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So, upon request of DataJager asking why this story hadn't been posted yet, I shall now detail a story from mine and EQ's shopping trip before graduation, that was left out of her set of sightings.
Now, if you recall, we were attempting to find me nice clothes in which to graduate. Alas, some of the stand alone stores disappointed, and so we girded our loins, strengthened our wills and braced our minds for a fierce melee.
That's right. We went to the mall. A week before Christmas. <shudder>
During the hunt for clothes and shoes, EQ was blindsided by the wicked, wicked sorcery that was Godiva's Chocolatier. Chocolate, being a personal health hazard of mine, held no sway over me, but I dutifully followed EQ. (Mostly so we wouldn't lose each other in the crush, but I digress). she had made a vow: the next time she was at Godiva's she was going to purchase their infamous ambrosia!!
So, I'm standing there, waiting while she makes selections and breathing in the heavenly aromas, as that's about the only thing I can intake without grevious self harm. And then, the enemy struck. An awkward looking teenage boy in an employee's apron, who looked like he was in the middle of a growth spurt, and thus all gangly and skinny, and more limbs than anything. But oh, he did try his best to be dutiful and provide good customer service. He approached us. Oh and a brief skirmish ensued!!
AB (Awkward Boy): Hi, can I help you find anything today?
Me: (Cheerfully gesturing to EQ) Oh, she's just picking out some truffles. I'm along for the ride, since there isn't anything I can eat in here anyways.
AB: <Trying very hard and failing to hide that he's looking me up and down with a vaguely judgmental look on his face at my..ahem...overly curvaceous self.>
AB: Well, we DO have sugar-free chocolates. Miss.
Me: <Eyebrow twitch: You calling me fat, boy? I respond quite calmly, though>
Me: Actually, I'm allergic after a fashion. I can't ingest chocolate, it causes problems for me. It's the caffeine
AB: <Backpedaling fiercely, trying to save his skin. The look on his face was quite amusing, as he tried to find common ground to commiserate> Oh...uh...well, when I have a lot of caffeine, it gives me headaches. Like migraines!
Me: <Completely deadpan, I swoop in for the killing blow> It gives me seizures. <Proceeds to go into a polite explanation of how and why it affects my brain and watches his eyes go wider. I can also see EQ's reflection in the glass as she tries not to giggle>
AB: Er...uh...well...if you need any further help...er...youcanletoneofusknowkthxbai!! <And yet another opponent defeated as he flees into the sunset>
Strangely, he didn't seem to be in the store much after that while we were waiting to check out. I think he was sent to the back room to re-stock or something. Now, I KNOW I'm fat. Chunky, rubenesque, big-boned, however you want to call it, I'm it. I gots curves. Big boobs and a big butt. Oh well. It was rather insulting to be eyed like livestock then offered sugar-free chocolate, as though that would cure all my ails.
I would normally give the benefit of the doubt, and think someone suspecting something like diabetes if it hadn't been for that once-over look. I told EQ later that she may not have caught the look, attempting to explain my bloodless verbal evisceration of the boy, but she interrupted me and said
EQ: Oh no, I saw it. What a douche!!
Me:
So, thus ends our quest into Godiva. EQ procured her treasure, I fought a rather one sided battle, and we were refreshed enough to continue our epic questing for clothing and shoes.
[Fin!!
Now, if you recall, we were attempting to find me nice clothes in which to graduate. Alas, some of the stand alone stores disappointed, and so we girded our loins, strengthened our wills and braced our minds for a fierce melee.
That's right. We went to the mall. A week before Christmas. <shudder>
During the hunt for clothes and shoes, EQ was blindsided by the wicked, wicked sorcery that was Godiva's Chocolatier. Chocolate, being a personal health hazard of mine, held no sway over me, but I dutifully followed EQ. (Mostly so we wouldn't lose each other in the crush, but I digress). she had made a vow: the next time she was at Godiva's she was going to purchase their infamous ambrosia!!
So, I'm standing there, waiting while she makes selections and breathing in the heavenly aromas, as that's about the only thing I can intake without grevious self harm. And then, the enemy struck. An awkward looking teenage boy in an employee's apron, who looked like he was in the middle of a growth spurt, and thus all gangly and skinny, and more limbs than anything. But oh, he did try his best to be dutiful and provide good customer service. He approached us. Oh and a brief skirmish ensued!!
AB (Awkward Boy): Hi, can I help you find anything today?
Me: (Cheerfully gesturing to EQ) Oh, she's just picking out some truffles. I'm along for the ride, since there isn't anything I can eat in here anyways.
AB: <Trying very hard and failing to hide that he's looking me up and down with a vaguely judgmental look on his face at my..ahem...overly curvaceous self.>
AB: Well, we DO have sugar-free chocolates. Miss.
Me: <Eyebrow twitch: You calling me fat, boy? I respond quite calmly, though>
Me: Actually, I'm allergic after a fashion. I can't ingest chocolate, it causes problems for me. It's the caffeine
AB: <Backpedaling fiercely, trying to save his skin. The look on his face was quite amusing, as he tried to find common ground to commiserate> Oh...uh...well, when I have a lot of caffeine, it gives me headaches. Like migraines!
Me: <Completely deadpan, I swoop in for the killing blow> It gives me seizures. <Proceeds to go into a polite explanation of how and why it affects my brain and watches his eyes go wider. I can also see EQ's reflection in the glass as she tries not to giggle>
AB: Er...uh...well...if you need any further help...er...youcanletoneofusknowkthxbai!! <And yet another opponent defeated as he flees into the sunset>
Strangely, he didn't seem to be in the store much after that while we were waiting to check out. I think he was sent to the back room to re-stock or something. Now, I KNOW I'm fat. Chunky, rubenesque, big-boned, however you want to call it, I'm it. I gots curves. Big boobs and a big butt. Oh well. It was rather insulting to be eyed like livestock then offered sugar-free chocolate, as though that would cure all my ails.
I would normally give the benefit of the doubt, and think someone suspecting something like diabetes if it hadn't been for that once-over look. I told EQ later that she may not have caught the look, attempting to explain my bloodless verbal evisceration of the boy, but she interrupted me and said
EQ: Oh no, I saw it. What a douche!!
Me:
So, thus ends our quest into Godiva. EQ procured her treasure, I fought a rather one sided battle, and we were refreshed enough to continue our epic questing for clothing and shoes.
[Fin!!
Sugar-free chocolate is much higher in fat than regular chocolate. They actually recommend AGAINST eating it if you're diabetic. It also contains a lot of chocolate liquor which can cause diarrhea and anal leaking (I've always loved that term LOL) when consumed in large amounts, or for people who are particularly sensitive to it.
Nice handling. I bet his future retail career will be far more circumspect.
)
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