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Alright, so I stopped by <local chain of coffee shops> to get a tasty coffee before going to work. I left my house with plenty of time to run my errands and get coffee, so I wasn't concerned when I first walked in the door.
Now, when first arriving at said coffee shop, the parking lot was pretty full and there was only one spot left (which I of course took). As I get in line there are these 2 ladies in line who were chatting with the barista. Based on the "hurry the hell up before I throw hot coffee on you!!" expression on his face, he didn't even know them. So after chit-chatting about what coffees have what point-reward value, one of them (We'll call her Stupid #1) orders and pays... slowly. Then the next one (Stupid #2, waited during this conversation and her friend ordering without even once glancing at the menu?!) looks up at the menu board and says, "Well, hmmm.... What do I want?" NightWatch is now resisting the urge to slap/strangle this woman AND/OR pulling her own hair out.
The barista even shifted about noticably, as his colleague is falling dearly behind on her orders and he can't help her because these 2 idjits can't just order and move out of the way. But wait, there's more!!
Stupid #2 decides what she wants (finally!!) and is about to tell the nice man trying not to just hit her when Stupid #1 shouts to #2, "Hey lookee at how cute these little coffee cups are!!! They even have a spooooooon!" As she proceeds to show everyone exactly what you would do with said spoon if there were actually coffee in that cup...
for humanity. Stupid #1 also had to ask AGAIN how many reward-points her particular beverage was worth after Stupid #2 ordered and paid.
I was quite frustrated by the time I got to order and left the poor Barista a decent tip. But I think I broke something important in my brain when I saw that to make the drink I wanted, they just needed to add milk, flavor shots, and pre-blended coffee mix and swirl it around a bit. All that damn waiting for these chatty cows to move, and it takes all of 4 seconds to make my drink.
Is this story over yet? No!
When I got to my car and tried to leave, the parking lot had turned into a cluster fuck. All the spots had been taken, including the spots that are NOT spots. The driveway is wide enough that 3 cars can sit side-by-side with little room to spare, so 2 jack asses PARKED on either side of the DRIVEway so there was only room for one car to move through at a time. So that means as I was trying to leave, it caused a traffic jam and nearly an accident because the hordes of cars trying to get into the lot didn't realize that people were PARKED in the DRIVEway. Also this coffee shop is right on the corner of a fairly busy intersection, so people were backed up into the intersection.
Stupid #1 and Stupid #2, I sentence thee to 200 hours community service working with crazed, starving Polar Bears... In Nunavut... You will only wear clothes that are at least 70% pink camo. If you survive (chuckle), Iradney, Blas87, EvilQueen (share, woman!) and SmileyEagle will be disecting you, with nail clippers. Clip... Clip... Clip...
The 2 morons who PARKED in the DRIVEway, you will be sent to warm, humid tropical place where parasites abound in the soil. They will infest every orifice until you start dragging your ass on the floor like an infected dog. Then because that's just icky and no one would wanna risk the contamination, we'll just throw you on pyre or something.
And for the 2 cops who just hung out in the parking lot watching this vehicular disaster, I hope you somehow manage to get handcuffed to each other and can't reach your delicious coffee beverages.
Oh, and I was late for work because of all of this. Die in a fire.
Now, when first arriving at said coffee shop, the parking lot was pretty full and there was only one spot left (which I of course took). As I get in line there are these 2 ladies in line who were chatting with the barista. Based on the "hurry the hell up before I throw hot coffee on you!!" expression on his face, he didn't even know them. So after chit-chatting about what coffees have what point-reward value, one of them (We'll call her Stupid #1) orders and pays... slowly. Then the next one (Stupid #2, waited during this conversation and her friend ordering without even once glancing at the menu?!) looks up at the menu board and says, "Well, hmmm.... What do I want?" NightWatch is now resisting the urge to slap/strangle this woman AND/OR pulling her own hair out.
The barista even shifted about noticably, as his colleague is falling dearly behind on her orders and he can't help her because these 2 idjits can't just order and move out of the way. But wait, there's more!!
Stupid #2 decides what she wants (finally!!) and is about to tell the nice man trying not to just hit her when Stupid #1 shouts to #2, "Hey lookee at how cute these little coffee cups are!!! They even have a spooooooon!" As she proceeds to show everyone exactly what you would do with said spoon if there were actually coffee in that cup...
for humanity. Stupid #1 also had to ask AGAIN how many reward-points her particular beverage was worth after Stupid #2 ordered and paid.I was quite frustrated by the time I got to order and left the poor Barista a decent tip. But I think I broke something important in my brain when I saw that to make the drink I wanted, they just needed to add milk, flavor shots, and pre-blended coffee mix and swirl it around a bit. All that damn waiting for these chatty cows to move, and it takes all of 4 seconds to make my drink.
Is this story over yet? No!
When I got to my car and tried to leave, the parking lot had turned into a cluster fuck. All the spots had been taken, including the spots that are NOT spots. The driveway is wide enough that 3 cars can sit side-by-side with little room to spare, so 2 jack asses PARKED on either side of the DRIVEway so there was only room for one car to move through at a time. So that means as I was trying to leave, it caused a traffic jam and nearly an accident because the hordes of cars trying to get into the lot didn't realize that people were PARKED in the DRIVEway. Also this coffee shop is right on the corner of a fairly busy intersection, so people were backed up into the intersection.
Stupid #1 and Stupid #2, I sentence thee to 200 hours community service working with crazed, starving Polar Bears... In Nunavut... You will only wear clothes that are at least 70% pink camo. If you survive (chuckle), Iradney, Blas87, EvilQueen (share, woman!) and SmileyEagle will be disecting you, with nail clippers. Clip... Clip... Clip...
The 2 morons who PARKED in the DRIVEway, you will be sent to warm, humid tropical place where parasites abound in the soil. They will infest every orifice until you start dragging your ass on the floor like an infected dog. Then because that's just icky and no one would wanna risk the contamination, we'll just throw you on pyre or something.
And for the 2 cops who just hung out in the parking lot watching this vehicular disaster, I hope you somehow manage to get handcuffed to each other and can't reach your delicious coffee beverages.
Oh, and I was late for work because of all of this. Die in a fire.
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