She has a point, but eek. =/

[sixums]

I don't know how I feel about this one, so I'm putting it up for opinions.

I go to university in the odd state of Maine, and am an out of state resident. This year I managed to finagle my schedule so that I only had one class that started at 10:15am on Portland, the opposite of the two campuses we have (as opposed to the one I live on).

I managed to get there right on time when I wanted to, found a decent parking space, then entered the Business building where my class was. It was about 10:10 so I decided to stop at the cafe on the first floor to grab a water. I'm standing in line and watching the elevator, because I wanted to catch it before it went up again if I could. My class is on the 5th floor. Call me lazy, but I'm not in the greatest of shape, and besides that I'd woken up probably a half hour previously. The elevator is convenient.

All the elevators in public buildings at my school have a giant red sign next to them stating (and I'm mostly paraphrasing) "The elevator is intended primarily for disabled persons. Please respect those who need it." Makes sense of course. I see a lot of regular students and professors use them as well. Never have I ever in my life seen anyone inhibit a disabled person trying to use the elevator. In general I find people at my university to be overly polite and willing to accommodate others.

Anyway, I'm standing in the cafe line with my water, and I see the elevator open. Students filter in, and I'm cursing that I've still got two people in front of me. I'll have to wait for it to come down again. Around the corner a woman and her partner come walking. The woman is wearing a leg brace and is using a crutch to walk. I don't really think anything of it until I hear her yell down the hallway to the people in the elevator.

SC: HOLD THE ELEVATOR. *pauses, waiting to see if people will hold it for her, which they do* Because you know, it's intended for people who actually NEED it!

No where in there did I hear a please or a thank you, and frankly, it was passive aggressive as hell. I in no way saw anything that indicated to me that she needed to scream at them, or that they were doing anything to inhibit her getting to the elevator. The surrounding area went extremely silent as she went by, and at that point it was my turn to the cashier. The cashier looked at me, incredibly awkward, and said something to the effects of "Gee, do you think anyone in the building didn't hear that?"

Now, the reason I'm conflicted over this is that I don't know how this woman has been treated in the past. Maybe she had people who were nasty to her. But still, these people did nothing to deserve it. The look on her face was just mean. Her partner seemed to agree with her actions, because as she walked towards the elevator she rolled her eyes, and he nodded back to her.

I don't know, it just seemed wrong and disrespectful to me. I understand you need the elevator, and the students use it as a convenience, but we haven't done anything to you. There's no need to be cranky.

[DeltaSierra]

Bad experience in the past or not, it doesn't excuse her for failing to show good manners.

On a similar vein - I once got chewed out for taking an "disabled people only please" elevator at my college because I didn't "look" handicapped. Turns out I had a knee brace on (torn ACL) but since I wore a skirt you couldn't see it. Lifting my skirt up just enough to see the brace sure shut the guy up quick.

[protege]

I don't know, it just seemed wrong and disrespectful to me. I understand you need the elevator, and the students use it as a convenience, but we haven't done anything to you. There's no need to be cranky.

Reminds me of someone I knew in college. This woman (and I use the term loosely) had a serious chip on her shoulder. Maybe she was resentful of being in a wheelchair, or maybe she was just a bitch...I don't know. If people held the door open for her, she'd scream that she "wasn't a cripple and could get it herself." That went on for several months...long enough that people quit being nice to her. Then winter came...and she somehow couldn't get the doors open. Then she'd come into buildings, and bitch because nobody would help her Several people commented that "you can't have it both ways"

[Gerrinson]

Then she'd come into buildings, and bitch because nobody would help her Several people commented that "you can't have it both ways"

We had a customer at the grocery store that pulled that crap with me once. And only once.

I was heading into the store, through the broken front door. The kind that open when you put weight on the pressure pad, but the door wouldn't opening. The repair guy had to drive 45 minutes each way for parts, so he couldn't get it fixed before the store opened for the day.

There was a woman in a wheelchair rolling up the sidewalk towards the store, so I held the door for her. And got bitched at for it because "I can do anything you can, it's demeaning to be treated like I'm incapable of helping myself, blargh blargh BLARGH how dare you help me you polite bastard!!!eleventy!!" She was blocking the second door the whole time, so I couldn't get away from her.

So, she goes gets one of the special wheelchair carts and I go back to doing my job. Well, little Ms. Doesn't Need My Help rolls up to the MOD and demands that he send someone around the store to help her. Guess who the MOD assigned to assist? Go on, guess.

Okay, it was me!

So, I get up there and just can't help myself "Oh, I'm sorry, but she already said she didn't need my help and that it was demeaning to her if I did help her." It was near to the time I finally left the store and I was getting pretty jaded with retail, anyway, so I wasn't too concerned about pissing off the higher ups.

