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So sorry my being fat annoys/amuses/offends you somehow...
Second time in a week.
I went to the local grocery store via bus, and when I got there I really needed the bathroom. Bus rides are torture on a bladder sometimes.
I get there, and make a beeline for the bathroom. It's a small one, only 2 stalls, one "regular" and one large one for handicapped use/baby changing table, etc. When I get there the normal stall is in use, so I use the large one, since there isn't a line. While I'm, ahem, doing my business, whoever was in the other stall finished and left.
I hear the bathroom door open again, and another woman comes in and goes into the free stall. She sits, and I hear her start muttering and then some random banging, and more muttering. Whatever, not my business. I finish, and exit to start washing my hands. As I'm at the sink, the other woman finishes and comes out to the sink next to me. She looks at me, I smile and nod politely, and then she drops this little gem:
Her: That has to be the tightest stall I've ever been in! No wonder you stole the big one, you wouldn't have a chance in the other!
Me:
(I'm quite literally struck speechless, and my brain tries to recompute, as I MUST have heard wrong!!)
Her: <she keeps muttering about the tightness of the stall, and then says> I don't even think port-a-john's are that small! Still, god help you if you end up stuck in one of those!
She left after that, before my brain could start working again to formulate a response. If I am wearing this invisible sign I can't see, I really wish someone would just take it off.
Um...I don't think you quite grasp the concept of price per pound
Salmon was on sale at this particular store for what I thought was a decent price, so I went to get a few pounds. The guys at this seafood counter are really sweet, and will cut the fish into portions for me, or skin it as I request it, and always have fun conversations with me. (We like to trade recipes...)
Anyways, I'm standing there, waiting for my salmon, and this assmonkey comes up next to me, looking at the fish. I step to the side, since I'm just waiting on my fish and am done ordering. I should note that the store also had catfish, and shrimp, you know the usual seafood offerings. Well, they also had whole catfish, priced at something like $7.99 per pound. (Might be more or less, wasn't really paying attention, but that's the number we'll go with for the purpose of this tale)
This guy wants a whole catfish, and points to a very specific fish, a rather large one at that. Seriously, he had the poor guy going eeny meeny miney mo with the fishies, until he hit the one that was just right. The other fishmonger pulls the fish, sticks it on the scale to print the tag, wraps it, etc, etc. He hands it over, assmonkey looks at the tag and proceeds to throw a fit!
AM: (Assmonkey) What the hell is this? $44?!?!? Why the hell are you charging me $44!!!
FM: (fishmonger) Er...because it's a 6+ lb fish...?
AM: But they're $7.99. You're CHEATING ME!!
FM: ...sir, the catfish is $7.99 per pound
AM: LIAR! I want your manager! This is false advertisement! Bait and switch! (At this point, I snorted because I found that phrase all too amusing at a fish counter. Bait...? ha...ha...oh, hell it was funny to ME!)
FM: I AM the manager here, sir, and the signs in the display clearly say $7.99 per pound.
AM: Then I want to see the manager above you! This fish is only $8! That's all I'm paying.
FM: I'm the one who makes the decisions at this counter. You'll pay the price on the tag, or you won't get the fish.
AM: FUCK you!! <snarlsnarlrantrant I stopped paying attention to his blathering, he was turning a really interesting shade of purple while he was screaming>
FM: <Puts the fish behind his counter> Right, well, you think about it and then let me know, I'll keep it on ice back here until you make up your mind. Can I help you ma'am? <Said to the next customer, completely ignoring The Assmonkey, who seems to get disheartened that no one's paying attention to him anymore and stomps off, swearing up and down they're getting reported to...I don't know, some organization, he said a bunch of letters.>
Thankfully, my fish was ready, so I snagged it and continued shopping.
"Sale" =/= "Best Bargain EVAR"
My mom and grandma taught me how to comparison shop, and check unit price when not provided, to make sure I'm getting the best deal. With as poor as I am, I'm going to take that to new levels on the essentials, so I can get the most for my money.
