Tweet
Sighting: I shoulda seen it coming. For that matter, I shoulda shut up.
I'm in the grocery store - it's early, 11am, far too early to be cranky. I'm getting something sliced at the deli counter. Earbuds in my ears, listening to "Titanic, the Musical" at top volume and trying not to shed a little tear now and then.
Up comes a skinny lady who radiates "uptight," and I should have recognized it ... 50's, ugly gray tight scrawny pigtail braids, organic junk in her basket, sour look on her face ... it all adds up to "aging hippie who didn't get a clue and give it up in the sixties."
She wants to know where the turkey burgers are. Counter person (currently helping me, but what does it hurt to point down the aisle?) tells her they're down in the meat department. That doesn't seem to be at all satisfactory, judging by the look on her face. I smile and tell her they're in among the turkey products, right next to the ground turkey. Off she goes.
A few minutes later I'm in the self-checkout, and she's in the next self-checkout lane talking to a bagger ... I dunno what about, the Titanic's sinking and it's all I can do not to bust out crying (in a nice way). Like I said, I shoulda ducked, but noooo... I had to pull out an earbud and ask "did you find your burgers?" She glares at me and mutters a clipped "yes sir," then turns back to the bagger ... "I'll get 'em somewhere else, you haven't been helpful at all" and (you knew this was coming) "where's the manager's office?"
I put the earbud back in (hey, a sinking Titanic is a lot more pleasant than a bitter old hippie with personal issues), and note that if she takes more than two steps out of the lane without turning she'll run smack into the manager's office. While I finish checking out, the same bagger is trying to smile and bagging my stuff (a rarity on the self-checkout lanes), and I wish I'd said "Lady, I know I can smile just a little and be just a teensy bit humble and have people fall all over themselves helping me ... you never learned that?"
I'm reminded of the (was it a Bill Hicks routine?) bit about a pushy and annoying homeless guy berating him for not coughing up a buck cause nobody will give him a job ... "IT COULDN'T BE MAYBE SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY, COULD IT?""
I'm in the grocery store - it's early, 11am, far too early to be cranky. I'm getting something sliced at the deli counter. Earbuds in my ears, listening to "Titanic, the Musical" at top volume and trying not to shed a little tear now and then.
Up comes a skinny lady who radiates "uptight," and I should have recognized it ... 50's, ugly gray tight scrawny pigtail braids, organic junk in her basket, sour look on her face ... it all adds up to "aging hippie who didn't get a clue and give it up in the sixties."
She wants to know where the turkey burgers are. Counter person (currently helping me, but what does it hurt to point down the aisle?) tells her they're down in the meat department. That doesn't seem to be at all satisfactory, judging by the look on her face. I smile and tell her they're in among the turkey products, right next to the ground turkey. Off she goes.
A few minutes later I'm in the self-checkout, and she's in the next self-checkout lane talking to a bagger ... I dunno what about, the Titanic's sinking and it's all I can do not to bust out crying (in a nice way). Like I said, I shoulda ducked, but noooo... I had to pull out an earbud and ask "did you find your burgers?" She glares at me and mutters a clipped "yes sir," then turns back to the bagger ... "I'll get 'em somewhere else, you haven't been helpful at all" and (you knew this was coming) "where's the manager's office?"
I put the earbud back in (hey, a sinking Titanic is a lot more pleasant than a bitter old hippie with personal issues), and note that if she takes more than two steps out of the lane without turning she'll run smack into the manager's office. While I finish checking out, the same bagger is trying to smile and bagging my stuff (a rarity on the self-checkout lanes), and I wish I'd said "Lady, I know I can smile just a little and be just a teensy bit humble and have people fall all over themselves helping me ... you never learned that?"
I'm reminded of the (was it a Bill Hicks routine?) bit about a pushy and annoying homeless guy berating him for not coughing up a buck cause nobody will give him a job ... "IT COULDN'T BE MAYBE SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY, COULD IT?""