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Saturday's Sucktacular Sightings Soiree!
ugh. ugh ugh UGH!!! Had to run some errands this morning, and wanted to get everything done before noon. So I set out around 8 to do so. I DID get everything done by 11:15-ish, so good on me for keeping to my schedule, but sweet tequila christ, were the assholes, EWs and just plain stupids out in droves today!!
Sighting the First: At the Post Office
Had to mail some stuff to a friend, a box of books she had loaned me, plus a few surprises I had found for her. No big, and I got there before they opened, so I'm standing in line, patiently. when the office opens, I scoot over to where I think the line is, but immediately see the sign that says "Line forms here" along the counter where people can fill stuff out as they wait. Ok, no big, I set the box down and start waiting, while filling out a delivery confirmation form. Keep in mind, the time in which it took me to realize where the line was, was all of, oh...3 nanoseconds.
As I'm filling out the form, I look up and realize FOUR people had cut in front of me, even though I kept scooting up everytime there was movement. Grr! Unfortunately, that was the impetus for what happened next between me and the idiot twatpumpkin behind me (IT)
IT: <Whaps me in the shoulder. It wasn't a polite tap. The only reason I don't call it a punch is because it was open handed. Strike one. Never, EVER lay your fucking hands on me!!> Hey!
Me: Yes?
IT: You buying stamps!? I'm buying 3 books of stamps!
Me: <Looks pointedly at the box I'm holding> Um...no... (Now, at this point, I'd've let her in front of me, since it's a simple enough transaction, and I'm polite like that. But she totally killed her chances of any politeness from me with the physical force. Even then, I might have just shrugged it off and let her go, just to get her way from me, except for what she said next, sending it all in the tanker.)
IT: Then let me in front of you! I need stamps! And YOU CUT IN FRONT OF ME!
Me: Actually, THEY cut in front of ME, I didn't do anything.
IT: You were third in line!
Me: Yep, now I'm sixth. And your seventh.
IT: That's not my fault! YOU CUT IN FRONT OF ME!!
Me: Not my fault either.
IT: <Glares and moves to go past me, once she's at my side she SHOVES me into the counter to talk to the woman in front of me!! (WiF)>
IT: Are you buying stamps!?
WiF: No...
IT: Then let me in front of you since SHE <glares at me while she hisses the word> cut in front of me!!
Me: (At this point, I'm pissed. She shoved me hard enough, I jabbed my waist on the counter, and that isn't a pleasant feeling. I was quite literally two seconds away from exploding on the woman, until a nice lady (NL), whom I was originally standing in front of, cut in and gently and politely tapped my hand.)
NL: Would you like your place back in front of me? You'll be next.
Me: Sure! <Elbows my way around IT and takes the spot. I'm think that's it, we're done, oh happy day...>
IT: Should've done that in the first place, Stupid White Bitch!
that's it. I'm PISSED. But I don't scream. I don't yell, I don't even go back and land a punch on her ugly, stupid little face. No, I stand there, clutching my box, I turn back to face her...and I SMILE.
Now, as some of my friends can attest, this particular smile usually scares the crap outta everyone because I can be a mean bitch when I want to be, and I'm not stranger to fighting (and I usually win!). I've heard it described as my psychotic serial killer smile. (Thanks to my best friend for that lovely description...) I stand there and I give that woman my smile that says, "I'm planning just exactly how I'm going to eviscerate you and use your intestines as streamers. Do come over so you can take part in this venture."
IT takes 3 steps back. I don't even think she realizes she did. I'm called next, complete my transaction and am on my merry way to the next errand, thank gods. Kudos to NL for being polite and having proper compassion. To IT?? One day, you're going to lay your hands on the wrong person. Sad, but true. But you're damn luck. Usually, NO ONE puts their fucking hands on me and walks away in one piece. Just ask my sister.
