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Almost went postal at Subway

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  • Almost went postal at Subway

    And not at the employees.

    I was just so disgusted by all this that I couldn't come up with a way to formulate it. I've tried to post, deleted, tried, deleted, closed the window, etc., so many times.

    Okay, I was at Subway to get a sandwich for a coworker for lunch. I was in line behind what had to be the absolute either dumbest or most shellshocked just-escaped-the-commune woman I've ever seen.

    First of all, she forgot what she was there to get. So she called her husband and decided she needed to get three sandwiches, one for him, one for her, and one for the bemused toddler girl standing next to her, who spent the entire time knawing on an apple and watching her mother, apparently enjoying the show. This would be fine if she'd actually have gotten out of line, but no, she halfway ordered, then stopped and made the call and kept mumbling ingredients.

    Well, she gets that done, and starts to order again...and abruptly grabs out her phone again and calls her husband again. I know, she kept announcing she had to call her husband. This actually came out of her mouth. I shit you not. I could not get paid enough to make this up.

    "Honey, what kind of bread is it I like again?"



    (Oh my God, I started rubbing my face because I actually facepalmed again remembering and it feels SOOOO good.)

    You know...actually, I was going to describe the rest of the visit, like the absolute shock and awe that came from actually having to CHOOSE what kinds of vegetables and dressing she'd get on her sandwich...but I'm just so disgusted and irritated at it. At one point, I literally snapped to the awareness that my hand was going for the back of her head to grab her by the hair and slam her head into the counter. She took, bare minimum, 15 minutes to get through the line, let alone actually pick out if she wanted a meal and find the methods to PAY. Never have I seen such a simpering, indecisive, stupid female. Not a nervous type that might make me think she was abused or something...the giggling, flakey, 40-but-still-thinks-she's-18 type that's just doing it because Jessica Simpson was the only person who was ever remotely cute doing it...five years ago...and this woman never got the memo to STOP IT.

    So, yeah...kinda still all...rarrrrgh.
    "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

  • #2
    !5 minutes.

    For three subs? Wow, that's gotta be some kind of record. Mysty, you have my sympathies for having to watch that drivel!
    A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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    • #3
      Now what, exactly, makes some people think it's acceptable and even preferable to go around acting all "Duh duhhh I'm a retard!" like that?

      I would've said something. There's no reason why I should have to waste my entire lunch break because I got stuck behind a finalist for the World's Stupidest Person award.

      Decide what you're going to order and for whom before you go to the restaurant. This isn't that difficult.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        And if you -know- that you're that stupid and have the short term memory of a helium molecule, then for crying out loud, have someone who knows which end of the pencil goes on the paper write down the order for you. And show it or hand it to the person assembling your order (have to go with the presumption here that anyone that stupid probably can't read).
        You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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        • #5
          But Irv, that would make sense. And we all know what happens when something makes sense.
          It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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          • #6
            the evil side of me ... well .. dang, you can't smash her head, as fun as that sounds, so i'll go with my lesser-evil-self that says "just barge in front of her"

            when she complains just say... "does it matter? you'll just forget what you like and spend 10 more minutes on the phone trying to figure it out anyway. I don't have time to wait for you to grow a brain"

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth MystyGlyttyr View Post
              ...the giggling, flakey, 40-but-still-thinks-she's-18 type that's just doing it because Jessica Simpson was the only person who was ever remotely cute doing it...five years ago...and this woman never got the memo to STOP IT.
              These are the only type of women who ever hit on me anymore, and they repulse the hell out of me. I swear it must be one of the universe's cruel ironies, similar to how cats always love people who can't stand cats.

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              • #8
                Quoth MystyGlyttyr View Post
                At one point, I literally snapped to the awareness that my hand was going for the back of her head to grab her by the hair and slam her head into the counter.
                I doubt she would have noticed if you had
                I wasnt put on this earth to make you feel like a man ~ Mary Bertone

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                • #9
                  Not only that (she wouldn't notice), but it probably would have improved the Subway employees' day considerably!

                  (OK, no violence... but I bet even making motions toward her, or miming all kinds of things behind her, would have been funny).

                  (Also, am I the only one who finds it terrifying that these people have driver's licenses, and incredibly unjust that they have more money than I do??)

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                  • #10
                    Quoth PepperElf View Post
                    when she complains just say... "does it matter? you'll just forget what you like and spend 10 more minutes on the phone trying to figure it out anyway. I don't have time to wait for you to grow a brain"
                    And that's going to be one hell of a wait!
                    It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Buglady View Post
                      (Also, am I the only one who finds it terrifying that these people have driver's licenses, and incredibly unjust that they have more money than I do??)
                      Not at all. And if you're job-hunting, I guaran-damn-tee you they'll get the job you've been trying your best to get!

                      (Bitter? Me?! Naah...)
                      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                      My LiveJournal
                      A page we can all agree with!

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                      • #12
                        Women used to come into Kinko's and do stuff like that. Maybe not that bad (your story pretty much takes the cake) but bad enough I can more than sympathize with the urge to slam her head into the counter.

                        It used to drive me nuts. They were so incompentent they couldn't choose a damn paper. It's paper! Pick what you like! Geeze! They'd come in and go "What does everyone else get?"

                        Who cares what everyone else gets? Get what you want! That's what everyone else gets, they get whatever they want! It's fking paper! It's not life or death!

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Danno View Post
                          These are the only type of women who ever hit on me anymore, and they repulse the hell out of me.
                          You get women hitting on you?

                          What's that like? Just curious.

                          Rapscallion

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                          • #14
                            and that's why i often stand back... when someone else comes up behind me I tell them "I don't know what I want yet" so they can go ahead while I browse the menu.

                            except at subway. i usually know what i want from there

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Kittish View Post
                              And if you -know- that you're that stupid and have the short term memory of a helium molecule, then for crying out loud, have someone who knows which end of the pencil goes on the paper write down the order for you. And show it or hand it to the person assembling your order (have to go with the presumption here that anyone that stupid probably can't read).
                              Well even if they could read they'd probably be the ones who painstakingly have their sandwich made, arrive at the till and then say "I'd also like a......"
                              Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

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