Wherein A Guy Kicks His Own Ass!

[blas]

Not really a customer, as the bars were closed at this time, but it was too hilarious not to share.

So the bars had closed and people were hanging out outside of the bars flagging down cabs or getting all of their friends together to walk home or go to after bars or whatever they were doing.....I was waiting for my friend to say goodbye to some of her friends so she could take me home...

This guy was laying on the ground, about to pass out....sure enough, that attracted the attention of the cops who hang out around the bars throughout the night and after bar close.

They were about to pick up him and arrest him for public intoxication, when all of a sudden he got up, tried to fight with the cops (!!!), when he hit the wall of the bar with his hand, landed back on the ground, got back up, then fell over and bashed his head into the axle of some guy's wheelchair!

After having a good laugh at his misfortune, we left, and as we were driving away, we saw an ambulance pull up. There was a bit of a traffic jam, and I watched the EMTs get him all ready, and he was STILL trying to flare his arms at the cops, so they cuffed him as he was on the gurney.

Too funny....I don't think he'll be drinking again anytime soon!

[Aethian]

Wow that is major drunk.

[Gawdzillers]

Wow that is major drunk.

No, major drunk is when you wake up curled in the fetal position under the Liberty Bell, butt-ass naked with "DON'T TREAD ON ME" tattooed above your penis (if you have one), as if it were the Gadsden snake.

I don't know why I got so patriotic with that. Must be the AP US History talking.

[Becks]

Maybe he wasn't drunk. Maybe he just needed to go back on his meds.

[crazylegs]

Wow that is major drunk.

Nope, Major Drunk is coming round naked, clingfilmed to the middle of the magic roundabout with your clothes six yards away.

[Difdi]

Reminds me of an accident I witnessed a few years back, a drunk hit a car at an intersection.

That's phrased slightly oddly, but it should be read literally: The drunk was a pedestrian.

He was literally so blitzed, he could barely stand (and failed to do so several times as I watched). After a couple minutes (loooong stoplight), he decided he had somewhere he urgently needed to be, and all but ran into the street. Luckily for him, the street he ran into had a red light. Unluckily for him, there was this pickup truck right there, and he smashed face first into the wing mirror, collapsed to the ground, and rolled under the truck.

Luckily for the drunk, the truck driver was a licensed paramedic and a firefighter, and got out to investigate the thump, rather than just drive off when the light chose that moment to turn green. By the time the police and ambulance arrived, the paramedic had the drunk checked out pretty well. I hung around to give a statement to the police, and they honestly didn't believe me at first when I told them what I saw happen.