Sighting the Second: In Target
Normally, I love to shop at target because it's great. Clean, well kept, nice staff. But apparently it wasn't my day. I'm standing in the dairy aisle trying to find my cheese sticks, (they were sold out, btw. SAD!!
) And this woman had two little boys, about 6 and 8 I think, with her as they came waltzing up to the yogurt section. Mom tells two boys to pick out their favorite flavor of Spongebob yogurt. Older boy grabs his and tosses it in the cart. Mom then WALKS AWAY while the younger boy is choosing a flavor. Seriously!! She wanders off down a different aisle and leaves him there, without saying a WORD!! Little boy turns around, clutching his yogurt and a panic stricken look crosses his face when mom is nowhere to be found!
I kneel down where I'm standing, about 3 feet away from him. (Can't get too close, lest I get accused of kidnapping or something, but get down to his level to get his attention) And I say, "Hey. She went that way, sweetie. Right down that row."
He starts to dart off and his mom, seeing me talking to him, comes barreling back and SCREAMS at me!
Stupid Mom!(SM): WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON?!!!?!?!?!?!
Me: Telling him where you were, since you walked away and had your back to him
SM: DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR MY KIDS!!!
Me: .........
Right about this point, a random employee comes by and she grabs his arm.
SM: SHE TRIED TO HURT MY SON!!!!!!!11!!!!!
RE: <Looks at me, where I'm still kneeling on the floor, as I get to my feet> Uh, miss? Is this true?
Me: Nope. Her son was at the yogurt, she walked away down that aisle and left him here. I told him which way she went.
RE: <Looks at SM> I really don't see what the problem is, ma'am. If she was trying to keep your son from being lost--
SM: <Cuts him off> SHE HAD HER HANDS ON MY BABY!!
Me: I NEVER touched him!!
By this point, her two boys, whom she had left in the aisle way on the other side come wandering up.
Little Boy: mama, she didn't touch me, she told me you went that way!
SM: ..... <not much she can say to that, is there? Especially, since the employee had just witnessed the fact that once again, she left her children alone in the store while she was in a different area...>
I don't say anything and just continue doing my shopping.
Sighting the Third: Also in Target
And also involving a parent. I'm wandering towards the meats. I see a woman with two young children, a boy and a girl. Now, said boy and girl are actually doing something intelligent. They're each on one side of the card, holding on to it while mom shops. I'm thinking to myself yay! A woman who keeps her kids with her so they don't get lost! How wonderful.
And then she opens her mouth and ruins it all...
Woman: Get your fucking hands off the cart! I ain't got time for you to be hanging all over it. Get off, and get your asses over here!! Walk behind me! I don't wanna see you doing that again!!
W. T. F!?!?!?
Whatever, I'm not even going to say a WORD!!
Sighting the Fourth: also in Target, but it's a funny one!
During this whole traumatic morning, I paused in the middle between shopping and hit the in-store starbucks for a pick-me-up. Gods know, I needed it. So, I wander over to the counter and wait patiently. I see a woman come over and grab one of the coffee carafes and say good morning.
Cast of characters:
Me:
Bakery Lady: BL
Deli Lady: DL
me: Good morning!
BL: Um, hi. Hang on one second, ma'am, let me get someone to help you!
Me: No rush. I can wait.
BL: <Goes to the deli/bakery area.> Hey! Where the starbucks girl at?
DL: <Comes around the corner> I don't know, she had to go check in some of her stock, I think.
BL: She needs a drink. Do you know how to make it? <To me> What would you like, ma'am?
Me: A skinny, decaf iced vanilla latte.
BL:
<To DL> Tell me you know how to make that?
DL: Um...
Me: <Proving that I've imbibed in far, far, FAR too many coffee shop beverages> It's actually made like this... <And I list the ingredients and how to make it.>
DL: <Goes to make the drink while BL tries to ring me up>
Me: Oh, that's simple, too! Go to coffee beverages. The Lattes, then click on vanilla, there should be an option for skinny. Oh, and I asked for one extra pump of syrup, so that's under extras and...
