Hey don't throw that in my yard

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

On a similar bit of doggy meyhem. I was beseiged by a dog who would knock over the trash cans and would spread the garbage all over the yard. Bungee cords were not an option as the city workers would not touch them.

Something to do with the fact that one dumbass garbage collector was dicking around with one and ended up almost Darwining himself our of the gene pool when the thing wrapped around his neck and hooking into the flesh. So due to his jackassery, we can't dog proof our cans anymore.

So one day I'm digging through the boxes in the garage and I find the old box for the electric fence power supply. The Cattle Strength electric fence. The deter 1500 pounds of angry pot roast fence.

Getting a really evil idea, I line the can with some gridded wire mesh and hook up the box. I also plug the extension cord to the outlet controlled by the switch next to the front door.

Garbage day comes and I set the trap. Sure enough Admiral Barky Von Schnauser trots down the road and I see him coming. I wait next to the switch.

As per his usual, the dog knocks over the can and walks headfirst into the can. As he gets partly in he lifts his leg and fires off a nice stream. Being evil I flipped the switch.

Now just to let you know...this kind of electric fence isn't strong enough to hurt a dog of that size. I used to play with the live wire on the farm when I was a 5-year old and far lighter than that dog was. I'm thinking Mastif by the way the body shape is...so big dog. This will not hurt the dog...much more than the initial surprise and I'm sure I beat his pride within an inch of it's life...but other than that I assure you that the dog was fine.

Now as I said, this is a big dog. Big enough than any time it goes face first into the can, it has to back out since the dog is that big. Normally. This time however when the stream hit the wire, he went in head first and came out head first. The only way for that dog to have been able to do that by my calculations would be for the dog to go into it's own mouth and come out it's ass.

Human - 1, Dog - 0

I go out and remove the power leads before the garbage collectors get there. Next week's pickup and the dog comes back. He tips over the can three houses away, the can two houses away, the neighbor's can, tucks it's tail between it's legs and walks to the other side of the streat away from my can, knocks over the other neighbor's can, etc, etc.

I win.

[yomiko]

When our house was a new development, there were no fences up yet and the neighbour behind us and down one (i.e. only the corners of our properties touched) would have his dog relieve himself all over our yard all the time. My father just waited until they had a barbecue one day and -- acting like they weren't even there -- calmly scraped it up onto a piece of cardboard and scattered it on their side of the property line in front of their horrified (and no longer eating) guests.

They had a fence up within a month.

[Yurimaru]

My folks have a neighbor like these... He has a large Shepherd/Collie mix and walks the dog along the block, letting him take a dump wherever he pleases. My Mom and the other neighbors are always complaining about him.

One day, I am pulling into the driveway to visit my folks and there is Ol' Man Doggie Dumper, watching his dog take a large one on the lawn of the neighbor across the street. So, I fish a plastic grocery bag out of the car, and gleefully zip over,

"HERE you are, would you like a bag? I noticed you forgot yours!"

He stammers, "Uh, thank you...." He takes the bag and makes use of it, while I go back to my car.

We've seen him since, and every time he now carries a bag and scoops the poo.

[Dips]

So, I fish a plastic grocery bag out of the car, and gleefully zip over,

"HERE you are, would you like a bag? I noticed you forgot yours!"

He stammers, "Uh, thank you...." He takes the bag and makes use of it, while I go back to my car.

That is wickely perfect.

[slavetotheman]

There haven't been any cigarette butts since, and there absolutely will not be.

Seeing as how suckiness and stupidity are impervious to logic, I'll bet anything the landlady will pat herself on the back at the effective chewing-out she gave you last year.

[ditchdj]

There was a story about this in the news a few years ago. Some idiot kept leaving his dog run loose and letting it do his thing on the guy's lawn. The homeowner finally got fed up and kicked the dog like a soccor ball and killed it. He was put on trial for "animal cruelty", but after the facts all came out and the jury saw how thick and bull-headed the "owner" was he was found NOT guilty! Saw this trial on (then) Court TV. The defense attorney was asking the idiot dog owner question and eventually said, "So you just pretty much thing you can do whatever you want, right???" The jerkoff couldn't give the defense attorney a straight answer to that.

[MadMike]

Some idiot kept leaving his dog run loose and letting it do his thing on the guy's lawn. The homeowner finally got fed up and kicked the dog like a soccor ball and killed it.

I'm sorry, but that's just wrong. Granted, the dog's owner shouldn't have been letting it shit everywhere, but killing the dog was going way overboard. It's not the dog's fault that its owner was a jackass.

[AriRashkae]

He probably didn't plan on killing it. He was likely thinking if he gave the dog a good swift kick, it'd learn it's lesson and not come back.