The MOD wasn't very happy with me, to say the least. But it was worth it to see the look on the customer's face.

Now, fortunately, this reality check dropped her out of SC mode (wish that always worked!) and she apologized for yelling at me for holding the door. Even more so, after finding out I held the door because it was broken. When all was said and done, I did help her with her shopping that day and on several other occasions, but she was extremely polite to me each time. I guess my help wasn't so "demeaning" after all.

In fact, she even wrote a nice letter to my department manager about how I was a great employee.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

One of the worst customers we had in Kinko's was this little shit in a wheelchair. He liked to use his disability as a smokescreen to distract from the fact that he was sleazy, dishonest, nasty, and a blatant thief. He'd come in and try to rip us off and then when we argued with him, nearby people would look at us like WE were the pricks.

Same with a local woman here involved with the SCA. Horrible troll, this woman. However, she expects us to deal with her toxic personality because she's in a wheelchair.

A wheelchair is not a sign of sainthood.

Hell, I knew a guy who was pretty much paralyzed from the waist down, more or less, who could walk with the aid of arm brace type crutches who took the oportunity to fucking GROPE me while I was helping him get somewhere (he was about my size and didn't weigh much...so I could sling his arm over my shoulders and haul him along with me fairly well). I told him that was all well and good, but if he did it again, I was gonna dump him in the driveway without his sticks and throw a tarp over him.

He didn't do it again. I was only partially kidding.

I mean, I can get having a chip on your shoulder. I can get feeling frustrated and resentful. But it gets hard to bear when you haven't done anything to the person and they treat you like that.

[Chromatix]

Meanwhile, most reasonable people will try to hide their disabilities as best they can. Okay, there are some disabilities that are difficult or impossible to hide, but there are a lot that you can learn to make a lot less obvious.

These people have to be reminded and encouraged to ask for disabled assistance at the airport, because it makes life *so* much easier when you get it.

[Shangri-laschild]

While the disabled people have a priority over non disabled people as far as using the elevators, they are for everyone. Not to mention the fact that sometimes it isn't obvious that someone is disabled if you are just looking at them standing there. I hurt my knee bad a while back and for a little bit, stairs were too much for me. I could use them, but then any more walking would end up being fairly painful. On the other hand, if I did stuff like take the elevator, I would be able to walk around with barely a limp, if any. If they hadn't held it for her, that's one thing, but they did in fact hold it for her.

[ibor132]

<threadjack> Sixums, I'm thinking from your descriptions that we go to the same school. Always need to run into somebody else from the area on here. </threadjack>

[sixums]

Probably. Looking back on the description I made it pretty obvious if you go there which school it is.

Yeah, I was in LB when it happened. It's great to meet another person as well!

[draftermatt]

I hurt my knee bad a while back and for a little bit, stairs were too much for me. I could use them, but then any more walking would end up being fairly painful. r.

I was told by my doctor to avoid stairs as much as I could until I strengthen my knee caps more (they are quite weak, and cause occasional, sometimes long lasting pain).

But to the average person I probably look fat and lazy.

[ibor132]

Probably. Looking back on the description I made it pretty obvious if you go there which school it is.

Yeah, I was in LB when it happened. It's great to meet another person as well!

Ahh, thought so. The two campus thing was what really gave it away, but there's a lot of stuff about <school> that would make it pretty clear if you knew your way around.

Getting back on topic, some of the other buildings at our school mince words even less, with signs that literally say "Elevator is for handicapped use only". I don't personally have an issue with that, I always take the stairs (I get little enough excersize as it is, every little bit helps), but it's always struck me as a hair unrealsitic to put that on the honor system, particularly when they could just put it on the keycard system that a lot of other doors use.

I'm glad to say, however, that FWIW Sixums' experience is pretty atypical, at least from what I have seen.

[sixums]

I'm glad to say, however, that FWIW Sixums' experience is pretty atypical, at least from what I have seen.

I suppose that's what shocked me so much. Everyone here is so incredibly courteous. At the university I went to before I transferred here, no one was necessarily disrespectful, but they still wouldn't go out of their way to be nice. Being here on the other hand I think has taught me to be even more courteous and respectful to people. I always have people holding doors for me or helping me if I'm carrying a lot of books. It's such a nice thing to see, and let me tell you, spreading that little bit of kindness goes a long way. I try to be as helpful as I can to other people because of it.

[ibor132]

It's nice for sure, but I feel like an extra big jerk if I don't notice somebody behind me and don't hold the door or something like that.