BL: <Stares at me>
Me:
....I'm in here a lot when I shop, and I chit chat with some of the other baristas. They talk out loud when they ring me up sometimes...
At this point, another customer comes over and requests another drink. Which I also know how to make. I tell the poor DL how to make that one, too!
DL: <Brings my drink over> Here, try this, this ok ma'am?
Me: <Sampling> Perfect! Thanks! The total should be. $X.xx, here...<Passes over a $5>
DL: Oh, no no no no!! You was so patient and helpful, don't worry about it. sorry we kept you waiting, but thanks for helping us out of a tough spot! Don't worry about it!
Me: Are you sure??
DL: Yes!
BL: You saved our butts!
Me: Er...ok... (So I got my drink for free! Sweet! And nice of them!!)
The other customer is laughing at this point, and thanks me too. She said she was going into caffeine withdrawals. And that I should maybe think of applying to work at a coffee place since I know so much!!
Final sighting: at the stoplight
I'm done shopping. I'm waiting to cross the street. I get the walk signal and start to haul my bags across when this idiot in a Lincoln comes barrelling up without slowing down, trying to make a right hand turn while I'm in the middle of the street! He screeches to a stop, then rolls down his window to scream at me!
Stupid driver (SD): Hey, some of us are driving here, bitch!!!
Me: You color blind?! What color is that light!!
SD: <Looks at the red light, then glares at me, and opens his mouth to say something>
Me: And you see that bright shiny white light that looks like a man walking?! That means I have the right of way!! ME. Not YOU!!
And then I SMILE at him, too.
funny how he rolled up his window after that...
I hate people... I think I may have sucked in some of the instances above, though, because I let my temper get the best of me. I hope not. I tried really, really hard to be calm and polite, but I'm not about to be walked over, either. Here's hoping I didn't suck as well, amidst all this suckage!!
The END!!
Sighting the First: At the Post Office
Had to mail some stuff to a friend, a box of books she had loaned me, plus a few surprises I had found for her. No big, and I got there before they opened, so I'm standing in line, patiently. when the office opens, I scoot over to where I think the line is, but immediately see the sign that says "Line forms here" along the counter where people can fill stuff out as they wait. Ok, no big, I set the box down and start waiting, while filling out a delivery confirmation form. Keep in mind, the time in which it took me to realize where the line was, was all of, oh...3 nanoseconds.
As I'm filling out the form, I look up and realize FOUR people had cut in front of me, even though I kept scooting up everytime there was movement. Grr! Unfortunately, that was the impetus for what happened next between me and the idiot twatpumpkin behind me (IT)
IT: <Whaps me in the shoulder. It wasn't a polite tap. The only reason I don't call it a punch is because it was open handed. Strike one. Never, EVER lay your fucking hands on me!!> Hey!
Me: Yes?
IT: You buying stamps!? I'm buying 3 books of stamps!
Me: <Looks pointedly at the box I'm holding> Um...no... (Now, at this point, I'd've let her in front of me, since it's a simple enough transaction, and I'm polite like that. But she totally killed her chances of any politeness from me with the physical force. Even then, I might have just shrugged it off and let her go, just to get her way from me, except for what she said next, sending it all in the tanker.)
IT: Then let me in front of you! I need stamps! And YOU CUT IN FRONT OF ME!
Me: Actually, THEY cut in front of ME, I didn't do anything.
IT: You were third in line!
Me: Yep, now I'm sixth. And your seventh.
IT: That's not my fault! YOU CUT IN FRONT OF ME!!
Me: Not my fault either.
IT: <Glares and moves to go past me, once she's at my side she SHOVES me into the counter to talk to the woman in front of me!! (WiF)>
IT: Are you buying stamps!?
WiF: No...
