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You did NOT...
Dear fellow library wi-fi room patron,
...Although I have my headphones on and appear to be one of the younger crowd, please let's not assume (a) I am listening to my music at an intolerable volume, (b) I am listening to anything at all, or (c) that, in either case, I can't hear you.
Let's also not assume that headphones not only impede my hearing but my sense of SMELL.
If you have to break wind THAT badly, there's a restroom FIVE FEET AWAY.
Gagging,
Me
Restaurant Suck
SC was leaning on the counter by the register and, thanks to his girth (muscular-type), was blocking any access to the order-and-pay area. My husband and I waited patiently until his not-so-oblivious friend tapped him and motioned him out of the way. He moved three inches to the right.
He then proceeded to interrupt our order byt telling the staff he needed his food prepared X-way not the normal Y way, as it was being HANDED to him, fully wrapped and ready to go.
As we were sitting to eat, Mr. Wonderful then proceeded to hold a conversation with a buddy across the restuarant at decibel levels that left my ears ringing for an hour.
The Epic Bus Battle or, I was Molested by a Cane
I've been wanting to share this since it happened, but haven't had time to jot down the epic fail of it all.
Here in Naples, there is some kind of unwritten rule where old people are generally supposed to be granted special privledges (such as going ahead in line or, in this case, to be given a seat on the bus). While this develops some of the worst SCs ever, I think it's a generally nice custom, especially for the older women (the men here seem to stay tough forEVER).
In any case, the bus was crowded when I got on. Every seat was taken up by old women (except for some jerkoff who thought 20 was old enough) and everyone else was packed in like sardines.
The players:
Crazy Old Bat
Old Cane Lady
Another Old Woman
African Woman (Distinction: From Africa, not African-American. I specify her by nationality because there's a lot of racism here, and the part she features in was racially motivated.)
Enter Old Cane Lady and Crazy Old Bat. Remember, I'm translating this from Italian, so it's not exact.
COB: *to Cane Lady and at the top of her freaking lungs* Stop looking at me! I was here first! I'm old!
OCL: *Completely confused* I wasn't looking at you...!
COB: I'm old! I earned this seat! I've been on my feet all day! (Further rantings as other people jump in and say no one was trying to take the seat from her, calm down, etc.)
OCL: *After some cane-waving which I thought would kill me, and a few exchanged insults, moves away from COB and towards the driver, wisely*
A minute later, COB starts in with another Old Woman (OW).
COB: I had this seat first!!! Don't look at me!
OW: *is just as crazy as COB; it's apparently contagious* I'm not looking at you!
This shouting match continues in the same vein for a good ten minutes, until COB disembarks, with people cheering her on her way.
OW: *has now caught the crazy, says this to an African Woman* Don't touch me! I'll scream if you touch me!
AW: No one touched you, old woman.
OW: Just stay away from me!!! I don't want you people touching me!!
AW: Old woman, you need to be careful who you talk to. I may be just as crazy as you! ((This sounded hilarious in Italian. The way she said it was just awesome and full of win.))
OW flips the f*** out and gets off at the next stop. People pat AW on the back.
To put a cherry on this whole scene, Cane Lady returns from the front of the bus to take COB's seat. Does she offer a polite, "Scusi" to get past me? Heck no. She rams her cane UP MY ARSE. (Okay, it wasn't that hard, but it freaked me out!)
Most likely more to come. -.-
Dear fellow library wi-fi room patron,
...Although I have my headphones on and appear to be one of the younger crowd, please let's not assume (a) I am listening to my music at an intolerable volume, (b) I am listening to anything at all, or (c) that, in either case, I can't hear you.
Let's also not assume that headphones not only impede my hearing but my sense of SMELL.
If you have to break wind THAT badly, there's a restroom FIVE FEET AWAY.
Gagging,
Me
Restaurant Suck
SC was leaning on the counter by the register and, thanks to his girth (muscular-type), was blocking any access to the order-and-pay area. My husband and I waited patiently until his not-so-oblivious friend tapped him and motioned him out of the way. He moved three inches to the right.
He then proceeded to interrupt our order byt telling the staff he needed his food prepared X-way not the normal Y way, as it was being HANDED to him, fully wrapped and ready to go.
As we were sitting to eat, Mr. Wonderful then proceeded to hold a conversation with a buddy across the restuarant at decibel levels that left my ears ringing for an hour.
The Epic Bus Battle or, I was Molested by a Cane
I've been wanting to share this since it happened, but haven't had time to jot down the epic fail of it all.
Here in Naples, there is some kind of unwritten rule where old people are generally supposed to be granted special privledges (such as going ahead in line or, in this case, to be given a seat on the bus). While this develops some of the worst SCs ever, I think it's a generally nice custom, especially for the older women (the men here seem to stay tough forEVER).
In any case, the bus was crowded when I got on. Every seat was taken up by old women (except for some jerkoff who thought 20 was old enough) and everyone else was packed in like sardines.
The players:
Crazy Old Bat
Old Cane Lady
Another Old Woman
African Woman (Distinction: From Africa, not African-American. I specify her by nationality because there's a lot of racism here, and the part she features in was racially motivated.)
Enter Old Cane Lady and Crazy Old Bat. Remember, I'm translating this from Italian, so it's not exact.
COB: *to Cane Lady and at the top of her freaking lungs* Stop looking at me! I was here first! I'm old!
OCL: *Completely confused* I wasn't looking at you...!
COB: I'm old! I earned this seat! I've been on my feet all day! (Further rantings as other people jump in and say no one was trying to take the seat from her, calm down, etc.)
OCL: *After some cane-waving which I thought would kill me, and a few exchanged insults, moves away from COB and towards the driver, wisely*
A minute later, COB starts in with another Old Woman (OW).
COB: I had this seat first!!! Don't look at me!
OW: *is just as crazy as COB; it's apparently contagious* I'm not looking at you!
This shouting match continues in the same vein for a good ten minutes, until COB disembarks, with people cheering her on her way.
OW: *has now caught the crazy, says this to an African Woman* Don't touch me! I'll scream if you touch me!
AW: No one touched you, old woman.
OW: Just stay away from me!!! I don't want you people touching me!!
AW: Old woman, you need to be careful who you talk to. I may be just as crazy as you! ((This sounded hilarious in Italian. The way she said it was just awesome and full of win.))
OW flips the f*** out and gets off at the next stop. People pat AW on the back.
To put a cherry on this whole scene, Cane Lady returns from the front of the bus to take COB's seat. Does she offer a polite, "Scusi" to get past me? Heck no. She rams her cane UP MY ARSE. (Okay, it wasn't that hard, but it freaked me out!)
Most likely more to come. -.-
Is it anything like the videos that I've seen of the driving in Rome? That just looks like complete chaos.
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