How to NOT help your family member recover.....OR LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE

[Toujin]

Judging by the description of these 'family members', I'll bet they make snide comments at their poor mother's expense too...

[protege]

Even if this woman has insurance, it will pay to a certain point. From that point, it may pay less until another point. Then it may drop all together.

Yep, it does run out after awhile. They'll only pay for so much. When my grandmother was in the hospital after her '94 auto accident (some dipshit in a gravel truck rear-ended her car...forcing it into the path of a semi coming the other way ), all of her insurance was used to pay for it. She was damn lucky she wasn't killed, and looked the part when I saw her--two broken shoulders, dislocated jaw, lots of cuts and bruises, plus a nasty gash on her leg. As a result, she spent several months at the hospital, several more months getting rehabbed, time living with my mother, etc. It was nearly a year before she was well enough to come home. Even now, nearly 15 years later, she's still not 100%. Her shoulders are still painful at times, and it's difficult to walk. My cousin, who was with her in the accident, initially had some serious injuries--including the 'shredding' of his face by flying glass--is fine now.

Her insurance took care of the hospital bills, but not the rehabilitation facility costs. That care wasn't cheap, but, IMHO, worth it. That amount (which, IMHO was *well* worth it) was much more than her insurance. By then, it was dipshit's insurance company's turn to pay for not only that...but my cousin's injuries as well.

Of course, my family later sued the bastard...Grandma and my cousin no longer have to worry about money. Meaning, they've gotten on with their lives, and the accident is a distant memory

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah...we were with her constantly while she was laid up. Anything we could do to make her pain less. This was, the person who had taken care of everyone else for years. Only fair, in other words.

[PepperElf]

Does anyone know how much an ICU bed/room costs per day?

yeah... one of my x-boyfriends was in icu for a while (hit by a car) and as soon as they could, they moved him back home where his step mother was taking care of him. I think she had some training as a nurse's aid and she used that to take care of him.

for for the OP...
i guess the family figured 2K a day... or taking care of her themselves... apparently the price is worth paying. O_o

[BethB]

I love my mom dearly and would want to help her in any way I could, but if my bros, sisters and I acted the way this family is, she would muster all her strength to put us in a choke hold and tell us to leave her alone!!! She's scary that way.

I saw alot of near dying patients having their lives prolonged (even one family who overturned a Do not resusitate) just to get the benefits cuz once they die, oh no, no extra money coming in. That was all they cared about. Getting the money. Not even caring about the pain their family member is in. With the DNR patient, the family had one son banned because he wanted to grant his parent's wish and let him go. It was bad. One funny thing was this guy was a fighter. While taking his blood pressure he punched me in the head. but not very hard. he didn't have the strength in him but he was fiesty.

[Bella_Vixen]

When my mom's cousin was in a coma last August/September, there was a chance that he could have been moved to a hospice after they took him off life support.

There were several in the area, and his brother and sisters (and other various family members that were present at the time) were discussing which one would be best.

There was an excellent one in Milwaukee. Hell, *I* wanted to be sent there, and I'm in perfect health.

They said no. They wanted one in Waukesha, because that's where they all lived/worked. It would be more convenient.

How did he end up in a coma?

He passed out and was in a coma for something like 2 days before someone finally checked on him. He lived *and* worked in Waukesha.

[Amina516]

I went back in to the ICU today to prepare for my patient tomorrow and this same lady is STILL THERE!!!!!! She was supposed to be transferred on Monday.. Holy Hell. I think Im going to walk past the room numerous times tomorrow and stare at the family like they stared at me last week, all while not offering to help. LOL *kidding*

I feel bad for my classmate that has her....I'll guess I'll be nice and warn her. Lol.

[Dips]

Our son was in and out of the hospital quite bit from the time he was a baby until he died at the age of 10. We stayed with him as much as the staff would allow. Often sharing a double room with another patient and their family.

We did everything they would allow us to for him. Helping him walk, bringing him to the playroom, bathing him, changing his diapers, changing his his sheets, helping him eat, etc...

It wasn't like there was anything ELSE going on to keep us busy. Sitting around doing nothing for weeks on end would bore me to tears.

And yet I saw a lot of other parents who did just what the OP described. Sit around like bumps and STARE at staff, other patients, me, whoever. It's creepy and in the case of other patients, freaking rude. I always guessed they have the hospital confused with a luxury resort and figure they're above helping or something. It always puzzled me.