IT: Then let me in front of you since SHE <glares at me while she hisses the word> cut in front of me!!
Me: (At this point, I'm pissed. She shoved me hard enough, I jabbed my waist on the counter, and that isn't a pleasant feeling. I was quite literally two seconds away from exploding on the woman, until a nice lady (NL), whom I was originally standing in front of, cut in and gently and politely tapped my hand.)
NL: Would you like your place back in front of me? You'll be next.
Me: Sure! <Elbows my way around IT and takes the spot. I'm think that's it, we're done, oh happy day...>
IT: Should've done that in the first place, Stupid White Bitch!
that's it. I'm PISSED. But I don't scream. I don't yell, I don't even go back and land a punch on her ugly, stupid little face. No, I stand there, clutching my box, I turn back to face her...and I SMILE.
Now, as some of my friends can attest, this particular smile usually scares the crap outta everyone because I can be a mean bitch when I want to be, and I'm not stranger to fighting (and I usually win!). I've heard it described as my psychotic serial killer smile. (Thanks to my best friend for that lovely description...) I stand there and I give that woman my smile that says, "I'm planning just exactly how I'm going to eviscerate you and use your intestines as streamers. Do come over so you can take part in this venture."
IT takes 3 steps back. I don't even think she realizes she did. I'm called next, complete my transaction and am on my merry way to the next errand, thank gods. Kudos to NL for being polite and having proper compassion. To IT?? One day, you're going to lay your hands on the wrong person. Sad, but true. But you're damn luck. Usually, NO ONE puts their fucking hands on me and walks away in one piece. Just ask my sister.
Sighting the Second: In Target
Normally, I love to shop at target because it's great. Clean, well kept, nice staff. But apparently it wasn't my day. I'm standing in the dairy aisle trying to find my cheese sticks, (they were sold out, btw. SAD!!
) And this woman had two little boys, about 6 and 8 I think, with her as they came waltzing up to the yogurt section. Mom tells two boys to pick out their favorite flavor of Spongebob yogurt. Older boy grabs his and tosses it in the cart. Mom then WALKS AWAY while the younger boy is choosing a flavor. Seriously!! She wanders off down a different aisle and leaves him there, without saying a WORD!! Little boy turns around, clutching his yogurt and a panic stricken look crosses his face when mom is nowhere to be found!I kneel down where I'm standing, about 3 feet away from him. (Can't get too close, lest I get accused of kidnapping or something, but get down to his level to get his attention) And I say, "Hey. She went that way, sweetie. Right down that row."
He starts to dart off and his mom, seeing me talking to him, comes barreling back and SCREAMS at me!
Stupid Mom!(SM): WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON?!!!?!?!?!?!
Me: Telling him where you were, since you walked away and had your back to him
SM: DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR MY KIDS!!!
Me: .........
Right about this point, a random employee comes by and she grabs his arm.
SM: SHE TRIED TO HURT MY SON!!!!!!!11!!!!!
RE: <Looks at me, where I'm still kneeling on the floor, as I get to my feet> Uh, miss? Is this true?
Me: Nope. Her son was at the yogurt, she walked away down that aisle and left him here. I told him which way she went.
RE: <Looks at SM> I really don't see what the problem is, ma'am. If she was trying to keep your son from being lost--
SM: <Cuts him off> SHE HAD HER HANDS ON MY BABY!!
Me: I NEVER touched him!!
By this point, her two boys, whom she had left in the aisle way on the other side come wandering up.
Little Boy: mama, she didn't touch me, she told me you went that way!
SM: ..... <not much she can say to that, is there? Especially, since the employee had just witnessed the fact that once again, she left her children alone in the store while she was in a different area...>
I don't say anything and just continue doing my shopping.
Sighting the Third: Also in Target
And also involving a parent. I'm wandering towards the meats. I see a woman with two young children, a boy and a girl. Now, said boy and girl are actually doing something intelligent. They're each on one side of the card, holding on to it while mom shops. I'm thinking to myself yay! A woman who keeps her kids with her so they don't get lost! How wonderful.
