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Subway make great sandwiches, not great bedrooms.

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  • Subway make great sandwiches, not great bedrooms.

    Not sucky, just wierd and funny.

    I went out for a night on the town with a frined of mine tonight. I've been feeling kinda down so a bit of a bender was just the ticket.

    Anywy, i hadn't eaten today and the drink was hitting me hard so we made our way into the Subway next to the bar we'd just left.

    There was a guy lenaing on the counter but i stopped paying attention to him while i ordered my sandwich (Mm, chicken teriyaki) until I moved over to pay for my food. Since he was leaning over on the bit in front of the register he was blocking my way.

    I considered asking him to move when suddenly he began to snore out loud! He'd fallen asleep! I know it's cruel but the employees, my friend and me spent a few minutes laughing at this guy's expense and specualting on how much he'd imbibed, through this we got some background info.

    Apparently this guy had wandered in about fiteen minutes earlier and demanded everyone leave because he lived there! (wha?!) He'd then ordered a sub of the day and promptly fallen asleep.

    It was around then that i commented that the only thing really keeping him upright was one of his legs braced out behind him. By whatever good fortune it is that takes care of drunks he was balanced perfectly to prevent him moving.

    We were told that a group of lads who had been in had attempted to wake him at one point, but yelling at him and shaking his shoulder had prompted nothing more than the occasionl grunt.

    Amused but hungry my friend and i sat down and began to eat, at which point the guy woke up! He took a few bites of the sandwich which until then we'd been unable to see due to his position and promptly went back to sleep.

    We spent a few more minutes watching him and giggling a little, well, he was safe, warm and obviously drunk, we didn't feel too bad about it.

    I was about halfway through my sndwich when a bouncer from a local club came in (they often get coffee from there on the coldest nights, and it was snowing) and found the guy. He gently shook him awake and guided him out of the door. The drunken man protested that he didn't want to "get nicked" but after being reassured he wasn't being arrested he gathered up his sandwich and left.

    Very surreal.

  • #2
    Not what I expected, my bleak outlook on humanity coupled with my mind perpetually lodged in the sewer sparked an image of a couple having sex of some form in the Subway.
    Pretend there's something here that sounds insightful, but is really just some pseudo-intellectual bull.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm sure that's happened at some point.

      I apologise for the typos in that post, does anyone have some asprin?

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Skrae View Post
        Not what I expected, my bleak outlook on humanity coupled with my mind perpetually lodged in the sewer sparked an image of a couple having sex of some form in the Subway.
        Well, you're not the only one...
        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
          Well, you're not the only one...
          Thirded. Sex was the first thing I thought of too.
          Osoroshii kangae nimo osoware masu...

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          • #6
            I dunno why but the fact that he has a sandwich tucked away safely, and that he wakes up to take a few bites, is hilarious to me.
            wouldn't lube work better in a f***ing machine?
            ----
            Yes, that’s right. It’s a pair of gold foil headphones. Gold foil. Finally, headphones just as awful as your taste in music.

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            • #7
              God loves fools and drunkards. Perhaps he was both?
              https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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              • #8
                Skrae, don't feel bad. I thought the same thing.




                And was disappointed to find out I was wrong.
                Unseen but seeing
                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                3rd shift needs love, too
                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Becks View Post
                  Skrae, don't feel bad. I thought the same thing.




                  And was disappointed to find out I was wrong.
                  May I join you under that bag?
                  "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

                  I belly dance with tall Goblins!

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                  • #10
                    Quoth McGoddess09 View Post
                    May I join you under that bag?
                    *has a violent coughing fit*

                    Okay, there goes my mind into the sewer!
                    ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
                    And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

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                    • #11
                      Quoth JustADude View Post
                      *has a violent coughing fit*

                      Okay, there goes my mind into the sewer!
                      Yup, me too. May I join you in the sewer?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth McGoddess09 View Post
                        May I join you under that bag?
                        There's plenty of room!!

                        Quoth JustADude View Post
                        Okay, there goes my mind into the sewer!
                        When did it leave the sewer in the first place?
                        Unseen but seeing
                        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                        3rd shift needs love, too
                        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Becks View Post
                          When did it leave the sewer in the first place?
                          Yeah, no kidding. There's a place for minds that doesn't involve gutters or sewers? I think I read about that in a book somewhere, but it can't possibly be true...
                          Osoroshii kangae nimo osoware masu...

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                          • #14
                            The words "subway," "sandwich," and "drunk," pulled a long supressed memory out of my brain...

                            About twenty years ago, I was riding the subway home from work, when a drunk guy sat across from me, pulled an unwrapped ice cream sandwich from his pocket and started eating it.

                            I also remember that he was nice enough to offer me a bite.

                            I said "no, thank you."
                            The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

                            The stupid is strong with this one.

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