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OK, so don't get me wrong, I had a blast this weekend, I think it may have been one of the best experiences I've ever had (for oh so many reasons, those of you who already know all the details know what I'm talking about, the rest will just have to use your imaginations 
)
Anyway, this weekend I made the pilgrimage to the San Francisco Pride Festival (have I mentioned just how amazing that was yet, because honestly, it never gets old).
Of course, no vacation is without it's hiccups.
First sighting... NDOT stupidity. It would be greatly appreciated oh wise ones if you let us know before the exit that we need to use that the exit we need to use is closed, rather than making us go up to the next exit, turn around, and go back to two exits back, turn around again just to be able to use the exit before the one that I needed... yeah, smiley was not all too thrilled about that.
Second sighting... why I can never live in a city with less than a million ever again. While stopping for lunch in Winnemucca I hear this gem, "thank God for Pride weekend... that means all the fags will be out of town this weekend"... yeah... and we stop by your hellhole of a town to buy food too, so might not want to be too loud, next time I can always stop in either battle mountain or lovelock... oh wait, you'd probably like that, but then bitch that you don't have my money
Third sighting... screwing with the homophobic desk clerk. Now I do feel slightly bad about this, but honestly this guy brought it on himself. I met up with a friend in San Fran before checking into my hotel, he offered to come along to help me unpack and well, let's be honest, we're all adults here, we know exactly what that means
ahem, anyway...
Me- checking in, last name Eagle
clerk- ok, queen size non smoking correct.
Me- yes sir, queen size non smoking
clerk- are you sure (ok, dude
)
Me- yeah, I'm sure.
clerk- (looking at my friend) well we do have rooms with two doubles in non smoking available. (doubly ... did you not just hear me say that yes, I want a room with one fusking queen size bed)
me- look, I just want one queen non smoking.
clerk- well where is he going to sleep.
me- ...on the bed.
clerk- and where are you going to sleep (dude, this is way outside of your job description)
me- umm... on the bed.
clerk- so... you're both sleeping in one queen size bed? (dude, drop it... the gloves are off)
me- well, I highly doubt much sleep is going to occur tonight
clerk-
me- now, can you just give me the keys to my room... I know (hotel group's) discrimination policy and you have already crossed the line and violated it, but right now I don't want to deal with a complaint with corporate, especially since it will get back to my manager (I was on an employee discount voucher), and while he is OK with my sexuality, he doesn't need to know who I'm with during my vacation time... corporate policy is that any customer must be checked in as long as they are not going to be using the rooms for an illegal purpose and they are able to pay for it... last I checked being part of a gay relationship is not illegal in this state and I have the money, so give me the keys.
clerk- (under his breath) why can't you just keep this shit in your own room.
me- for the next 72 hours as long as I pay for the room, that is my own room.
clerk- (hands me key and closes window quickly)
seriously, what a douche... I know this was in East Bay and not in San Fran itself, but still... if you have issues with homosexuals, you really need to consider relocating... Utah will be more than happy to accept you as you are.
Fourth sighting... BART part 1. While I will say, BART is an amazing system compared to UTA... like I am almost willing to move to San Fran just for BART (well, so many other reasons, but still). That said, there are some characters on there. On saturday throughout the day I saw pretty much every character from GK's posts, I even had to evade a loach I'll be honest though, I enjoyed ever minute of it... quite a break from hearing the homophobic, racist, and otherwise bigoted rants I'm so used to hearing on UTA.
