condoms and sharpies

[ohsobitter]

Not sucky, but funny.

At Meijer the other day, I was using the self checkouts, the newer ones for the big orders. Putting the last few items in my bags and the guy behind me started scanning his order. I hadn't put the divider up, since I was almost done, so everything came down to the very end where I was standing.

His order consisited of:
3 boxes of magnum condoms, extra large
2 or 3 large black sharpies
some lip balm

I couldn't look at him, I was laughing so hard. Absolutely made my day.

[Becks]

Did he look like he was college age?

[ohsobitter]

Mid-20's maybe, I've never been good with ages though. I thought it might be the beginnings of a prank too, but it was just a little odd if it was that he was alone. They like to travel in packs around here.

[PepperElf]

ROFL.
i once read a thread where they tried to come up with the most bizarre things to bring through the checkout along with condoms.

my personal entry was based on blue man group... (props used in the show...)
condoms*, tempura paint, twinkies, tolberone

*(yes they use condoms for the paint balls)

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, since we are on the subject of condoms, I've been meaning to bring this up: any of you ever seen a box of condoms that WASN'T large?

I mean, think about it. Ever seen a "small" size in condoms? I do not think they sell such a thing. I bet if they sold rubbers for gnats and fruit flies they would still be marketed as "large" size.

I'm dead serious.

[PepperElf]

where i worked last we had our own medical department and one of the offices had a plexiglass slot thing on the outside of the door... full of condoms.

their own private joke was that the guys ONLY took the condoms from the slots marked "large" and "extra large"... but they were really all one size.


so even if a man needed "snug fit" (yeah the companies dont actually call them small) i doubt he'd own up to it. :LOL:

[fireheart]

You can get small size but only by special order. These are the ones I've found:

Regular
Large
Form-fitting (also "snug"....no, I won't explain it here but it's NOT small)
Ribbed
Studded
Ribbed and studded
Coloured
Flavoured (understandable)
and my personal favourites....quickies (as in you apply the condom quickly using some tape system)
aaand long-lasting (they have something in them that delays ejaculation....yeah, THAT's funny )

Sorry, that was a bit off topic, but I thought I'd share.

EDIT: Thank you Chromatix I almost forgot about glow-in-the-dark ones...and me and little sister were making fun of those for weeks! (the ad went something like "Is that a real lightsaber or are you just turning me on?" in Australian radio)

Also don't ask me about how I know this crap when my sex life is non-existent.

[Becks]

Coloured

Colored ones are snazzy.

I really kinda like the glow-in-the-dark ones.

[Chromatix]

Apparently the glow-in-the-dark ones aren't as safe as usual, so they're for novelty value only. You have to swap them for a normal one when you're ready, or not really need them in the first place.

Funnily enough, I'm among those who actually *does* need the larger size (length doesn't matter, width does), and it's actually quite tricky to find them in shops. The normal-sized ones are just almost impossible to put on.

I can get plain ones in large size from mail-order establishments, but I've also discovered that one of the "textured" types also happens to be slightly bigger than usual, which is enough. The lesson is to actually read the size information!

[Salted Grump]

To paraphrase 'Red Dwarf'

'Yeh; we used to go fishing at the Canal, but there were no fish in it, so instead we went Condom Fishing.

'My record was a Two pound, black ribbed knobbler.'

(the response was a chorus of groans, mind, but it was funny in context)

[JLRodgers]

I mean, think about it. Ever seen a "small" size in condoms? I do not think they sell such a thing. I bet if they sold rubbers for gnats and fruit flies they would still be marketed as "large" size.

If you count the "finger-protector" things (basically condom-looking things for fingers).... which I've seen some stores put them next to the condoms..... it made me wonder.

[Rapscallion]

Funnily enough, I'm among those who actually *does* need the larger size (length doesn't matter, width does), and it's actually quite tricky to find them in shops. The normal-sized ones are just almost impossible to put on.

I've managed to get a standard condom to fit without breaking over my head. I'm aghast.

Rapscallion

[crazylegs]

I've managed to get a standard condom to fit without breaking over my head. I'm aghast.

Rapscallion

I've heard rumours about postboxes and condoms...

[Chromatix]

Yeah, well, it's a lot harder to fit it on something that is, shall we say, sensitive. :P

Also, the problem is made more difficult by the recommended method of application, which involves unrolling in situ. Which means you have to fit the ring of rolled rubber (which therefore has that much more tension) on it, not just the single layer.

I have managed to deal with "normal" sized condoms by unrolling them beforehand, and that did make things much quicker and easier, but I didn't rely on those examples. (I think they were already expired anyway, so I could experiment with them without waste.)

[Primer]

my personal entry was based on blue man group... (props used in the show...)
condoms*, tempura paint, twinkies, tolberone

Bolding mine....is that the paint used in Chinese restaurants before deep frying stuff?