And then she opens her mouth and ruins it all...
Woman: Get your fucking hands off the cart! I ain't got time for you to be hanging all over it. Get off, and get your asses over here!! Walk behind me! I don't wanna see you doing that again!!
W. T. F!?!?!? Whatever, I'm not even going to say a WORD!!
Sighting the Fourth: also in Target, but it's a funny one!
During this whole traumatic morning, I paused in the middle between shopping and hit the in-store starbucks for a pick-me-up. Gods know, I needed it. So, I wander over to the counter and wait patiently. I see a woman come over and grab one of the coffee carafes and say good morning.
Cast of characters:
Me:
Bakery Lady: BL
Deli Lady: DL
me: Good morning!
BL: Um, hi. Hang on one second, ma'am, let me get someone to help you!
Me: No rush. I can wait.
BL: <Goes to the deli/bakery area.> Hey! Where the starbucks girl at?
DL: <Comes around the corner> I don't know, she had to go check in some of her stock, I think.
BL: She needs a drink. Do you know how to make it? <To me> What would you like, ma'am?
Me: A skinny, decaf iced vanilla latte.
BL:
<To DL> Tell me you know how to make that?DL:
Um...Me: <Proving that I've imbibed in far, far, FAR too many coffee shop beverages> It's actually made like this... <And I list the ingredients and how to make it.>
DL: <Goes to make the drink while BL tries to ring me up>
Me: Oh, that's simple, too! Go to coffee beverages. The Lattes, then click on vanilla, there should be an option for skinny. Oh, and I asked for one extra pump of syrup, so that's under extras and...
BL: <Stares at me>
Me:
....I'm in here a lot when I shop, and I chit chat with some of the other baristas. They talk out loud when they ring me up sometimes...At this point, another customer comes over and requests another drink. Which I also know how to make. I tell the poor DL how to make that one, too!
DL: <Brings my drink over> Here, try this, this ok ma'am?
Me: <Sampling> Perfect! Thanks! The total should be. $X.xx, here...<Passes over a $5>
DL: Oh, no no no no!! You was so patient and helpful, don't worry about it. sorry we kept you waiting, but thanks for helping us out of a tough spot! Don't worry about it!
Me: Are you sure??
DL: Yes!
BL: You saved our butts!
Me: Er...ok... (So I got my drink for free! Sweet! And nice of them!!)
The other customer is laughing at this point, and thanks me too. She said she was going into caffeine withdrawals. And that I should maybe think of applying to work at a coffee place since I know so much!!
Final sighting: at the stoplight
I'm done shopping. I'm waiting to cross the street. I get the walk signal and start to haul my bags across when this idiot in a Lincoln comes barrelling up without slowing down, trying to make a right hand turn while I'm in the middle of the street! He screeches to a stop, then rolls down his window to scream at me!
Stupid driver (SD): Hey, some of us are driving here, bitch!!!
Me: You color blind?! What color is that light!!
SD: <Looks at the red light, then glares at me, and opens his mouth to say something>
Me: And you see that bright shiny white light that looks like a man walking?! That means I have the right of way!! ME. Not YOU!!
And then I SMILE at him, too.
funny how he rolled up his window after that...
I hate people... I think I may have sucked in some of the instances above, though, because I let my temper get the best of me. I hope not. I tried really, really hard to be calm and polite, but I'm not about to be walked over, either. Here's hoping I didn't suck as well, amidst all this suckage!!
The END!!
And they try to be as nasty as possible about it "to make a point".
Yeah that would be nice.
i've screamed at my hubby for talking to the boy like that. Just... GRRR!!! If you don't have patience for kids, don't have any!!! ahem....sorry, I'm done.
My mum used to let me help her while shopping and bribed me with Milky Way Goodness.
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