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  • #1

    Buffet Hell

    I'm standing in the holding pen of the new big buffet in town. What a repellant see of humanity. Like the guy who keeps leaning into me in order to look out the window.

    There is the families that have planted themselves in front of the greeter stand. I practically had to use my Kung Fu on them to get them to pry apart so I could leave my info.

    I suspect I am going to need a drink before I take on the actual buffet in order to relax myself enough so I don't start taking the worst of the inbread-mouthbreathing EW sheeple out.
    I'm to pretty for prison.
    Last edited by The Gatekeeper; 01-25-2009, 02:14 AM. Reason: typing on my Palm
    "smacked upside the head by the harsh of daylight" - Tori Amos "The Beauty of Speed"


    a sucking chest wound is merely mother nature's way of telling you to slow down - Arm
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  • #2
    Oh dear.

    I've seen you when you're in a stressing situation surrounded by stupidity.

    I'm sure you've shown remarkable restraint and I'm very proud.
    Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

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    • #3
      Well I didn't kill anyone. Didn't even maim them.

      However the cross section of mullets, thuggins (my nickname of wannabe gangsta's), trailer trash, and yuppie scum was impressive. Cheap, plentiful food is a great equalizer.

      I do not understand the philosophy of assembling your group right in front of the entrance into the dinning room, so that as the names are called people have to try and shove around their asses. All the while they talk loudly and scowl at those trying to go through. The names are called in order people. No one is jumping the queue in front of you. It's NOT YOUR TURN YET.

      Food was good. Service was friendly. I'm not in jail. A good night out, I think.
      "smacked upside the head by the harsh of daylight" - Tori Amos "The Beauty of Speed"


      a sucking chest wound is merely mother nature's way of telling you to slow down - Arm

      Comment

      • #4
        Oh good. We don't need to take up a collection for bail money.
        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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        • #5
          Quoth The Gatekeeper View Post
          I do not understand the philosophy of assembling your group right in front of the entrance into the dinning room, so that as the names are called people have to try and shove around their asses. All the while they talk loudly and scowl at those trying to go through. The names are called in order people. No one is jumping the queue in front of you. It's NOT YOUR TURN YET.
          If you apply SC logic, that philosophy is perfectly logical. By blocking the entrance and scowling at people trying to get past, they might discourage another party which isn't assertive enough to push through, and that other party might go elsewhere instead. This will remove a group that's in line ahead of them, so their turn will come up faster.
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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          • #6
            While buffets are great, the clientele are not. Whatever you do, don't go to a buffet in a casino.
            Quote Dalesys:
            ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

            Comment

            • #7
              My dad and I popped over to the Buffalo Thunder resort/casino outside Santa Fe once when I was there to just check the place out. The buffet was more high-end than most, then again the entire hotel was as well (buffet was located in the hotel/resort proper, while we saw a lot of casual dress it was resort-casual and therefore still fairly nice).

              But yeah, I suppose it wouldn't be amiss to see the CSI depictions of casino buffets as the norm. Yeesh.
              Last edited by Dreamstalker; 01-27-2009, 03:46 PM.
              "I am quite confident that I do exist."
              "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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              • #8
                My favorites are the ones who complain "weren't we here first" at restaurants that feature things like reservations or call ahead seating.

                Bonus points if they are asked if they called in ahead or not.

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                • #9
                  Quoth draggar View Post
                  Whatever you do, don't go to a buffet in a casino.
                  I did.

                  It wasn't bad at all.

                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                  • #10
                    It probably depends exactly where one goes; I would think that the "$1.99 all you can eat" ones attract the failed social experiments, while the buffets that are actually located inside shiny resort hotels have a higher standard (and in all likelihood better food).
                    "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                    "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                    • #11
                      Quoth draggar View Post
                      While buffets are great, the clientele are not. Whatever you do, don't go to a buffet in a casino.
                      I've been to the buffet at The Orleans in Las Vegas several times. Very good food, lots of it, and reasonably priced. It's said to be a favorite of the locals.

                      And I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary in terms of suckage.
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                      • #12
                        On people who take up too much room...

                        A while back Mr. Dips and I went into our favorite local restaurant.

                        It has spacious enough lobby but we were behind a family of four who somehow managed to take up every square inch of space. I'm picturing this in my head and I still don't know how they did it within the laws of normal space-time.

                        Nevertheless Mr. Dips and I were crammed by the entrance door and he was unable to fully close it behind him. We didn't say anything because they were talking to the hostess and about to be seated and out of the way. But, for some reason, that very simple transaction was taking forever.

                        Then another couple tried to come in behind us as we were blocking the door. They waited about 3 seconds before starting the with the "Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me." The door was glass. If they'd looked they could have seen what was going on ahead of us.

                        Finally Mr. Dips said, "As soon as I can move. I'll be out of your way."

                        This calmed the couple behind us down as they realized it wasn't our fault. But it sure elicited a cat bum face from the father of the group ahead of us.
                        The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

                        The stupid is strong with this one.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth The Gatekeeper View Post

                          There is the families that have planted themselves in front of the greeter stand. I practically had to use my Kung Fu on them to get them to pry apart so I could leave my info.
                          Bamf. Fu Jow grip to deltoid other hand gripping the forearm. Sink your weight into a low sei ping ma and pull. They'd have fallen over, and thus you are onto buffet freedom! I'd call that form Hak Fu Golden Corral Jow Fa

                          And no, I don't condone violence. I just can't help it - I have to jump on every instance of the term "kung fu" used! Ever!

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                          • #14
                            I just figured a few shots to the throat, and then step over the crumbled bodies.

                            However, I just read JM's last thread about instant cheques, and maybe a few well placed kicks to the junk, and then, Buffet Freedom!

                            Hey JM, if you ever come to Canadaland, we really must go out to dinner.
                            "smacked upside the head by the harsh of daylight" - Tori Amos "The Beauty of Speed"


                            a sucking chest wound is merely mother nature's way of telling you to slow down - Arm

                            Comment

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