Well, I'm in the bread aisle, and there are 2 brands of bread I like. Brand A is on sale for $2.79/loaf, brand B is regularly priced at $3.29. I'm plugging in the math to check and see if the sale price is actually worth it when this elderly couple shoves their way through, and start bitching to each other something about how kids today are always texting, blah blah blah. (I was using the calculator on my cell phone, btw.) They snag a loaf of Brand A, bread, I grab a loaf of Brand B, and crotchety old woman then starts conversing with crotchety old man what an idiot I must be, as well.
COW: And look at that! First she takes up the aisle texting, and now she's grabbing the most expensive bread she can find. Must be nice to be sssooooooooo rich.
COM: Kids today have no idea how to sale shop.
Me: <A little annoyed at this point> Actually, not that it's any of your business, I was checking the unit price to see which was a better bargain, like my mother and grandmother taught me.
COW: Ha! waste of time when there are signs saying this brand is on sale!
COM: Obviously you weren't taught to respect your elders!
Me: <smiles sweetly> Actually, that brand is 15.8 cents an ounce, while this brand, being more expensive is only 8.6 cents an ounce because it's a bigger loaf, so technically, I'm getting the better bargain. Why, I'll even bet that were we to spend the same amount of money, I'd probably end up with more stuff, and better quality because I'm smart enough to realize a big shiny sign that says SALE doesn't always mean it's the best deal. <And I walk off before they can say anything>
And once again, my weight comes into play... >.<
By this point, I'm done shopping and I'm at the self-checkout, since I only have a few items. This woman comes up with a cart filled to overflowing with groceries behind me. I ignore it and continue my transaction until...
<WHAM>
She rams my butt with her cart because she's on her cell phone blathering and not watching where she's going!
Me: <lets out a startled yelp>
Her: <Pulls the phone away from her ear long enough to glance at me, and see her cart embedded in my ass. She pulls it away> Sorry. Didn't realize you were taking up that much room. You're bigger than you look. <And she goes back to her phone conversation.>
Me:
<I finish, grab my receipt and bags and step away. She pulls forward, and I stand there waiting until she notices me, then I flip her the bird and walk away.>
Probably not too mature of me, and more than a little sucky, too, but it's better than my blowing a gasket and yelling at her, isn't it? Isn't it...?
I sowies.
Whyfor does life hate me so much right noooooow...?
</whining>
Second time in a week.
I went to the local grocery store via bus, and when I got there I really needed the bathroom. Bus rides are torture on a bladder sometimes.
I get there, and make a beeline for the bathroom. It's a small one, only 2 stalls, one "regular" and one large one for handicapped use/baby changing table, etc. When I get there the normal stall is in use, so I use the large one, since there isn't a line. While I'm, ahem, doing my business, whoever was in the other stall finished and left.
I hear the bathroom door open again, and another woman comes in and goes into the free stall. She sits, and I hear her start muttering and then some random banging, and more muttering. Whatever, not my business. I finish, and exit to start washing my hands. As I'm at the sink, the other woman finishes and comes out to the sink next to me. She looks at me, I smile and nod politely, and then she drops this little gem:
Her: That has to be the tightest stall I've ever been in! No wonder you stole the big one, you wouldn't have a chance in the other!
Me:
(I'm quite literally struck speechless, and my brain tries to recompute, as I MUST have heard wrong!!)Her: <she keeps muttering about the tightness of the stall, and then says> I don't even think port-a-john's are that small! Still, god help you if you end up stuck in one of those!
She left after that, before my brain could start working again to formulate a response. If I am wearing this invisible sign I can't see, I really wish someone would just take it off.
Um...I don't think you quite grasp the concept of price per pound
Salmon was on sale at this particular store for what I thought was a decent price, so I went to get a few pounds. The guys at this seafood counter are really sweet, and will cut the fish into portions for me, or skin it as I request it, and always have fun conversations with me. (We like to trade recipes...)
Anyways, I'm standing there, waiting for my salmon, and this assmonkey comes up next to me, looking at the fish. I step to the side, since I'm just waiting on my fish and am done ordering. I should note that the store also had catfish, and shrimp, you know the usual seafood offerings. Well, they also had whole catfish, priced at something like $7.99 per pound. (Might be more or less, wasn't really paying attention, but that's the number we'll go with for the purpose of this tale)
This guy wants a whole catfish, and points to a very specific fish, a rather large one at that. Seriously, he had the poor guy going eeny meeny miney mo with the fishies, until he hit the one that was just right. The other fishmonger pulls the fish, sticks it on the scale to print the tag, wraps it, etc, etc. He hands it over, assmonkey looks at the tag and proceeds to throw a fit!
