that I'm not even wearing a uniform for indicating I work there and they act on that assumption only to find themselves embarassed for making themselves look like a goddamn fool then that's their own problem and not mine.

                              It's my dearest wish right now that at sometime in the near future he has a problem with his computer so he brings it into my store so I can give him courtious and professional service and resolve his computer problems in a timely manner, while he's squirming wondering when or if I'm going to light the fuse on my inner bitch and explode on him. I'm not going to mind you, but again if that's what he thinks I'm not the thought police.

                              Sorry for the rant but this guy really honked me off this morning. I can not wait till I can get home, make myself a black and tan and hit the hot tub. Anyone know how to get a cat out of heat? If I take her to the vet now they charge an extra $30 to get her fixed.

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