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I did it! I succeeded in totally humiliating a stupid parent! While my mother was extremely embarrassed and....quite angry with me, I think the entire restaurant was secretly giving me an inaudiable roud of applause.
So last Friday, my mom and dad and I went to Pizza Hut to catch up on stuff (and I was waiting for my laundry to finish, which takes hours). Just as there MUST be at every restaurant everywhere 24/7........there was a stupid parent and, of course, a bratty toddler and a bratty child.
It was, of course, very typical, or should I say, stereotypical. Stupid soccer mom type woman (probably mid 30s, although desperately trying to hide it with more makeup than I wear, over teased, over coiffed hair, too much Elizabeth Taylor perfume, and, of course, beautiful gold earrings and necklace, and, well, what stupid soccer mom would be complete without her chirping Nextel walkie talkie phone superglued to her hand!) *my father has the same phone. I will never overcome my urge to toss it right out the window at an oncoming semi truck*
Anyways, stupid soccer mom is deep into her conversation that nearly the entire restaurant can hear, courtesy of Nextel's brilliant idea to make their phone a walkie talkie. (It's a pretty small Pizza Hut). But pretty soon, the conversation could no longer be heard, because what started to fill the room and make my ears want to bleed?
You guessed it! The high pitch, shrill, blood curdling noise of a child screaming. The bigger boy (probably 5 or so) was pulling the little boy's (probably 2 or 3) hair. The little one broke free, ducked under the table, and ran to the salad bar, where he proceeded to run into it.
*Forgive me, I know everyone is going to want to slap me for saying this, but I thought it was fricken hilarious........I love it when children bounce off of things*
But alas, the shreiking recommenced as soon as the little boy realized that ouch, this hurt my head. He began screaming his head off and running laps around the salad bar. The older boy was laughing at him.
Did stupid soccer mom get up to take her children to the bathroom to warn them that if they continued this obnoxious, EMBARRASSING behavior, that they'd be leaving? NOOOO......of course not! These two little boys are her ANGELS....they can't do any wrong. If she has to put up with these two warthogs screaming and laughing and beating on each other all day, surely everyone else in this restaurant must too! She just sat there with her mouth agape.....but it was probably because whomever she was walkie-talkying to just told her a deep dark secret about Mrs. Henderson, and the twins not being Mr. Henderson's babies.
After the little boy got over what happened, he seemed to have forgotten everything, and ran to his big brother, and they then proceeded to do laps TOGETHER around the salad bar, screaming their little heads off, and driving me to want to throw both of them out the door and at an oncoming semi truck. I'm sorry, but I despise children, and while I understand that we can't make "no children allowed" restaurants, no paying customer should have to deal with someone else's poorly behaved children and even worse non-existent parenting skills.
That's when I had it. I yelled, "Hey moron, get your children under control or take them to CHUCKY CHEESE where you all belong!"
My mother was exasperated and, through clenched teeth, said "BLAS! Just ignore them!" My dad didn't want to get in the middle of it, but later on that night, he told me that I did the right thing, and that some parents need a good embarrassment to prove how terrible they are.
The stupid woman was stunned. I think she nearly dropped her phone. She gave me a "HOW DARE YOU!" Look, which was returned from me with a "What the hell are you going to do about it?" Look. Under all those layers of caked on makeup, I swore I saw the deepest shade of red I've ever seen.
Unfortunately, my outburst didn't make the two little heathens stop screaming or running around. The Pizza Hut staff was probably too worried about getting in trouble if they'd have kicked them out, so unfortunately, the rest of the meal was spent the same way it started.......but the look on that woman's face was priceless.
Sure, I'm cruel, I'm evil, and I'm wicked. But it gave me so much joy to humilate and infuriate a stupid parent, and I don't regret doing it. I only wish I'd taken a picture.
So last Friday, my mom and dad and I went to Pizza Hut to catch up on stuff (and I was waiting for my laundry to finish, which takes hours). Just as there MUST be at every restaurant everywhere 24/7........there was a stupid parent and, of course, a bratty toddler and a bratty child.
It was, of course, very typical, or should I say, stereotypical. Stupid soccer mom type woman (probably mid 30s, although desperately trying to hide it with more makeup than I wear, over teased, over coiffed hair, too much Elizabeth Taylor perfume, and, of course, beautiful gold earrings and necklace, and, well, what stupid soccer mom would be complete without her chirping Nextel walkie talkie phone superglued to her hand!) *my father has the same phone. I will never overcome my urge to toss it right out the window at an oncoming semi truck*
Anyways, stupid soccer mom is deep into her conversation that nearly the entire restaurant can hear, courtesy of Nextel's brilliant idea to make their phone a walkie talkie. (It's a pretty small Pizza Hut). But pretty soon, the conversation could no longer be heard, because what started to fill the room and make my ears want to bleed?
You guessed it! The high pitch, shrill, blood curdling noise of a child screaming. The bigger boy (probably 5 or so) was pulling the little boy's (probably 2 or 3) hair. The little one broke free, ducked under the table, and ran to the salad bar, where he proceeded to run into it.
*Forgive me, I know everyone is going to want to slap me for saying this, but I thought it was fricken hilarious........I love it when children bounce off of things*
But alas, the shreiking recommenced as soon as the little boy realized that ouch, this hurt my head. He began screaming his head off and running laps around the salad bar. The older boy was laughing at him.
Did stupid soccer mom get up to take her children to the bathroom to warn them that if they continued this obnoxious, EMBARRASSING behavior, that they'd be leaving? NOOOO......of course not! These two little boys are her ANGELS....they can't do any wrong. If she has to put up with these two warthogs screaming and laughing and beating on each other all day, surely everyone else in this restaurant must too! She just sat there with her mouth agape.....but it was probably because whomever she was walkie-talkying to just told her a deep dark secret about Mrs. Henderson, and the twins not being Mr. Henderson's babies.
After the little boy got over what happened, he seemed to have forgotten everything, and ran to his big brother, and they then proceeded to do laps TOGETHER around the salad bar, screaming their little heads off, and driving me to want to throw both of them out the door and at an oncoming semi truck. I'm sorry, but I despise children, and while I understand that we can't make "no children allowed" restaurants, no paying customer should have to deal with someone else's poorly behaved children and even worse non-existent parenting skills.
That's when I had it. I yelled, "Hey moron, get your children under control or take them to CHUCKY CHEESE where you all belong!"
My mother was exasperated and, through clenched teeth, said "BLAS! Just ignore them!" My dad didn't want to get in the middle of it, but later on that night, he told me that I did the right thing, and that some parents need a good embarrassment to prove how terrible they are.
The stupid woman was stunned. I think she nearly dropped her phone. She gave me a "HOW DARE YOU!" Look, which was returned from me with a "What the hell are you going to do about it?" Look. Under all those layers of caked on makeup, I swore I saw the deepest shade of red I've ever seen.
Unfortunately, my outburst didn't make the two little heathens stop screaming or running around. The Pizza Hut staff was probably too worried about getting in trouble if they'd have kicked them out, so unfortunately, the rest of the meal was spent the same way it started.......but the look on that woman's face was priceless.
Sure, I'm cruel, I'm evil, and I'm wicked. But it gave me so much joy to humilate and infuriate a stupid parent, and I don't regret doing it. I only wish I'd taken a picture.
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