AM: (Assmonkey) What the hell is this? $44?!?!? Why the hell are you charging me $44!!!
FM: (fishmonger) Er...because it's a 6+ lb fish...?
AM: But they're $7.99. You're CHEATING ME!!
FM: ...sir, the catfish is $7.99 per pound
AM: LIAR! I want your manager! This is false advertisement! Bait and switch! (At this point, I snorted because I found that phrase all too amusing at a fish counter. Bait...? ha...ha...oh, hell it was funny to ME!)
FM: I AM the manager here, sir, and the signs in the display clearly say $7.99 per pound.
AM: Then I want to see the manager above you! This fish is only $8! That's all I'm paying.
FM: I'm the one who makes the decisions at this counter. You'll pay the price on the tag, or you won't get the fish.
AM: FUCK you!! <snarlsnarlrantrant I stopped paying attention to his blathering, he was turning a really interesting shade of purple while he was screaming>
FM: <Puts the fish behind his counter> Right, well, you think about it and then let me know, I'll keep it on ice back here until you make up your mind. Can I help you ma'am? <Said to the next customer, completely ignoring The Assmonkey, who seems to get disheartened that no one's paying attention to him anymore and stomps off, swearing up and down they're getting reported to...I don't know, some organization, he said a bunch of letters.>
Thankfully, my fish was ready, so I snagged it and continued shopping.
"Sale" =/= "Best Bargain EVAR"
My mom and grandma taught me how to comparison shop, and check unit price when not provided, to make sure I'm getting the best deal. With as poor as I am, I'm going to take that to new levels on the essentials, so I can get the most for my money.
Well, I'm in the bread aisle, and there are 2 brands of bread I like. Brand A is on sale for $2.79/loaf, brand B is regularly priced at $3.29. I'm plugging in the math to check and see if the sale price is actually worth it when this elderly couple shoves their way through, and start bitching to each other something about how kids today are always texting, blah blah blah. (I was using the calculator on my cell phone, btw.) They snag a loaf of Brand A, bread, I grab a loaf of Brand B, and crotchety old woman then starts conversing with crotchety old man what an idiot I must be, as well.
COW: And look at that! First she takes up the aisle texting, and now she's grabbing the most expensive bread she can find. Must be nice to be sssooooooooo rich.
COM: Kids today have no idea how to sale shop.
Me: <A little annoyed at this point> Actually, not that it's any of your business, I was checking the unit price to see which was a better bargain, like my mother and grandmother taught me.
COW: Ha! waste of time when there are signs saying this brand is on sale!
COM: Obviously you weren't taught to respect your elders!
Me: <smiles sweetly> Actually, that brand is 15.8 cents an ounce, while this brand, being more expensive is only 8.6 cents an ounce because it's a bigger loaf, so technically, I'm getting the better bargain. Why, I'll even bet that were we to spend the same amount of money, I'd probably end up with more stuff, and better quality because I'm smart enough to realize a big shiny sign that says SALE doesn't always mean it's the best deal. <And I walk off before they can say anything>
And once again, my weight comes into play... >.<
By this point, I'm done shopping and I'm at the self-checkout, since I only have a few items. This woman comes up with a cart filled to overflowing with groceries behind me. I ignore it and continue my transaction until...
<WHAM>
She rams my butt with her cart because she's on her cell phone blathering and not watching where she's going!
Me: <lets out a startled yelp>
Her: <Pulls the phone away from her ear long enough to glance at me, and see her cart embedded in my ass. She pulls it away> Sorry. Didn't realize you were taking up that much room. You're bigger than you look. <And she goes back to her phone conversation.>
Me:
<I finish, grab my receipt and bags and step away. She pulls forward, and I stand there waiting until she notices me, then I flip her the bird and walk away.>Probably not too mature of me, and more than a little sucky, too, but it's better than my blowing a gasket and yelling at her, isn't it? Isn't it...?
I sowies.
Whyfor does life hate me so much right noooooow...?
</whining>
here's your fish?
Really helpful to know that.
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