Firth sighting... not really a sighting, more of a culture shock. HOLY CRAP WHY DIDN'T ANYONE WARN ME ABOUT THE CASTRO DISTRICT. OMG, I didn't know whether to be terrified, filled with joy, or arroused... I think what I ended up feeling was some weird combination of all three at the same time. Self sighting though... I did walk into a pole because I was too busy ogling a gorgous guy wearing nothing but short shorts
Sixth sighting... seriously, why do you live in San Fran. This must be desk clerk's brother... on the BART into the Pride festival sunday morning I heard this guy complaining about having to be surrounded by fags (umm, hello, you are on a train that is running straight into downtown san fran, what did you expect). I did however notice a lesbian couple that was close to him that went from just holding hands to full out make-out for his benefit... while normally I would not condone such blatant public displays, I think this time it was warranted
Seventh sighting... yes, I know what stores there are where I live. OK, I love CVS/Longs, great store... however, there aren't any in Utah. So please Mr. Long's cashier, you're cute, you seem like a nice guy, but would you stop trying to get me to sign up for the extra care card... I told you there is no CVS/Longs where I live, yes I told you I was sure there wasn't one, yup, I've checked, yup, I am sure, yup, I know that it could open someday, when it does I'll get the card... until then, just take my money and let me get on with my life... as it happens though, that was when I bought the aloe vera that I ended up having an allergic reaction to... now my forehead looks a bit like a Star Trek alien's
Eigth sighting... not really a sighting, but still funny as hell. A group of us went out to breakfast monday morning before I left. One of the newer couples with us had the following conversation.
guy1- (notices his date is eating with his right hand) I didn't realize you were right handed.
guy2- yeah, I am.
guy1- (kinda loudly) well you weren't right handed last night.
(awkward silence falls over the entire restaurant)
guy2-
me- could you say that a little bit louder... I'm not sure my roommates heard that BACK IN UTAH.
Ninth sighting... back in Salt Lake. As before has been mentioned, I know, I look like a
Star Trek alien right now... please don't point and stare though... I'm self concious about it enough as it is without you being a dick about it... kthanxbye.
wow, that was longer than I thought. Still, despite all the problems, the money it cost, the miles on my car, the goodwill spent with my boss, the wrath of my mother when she finds out what I used her credit card for, it was worth all of it and was still an amazing trip... I didn't want it to end... I actually spent about 10 minutes at the Utah state line and again at the Salt Lake county lines just staring at the imaginary line on the ground wishing that I didn't have to cross it that I could keep living the dream and not have to come back to reality... sadly all dreams do come to an end... oh well, it was fun while it lasted and there's always next year too
)Anyway, this weekend I made the pilgrimage to the San Francisco Pride Festival (have I mentioned just how amazing that was yet, because honestly, it never gets old).
Of course, no vacation is without it's hiccups.
First sighting... NDOT stupidity. It would be greatly appreciated oh wise ones if you let us know before the exit that we need to use that the exit we need to use is closed, rather than making us go up to the next exit, turn around, and go back to two exits back, turn around again just to be able to use the exit before the one that I needed... yeah, smiley was not all too thrilled about that.
Second sighting... why I can never live in a city with less than a million ever again. While stopping for lunch in Winnemucca I hear this gem, "thank God for Pride weekend... that means all the fags will be out of town this weekend"... yeah... and we stop by your hellhole of a town to buy food too, so might not want to be too loud, next time I can always stop in either battle mountain or lovelock... oh wait, you'd probably like that, but then bitch that you don't have my money
Third sighting... screwing with the homophobic desk clerk. Now I do feel slightly bad about this, but honestly this guy brought it on himself. I met up with a friend in San Fran before checking into my hotel, he offered to come along to help me unpack and well, let's be honest, we're all adults here, we know exactly what that means
ahem, anyway...
Me- checking in, last name Eagle
clerk- ok, queen size non smoking correct.
Me- yes sir, queen size non smoking
clerk- are you sure (ok, dude
)Me- yeah, I'm sure.
clerk- (looking at my friend) well we do have rooms with two doubles in non smoking available. (doubly
... did you not just hear me say that yes, I want a room with one fusking queen size bed)me- look, I just want one queen non smoking.
clerk- well where is he going to sleep.
me- ...on the bed.
clerk- and where are you going to sleep (dude, this is way outside of your job description)
me- umm... on the bed.
