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  • Banhammer in action

    Was out a a bar last night and saw the Banhammer in action, wielded like the fist of an angry god. In fact, the bar owner's real first name is Thor, which is totally awesome.

    The stage: The bar is a small establishment just outside one of Shaw AFB's gates (I mean JUST outside, you could engage the SP's by throwing rocks at them.) Shaw itself is incorporated as part of both Sumter City, and Sumter County. The SP's are given license to protect the facility as well as surrounding property in case of civil disturbance. The road is also a SC state highway. So, we have four jurisdictions here. Sumter PD, Sumter County Sheriff's department, SC Highway Patrol, and USAF Security Forces which can respond in the event of a criminal act (in visual range of the perimeter of the base.) Needless to say, with so many cops able to come knocking, Thor keeps everything on the level. If HE thinks you're too drunk, he'll call you a cab. If you're a regular, he'll even pay for it. If you go to drive anyway, he'll sure as hell call the cops. Also, he runs it as a private club ($50 annual membership) which allows him to serve on Sundays in Sumter county.

    The players:
    Thor: Awesome Norwegian bar owner and wielder of BanMjolnir, the mighty BanHammer of doom.
    SC: Drunk Local
    OK Guy: Drunk local's friend and a SrA with the base SP's.

    SC: Hey Thor! Gimmie another beer.
    OK: SC, you sure, you're about to get cabbed.
    SC: Naw, I's ok (drool, lean, nearly falls)
    Thor: SC, you've had three in the last hour. I'll get you another in an hour.
    SC: Man, I's ok, that's bullshit.
    Thor: No, you're not. Sober up and ask again in an hour. I don't want to toss and cab you.
    OK: C'mon SC, lets go shoot a game (of pool).
    SC: A'ight.

    So, five or six minutes pass, SC gets his clock cleaned by his sober friend, and goes back to the bar.

    SC: Hey Thor! I wanna beer!
    Thor: Ask me again before 9 and I'm tossing you.
    SC: Ok, whatever.

    Again, goes back to playing pool, sans beer. Gets beaten badly again.

    SC: Hey Thor! Gimmie a beer!
    Thor: That's it SC, you're done. You calling a ride or am I calling a cab? Either way, you're out of here.
    OK: Thor, I got it.
    Thor (to OK): Alright, be safe.
    SC: Hell no! I ain't going! You ain't going to toss me!
    Thor: Yes, I am, and yes you are.
    SC: *reaches across counter, grabs Thor by the shirt* Like hell you...
    Thor: *grabs SC by head in both hands and slams it into the counter* Now I'm gonna have to call the cops on you. That earns you a 1 year ban.
    OK: Thor! WTF man!? You broke his nose!
    Thor: You want one too?
    OK: Hell no...but I'd take a beer.
    Thor: Yea, ok, one sec. *calls cops, pours OK a Killians*

    The Epilogue: When the sheriff's deputies arrived, it was agreed that SC was too drunk to drive and probably fell over in his intoxicated state. So Thor, great and mighty god of thunder and inexpensive alcohol, strikes with his banhammer and drops his foe.

  • #2
    Oh....my....*snerks and giggles*

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    • #3
      I want a BanMjolnir

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      • #4
        LOL... Now I'll be giggling on my way to bed.... That was hilarious! LMAO. Glad to see some bosses don't put up with that crap.
        "Hi, this is Silver. How may I lose my self respect in order to cater to your over- inflated ego today?" --- Silverrb

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        • #5
          Oh, I want Thor as a PET.

          EQ!! Can I keep Thor as a pet?
          Now a member of that alien race called Management.

          Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

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          • #6
            Are you nuts? Do you have any idea how much Norwegians eat?! I'll be broke within a month!

            But he sounds like fun otherwise.
            Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

            Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

            Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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            • #7
              You have got to PM me and tell me the name of the bar! I don't live that far from Sumter and would love to check the place out. =0)
              You want it when? Yeah, Good luck with that!

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              • #8
                I'd like to know the name of the bar as well...I may be moving down there soon. Hopefully.
                My NaNo page

                My author blog

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                • #9
                  As always, I miss all the fun. *pouts*
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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