clerk- so... you're both sleeping in one queen size bed? (dude, drop it... the gloves are off)
me- well, I highly doubt much sleep is going to occur tonight
clerk-
me- now, can you just give me the keys to my room... I know (hotel group's) discrimination policy and you have already crossed the line and violated it, but right now I don't want to deal with a complaint with corporate, especially since it will get back to my manager (I was on an employee discount voucher), and while he is OK with my sexuality, he doesn't need to know who I'm with during my vacation time... corporate policy is that any customer must be checked in as long as they are not going to be using the rooms for an illegal purpose and they are able to pay for it... last I checked being part of a gay relationship is not illegal in this state and I have the money, so give me the keys.
clerk- (under his breath) why can't you just keep this shit in your own room.
me- for the next 72 hours as long as I pay for the room, that is my own room.
clerk- (hands me key and closes window quickly)
seriously, what a douche... I know this was in East Bay and not in San Fran itself, but still... if you have issues with homosexuals, you really need to consider relocating... Utah will be more than happy to accept you as you are.
Fourth sighting... BART part 1. While I will say, BART is an amazing system compared to UTA... like I am almost willing to move to San Fran just for BART (well, so many other reasons, but still). That said, there are some characters on there. On saturday throughout the day I saw pretty much every character from GK's posts, I even had to evade a loach
I'll be honest though, I enjoyed ever minute of it... quite a break from hearing the homophobic, racist, and otherwise bigoted rants I'm so used to hearing on UTA.Firth sighting... not really a sighting, more of a culture shock. HOLY CRAP WHY DIDN'T ANYONE WARN ME ABOUT THE CASTRO DISTRICT. OMG, I didn't know whether to be terrified, filled with joy, or arroused... I think what I ended up feeling was some weird combination of all three at the same time. Self sighting though... I did walk into a pole because I was too busy ogling a gorgous guy wearing nothing but short shorts
Sixth sighting... seriously, why do you live in San Fran. This must be desk clerk's brother... on the BART into the Pride festival sunday morning I heard this guy complaining about having to be surrounded by fags (umm, hello, you are on a train that is running straight into downtown san fran, what did you expect). I did however notice a lesbian couple that was close to him that went from just holding hands to full out make-out for his benefit... while normally I would not condone such blatant public displays, I think this time it was warranted
Seventh sighting... yes, I know what stores there are where I live. OK, I love CVS/Longs, great store... however, there aren't any in Utah. So please Mr. Long's cashier, you're cute, you seem like a nice guy, but would you stop trying to get me to sign up for the extra care card... I told you there is no CVS/Longs where I live, yes I told you I was sure there wasn't one, yup, I've checked, yup, I am sure, yup, I know that it could open someday, when it does I'll get the card... until then, just take my money and let me get on with my life... as it happens though, that was when I bought the aloe vera that I ended up having an allergic reaction to... now my forehead looks a bit like a Star Trek alien's
Eigth sighting... not really a sighting, but still funny as hell. A group of us went out to breakfast monday morning before I left. One of the newer couples with us had the following conversation.
guy1- (notices his date is eating with his right hand) I didn't realize you were right handed.
guy2- yeah, I am.
guy1- (kinda loudly) well you weren't right handed last night.
(awkward silence falls over the entire restaurant)
guy2-
me- could you say that a little bit louder... I'm not sure my roommates heard that BACK IN UTAH.
Ninth sighting... back in Salt Lake. As before has been mentioned, I know, I look like a
Star Trek alien right now... please don't point and stare though... I'm self concious about it enough as it is without you being a dick about it... kthanxbye.wow, that was longer than I thought. Still, despite all the problems, the money it cost, the miles on my car, the goodwill spent with my boss, the wrath of my mother when she finds out what I used her credit card for, it was worth all of it and was still an amazing trip... I didn't want it to end... I actually spent about 10 minutes at the Utah state line and again at the Salt Lake county lines just staring at the imaginary line on the ground wishing that I didn't have to cross it that I could keep living the dream and not have to come back to reality... sadly all dreams do come to an end... oh well, it was fun while it lasted and there's always next year too
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